Register to get the latest post directly to your inbox!
Why Your Words are Your Family's Most Powerful Asset
Words are powerful and hold within them the ability to heal or destroy, uplift or tear down, to encourage or intimidate, to love or to hate.
But they lose their neutrality once they're spoken out of our mouths. We determine if the words we speak help or hurt.
The words we speak shouldn't be treated simply as a means to communicate our thoughts and needs to one another. No, they're far more important. They hold within each word the capability to frame our world.
Our words contain creative ability
God used only His words when He spoke the world into existence. And we were created by God to operative the same way He did. In the book of Genesis we see that God made us in His image and after His likeness. Therefore, we were created to be imitators of the way God operates. I believe He expects us to.
He framed the entire universe with only His words, and He expects us to do the same with the universe of our lives and family. We've been given a great power and the responsibility to use them wisely. In fact, we're all innately wired to use our words with purpose.
Think about when we see someone hurting or in need. We instinctively feel the need to use our words to comfort or encourage. The same is true when we're furious with someone and have to sometimes hold back hurtful words.
I've had fights with my husband where I wanted nothing more than to inflict pain with my words. Yes I did, but I'm not proud of it.
It's just that deep down we know a few choice words can hurt deeper and far longer than a mere physical assault.
Our Words Are Building Our Lives
Think of your words as the building materials of your life. Now picture yourself with your family on a construction site ready to build your lives together. You each have been given tools and the bricks to build the structure you'll be living in. Your words are the bricks that that will become the walls of your life.
You can do as many people do and use those bricks as weapons to throw at each other through our comments. Or you can come together and use them to build your family's legacy.
I've had some regretful moments where I attacked my oldest daughter's character because I was mad at something she did (and probably stressed about something totally unrelated). After those moments, I remember I wanted to disappear because of the shame I felt. I knew that my words were going to linger in her heart if I didn't stomp on my pride and make it right.
It only took a couple instances where I realized I held the ability in my words to help her change the story. Now, when I see something I don't like I tell her, and then show her a new way - writing a new, better story.
This applies to our own lives, marriages, and careers. It's OK to acknowledge when something's not good, but then we need to follow that up with how we can make it better.
Our life, family, and destiny are either nourished to grow or starved to death by the words we speak every day. Some of us have even committed savage murder to the life we're destined to be living right now by words we spoke against our own self.
Our words, our simple passing words, should never be taken lightly. Think of it like our moms used to say, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Good advice.
This advice, however, is usually directed at what we say to others. And so we grow up as adults learning to bite our tongues to hold back hurtful words to others. But we seem to forget that this advice applies to us, our spouses, and children as well.
Whatever we say about our own life, body, husband, children, and purpose is being created all around us. They become our world - whether we like it or not.
We are the prophets of our own lives
If we speak negative and condemning words long enough, we'll eventually change the direction and outcome of what was to be. This is what sociologist Robert K. Merton coined in his work, as a self-fulfilling prophecy. In order for a prophecy to take place, there needs to be a prophet to speak it.
A prophet is one who foretells the future. Or we could say one who foretells their future. To foretell means to tell beforehand; predict, prophesy.
So we have much more power than we realize. We, with our words, can speak out our own future. We can speak out the future of our marriage. We can speak out the future of our children. We can speak out the future of our family.
Robert K. Merton describes a self-fulfilling prophesy as a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true.
How does a false definition, or false belief become a new behavior? That's easy - we speak what we believe out of our mouths. Those words spoken and believed long enough will evolve into our new changed behavior.
The bible teaches that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. It also warns us to guard our heart because what flows out of is will determine the course of our life.
A child who is naturally smart or gifted in some way but is told they are dumb by her family will eventually hear those words long enough until they believe them to be true. She'll begin to speak about herself in a way that supports this belief and soon after will begin to perform in line with those words. Creating her own self-fulfilling prophesy.
This is why as moms and dads, we can't take the words we speak over our children lightly. We are planting seeds in their hearts. Even if we say things in a joking manner.
I this because I was that child. The one who was the butt of all the jokes because I had a real knack for saying silly (dumb) things. So I was dubbed having the "dumb blond" personality. Over time, I began to believe that I really was dumb.
I started doing poorly in school around the 5th grade and my educational career plummeted rapidly until the 8th grade where I dropped out at 15. I eventually, over many years, discovered the truth that I'm extremely bright and have many talents and gifts to offer this world. But that was only but the grace of God!
Now, I'm not picking on, blaming, or saying that my family was malicious in any way. Or that they are the sole reason for my decline. Because we all have to take responsibility for our own actions. But I will say that my family planted subtle seeds that I wasn't good enough. And when I started to struggle, I don't recall the words of encouragement that said I wasn't who I was becoming. I was just that kid who was trouble for everyone around me. So, I went into my hard shell and didn't come out for many years.
We as parents hold the greatest gift we could give our children - our words. Let us not dumb-down our roles to mere providers, protectors, and care-givers. No, we are life-givers using our words to breathe life and purpose into our children.
This is our destiny as parents. If you have children, you know their minds and hearts function like recorders. Recording everything we say and do and playing it back in their own words and actions. Therefore, teach them first to treasure good thoughts that will create good words, and eventually a good life.
Make a decision today to be mindful of the words you speak. Stop throwing your bricks around. I had to do this over and over many times and still do. Be intentional to set into motion your own positive prophesy and speak not what you already see but what you desire to see.
What words to you speak over your family? Do you have declarations? Or did you overcome destructive words from your past?
It's your time to share your testimony!
Hi! I'm Brandi Michel and, not too long ago, I was that frazzled, tired, and overwhelmed mom. Having a family has ALWAYS been my dream, but when it happened - I didn't know how to actually enjoy my blessing of having a family.
That is, until I learned how to tap into a grace that allows me to live in the beautiful, mundane, and even sometimes crazy moments of life. To not just love and take care of my family but to be truly present and enjoy them, too. The goal of Family Felicity is to help you do the same!
LET'S STAY CONNECTED
Subscribe to be notified when new blog posts & products are released and get special offers right to your inbox!
*We Respect Your Privacy - We Will Not Sell, Rent Or Spam Your Email