If you have children in your home the only kind of change that’s really going on is when you’re changing diapers, changing the sheets on the beds, or changing your purse as you head out the door. Oh, who am I kidding – I wear the same purse every day! #FutureFashionGoals
It feels like with so much “need” going around there’s little time for your needs – let alone trying to make real, lasting change in your life. Look, I know you’re busy so I’ve done the research for you. I’ve compiled 12 habits of highly successful goal-setters (you know, those people out there putting crazy ninja skills on their goals and actually slaying them) and crafted them especially for YOU – a busy mom.
As moms, we’re professional take-care-of-everything’s. We do it all but rarely do we give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves. So I urge you to put yourself on the list this year. Let me put it to you this way. You becoming your best self is actually the greatest gift you can give your family.
If you’ve found yourself overwhelmed, burnt-out, and wondering if there’s more to life than this than go ahead and take time to get to know the real you deep inside and help her come out and shine! You got this! Your family really does want to see you happy, healthy, and living your passion.
So, to kick your year off with a bang here’s your totally do-able list of 12 Habits of Highly Successful Goal-Setters:
1. They Don’t Set New Year’s Resolutions
New Year’s resolutions are like kryptonite for actual change. Statistics show only 8% of people who make New Year’s resolutions actually keep them! That’s crazy! It’s not that you shouldn’t set goals in January, but those who practice the habit of setting goals do so throughout the entire year – not just during the hype season.
So, don’t be a lame lemming and pack out the gym in January aggravating all the regulars who hate going in January because they can’t get a treadmill to save their life! And stop aggravating your family with all the crazy, sudden changes in the New Year that they know will vanish with the appearance of sweet, sweet February. It just sends the message that goals are like fads – they come and go with no real impact. Our kids need to see us setting and killing our goals, so they can learn to do the same for themselves.
2. They Understand Goals are a Part of a Big Picture
Goals are simply little steps to get where you want to go. And we ALL have somewhere we want to go in life. Unfortunately, most of us are paralyzed in our efforts to get there. That’s because we make too many isolated goals that aren’t attached to a larger vision. Our goals need to be anchored in a deeper significance.
Our family is a big picture we must use in our goal-setting. Sitting down and writing out your desired vision for your family should be done before you set goals for yourself. For example, if you want to lose weight this year it probably won’t happen if you don’t anchor it with a deeper purpose. If you change your goal to lose 40 pounds over the course of 12 months by taking walks with your family 3 nights per week and finishing the year with a marathon – you have the benefit of accountability and a stronger bond with your family.
3. They Know Goals are Essential for Change
Why do we set goals? For fun? Um … NOOOO! We set goals for one reason only – CHANGE. We want to change our bodies, our health, our financial status, our profession, our living situation, our marriage, our children’s behaviors, on and on and on. The problem is our heart wants to change – to make our lives better. It’s our bodies on the other hand that are totally fine with the way things have been going.
Professional goal slayers have the same problem, too. They just know if they don’t make goal-setting a priority, they’ll stay the same. And for some of us, that’s a terrifying thought. For me, I know the visions deep inside of me and for me to keep going year after year staying exactly the same is like having a reoccurring nightmare. It’s not that I don’t love my life. Not at all! I just see what’s ahead for my entire family and I’m so excited to keep moving forward on this journey – together.
4. They Harness the Power of Focus
When you set your goals, there shouldn’t be 10 unrelated goals for you to focus on all at the same time. Putting your energy and focus on one goal or a few related goals will dramatically increase your success. That’s because our minds tend to think change is the enemy due to the stress it creates. If you start piling on all this change all of a sudden, your body will start to revolt.
There’s a great acronym for focus that fits perfect here: Follow One Course Until Successful. I just need to add one distinction – we shouldn’t just follow “one” course but that one course must be “your” one course. But the point is making sure to focus on one thing at a time. This is very powerful and helps to lock in on one goal until it’s completed or it’s become a habit. Then you’re free to move on to the next one.
5. They Decide to Stop Being Lazy
This one might seem harsh, but the truth is goal-setting isn’t for lazy people. The act of setting and achieving goals is hard work. If you do it the right way, that is. The first thing you must do is write out your big picture. That includes the vision for your family. Once you have a vision for what you want to accomplish and experience this year – it’s time to break that big vision into smaller steps. Those are your goals. After you have your goals listed, you need to go deeper with each one. This ensures that each goal can and will be achieved!
