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50 Ways to Make Your Child Feel Loved in their own Love Language

Get 50 ways to make your child feel loved everyday! Plus, each list is broken down into each love language.We all know what it’s like to feel loved. It’s this experience of love that hits our heart much differently than merely knowing we’re loved. So many of us live the majority of our days in the “knowing we’re loved” zone, versus actually experiencing that love in action.

We all want to feel that love a whole lot more than just knowing it’s there. I know I’m guilty of letting the days go by without going beyond the usual hug, kiss, and I love you as I drop them off for school. And, of course, the thought that feeding them, clothing them, and sheltering them is an expression of love.

And though they are clearly expressions of love, I have to ask myself when was the last time my child “felt” love. A love that was meant just for them, and not a one-sized-fits-all love that merely got tossed to all the kids at once on the way out the door.

There’s nothing like making a list of 50 ways to make your child feel loved to make you feel like a crappy mom! 😉 

The truth is, far too often we all take for granted that our spouse, children, and friends simply know we love them and leave it at that. Until, a holiday or other special event rolls around. Then we bring out the big guns!

But our loved ones need so much more than that, especially our sweet children. They need to feel and experience a clear and tangible expression of our love. One they can’t question or talk themselves out of later. And the best way to do this is to show them love in their own love language.

We Speak Love in our Own Language

In case you’ve been hiding under a rock (or mounds of your children’s dirty laundry ;)) and haven’t heard of love languages; let me catch you up.

The concept is taught extensively by Gary Chapman who wrote several books on the topic including The 5 Love Languages of Children – which I HIGHLY recommend along with all of his other books on the topic.

He teaches that there are basically five main ways (languages) we humans uniquely communicate love to each other. We all communicate on some level using all five languages, but Gary believes we each have one overarching language that’s stronger than all the others. That’s our love language.

The interesting part is, we naturally communicate our love to others using our own love language. I mean, that’s our own language right? But this can hinder the flow of the “love exchange” because, as you know by now, we receive love best in our own language. Confused yet?
Please don’t be. Think of love languages as actual languages. If your husband spoke French and you only spoke English, your relationship would be challenging at best. But if you knew each other’s language and chose to speak that language to each other – you’d be in business. No more mixed signals. Well, hopefully.

This gives us the challenge of identifying and understanding the love language of those we want to show love to the most – our family. This way you can shoot your arrows of love like The Mocking Jay and hit the bulls-eye every single time. Imagine that!

The whole point with understanding and using love languages is the concept of filling each other’s love tank. And doing things that fill our child’s love tank in the specific way that they need it, sends the message loud and clear to your child – I AM LOVED.

Clues to Identify your Child’s Love Language

In case you don’t know your child’s love language, I’m going to briefly list a few clues to point you in the right direction. I’ll warn you, it may seem at first that your child has all the love languages. But if you observe your child over time, it will become more clear. Once you know your child’s love language, you can have fun delivering love messages to them in a way that’s sure to fill their love tank all the way to the top!

Physical Touch

  • Your child is touchy-feely and never seems to leave your side.
  • Frequently grabs your hand to hold it, leans on you, or rubs you in an affectionate way.
  • Loves to snuggle, cuddle, and be close.
  • If you reject this snuggle-fest request, they’ll likely feel rejected themselves.

Words of Affirmation

  • Your child is highly motivated by your words of encouragement.
  • They tend to feed off the validation of others.
  • They also will be more effected by harsh verbal correction or discipline.
  • Compliments and praise are