6. They Know Their “Why” Very Well
The most effective goal-setters know how to define their why. It helps propel you forward even when you feel tired and overwhelmed. Taking care of a busy family can leave you feeling sapped when it comes to doing anything beyond putting out the daily fires. But when you reflect on why you’re working on that book after everyone else gets to go to bed – you keep going. When your body says sleep …. give me sleep! I’m not saying you should ever exhaust yourself to meet your goals, but sacrifice is an ingredient all goal crushers understand all too well and so should you.
7. They Set Goals That Challenge but not Overwhelm Them
Goals should never overwhelm you. I mean, you’ve got enough on your plate as it is! But they should challenge you to go further, become stronger, and transform you into the person you were created to be. I’d take a wild guess and say that the vast majority of people in this world are living their Plan B Life instead of the Plan A Life they were destined to live.
But all those living their dream life didn’t get there by pressuring themselves with unrealistic goals and ideas. That’s a sure-fire way to get off track. You can prevent the feeling of total overwhelm if you set goals that are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-based.) This way when you start setting goals you won’t get burn-out but will be challenged to keep growing.
Here are some amazing books that I highly recommend ANYONE read who’s ready to make a real and lasting change using the power of goal-setting.
8. They’re Not Afraid to Fail
All successful people understand that failure is all a part of the process of, well … being successful. It’s been said if you’re not failing you’re not doing anything. I used to be one of those people who was actually paralyzed at the thought of failing or making a mistake. To cope, I just didn’t do anything. Sound familiar?
Failure has been a launching pad for many of the greatest successes in life! So when you sit down to write your vision and goals, don’t let the fear of failure hold you back. No one is powerful enough to stop you from your greatness but YOU!
9. They Use Hope as a Tool and not the Method for Change
Hope is essential to our survival as humans. We desperately need hope, however, too many of us are misusing hope and it’s actually leading to frustration, and even depression. The Bible teaches that hope deferred makes the heart sick. Which means when we simply hope for something and it doesn’t happen right away it leads to hopelessness. Hoping for something to change is rarely an effective strategy for change because it doesn’t involve any action.
Hope should be used as a tool to inspire us to do better, experience more, and live our lives with more purpose and meaning. It also helps us through the process of change by telling us we really can do this. But the actual method for change is to take action through setting goals and working to master them – one by one.
10. They Take the Slow Road
With goal-setting, faster isn’t always better. Trying to rush change will only lead to burn-out, and that’s not how we want to start this New Year. Because weight loss is such a huge, reoccurring goal for so many I’ll use that as an example again. If you want to lose 50 lbs this year, it’s not a great strategy to set your goal to lose it all in the first 3 months.
Don’t mistake your strong desire to see something happen quickly, for a great goal strategy. What’s more likely to happen if you pressure yourself to lose 1 pound every day, versus every week, is a “hit the wall” type situation. This is where you totally overwhelm yourself and have a breakdown and declare 2018 as the year for your total transformation because 2017 is a no-go. Breaking down that same goal over the entire year will challenge you because you’ll have to put in the work BUT you can actually enjoy the process and will be so much more likely to continue and live a healthy lifestyle.
Finally, there is so much beauty and opportunities that we miss striving to hit the highway. When the backroads are how we’re able to fully enjoy and embrace the journey to our purpose.
11. They Write Goals in Pencil
Goals need to be tweaked often as new information is revealed in the goal-setting process. Sometimes until we start chipping away at a goal there are things we just didn’t know yet. Being flexible allows you to keep everything moving as you make adjustments along the way. We also need to tweak our goals if we see our goal is either too challenging or even unachievable or if our goal is just too easy.
12. They Work with a Team
Let’s face it, I’m an island kind of girl. I like working alone. I’m a classic introvert who’s always struggled with confidence and anxiety working with other people. I’ve certainly come a long way, though. If you’re like me working with others can feel like a chore sometimes. But I’ve come to realize that we need people in our lives to help us move forward and keep us on track. If you have great friends, a support or mastermind group, or maybe even a group of moms at your kid’s school that you gel with – share your goals. Oh and let them share their goals with you.
What habits have you developed to set and crush your goals? Please share in the comments below. We can grow this list beyond this 12 here!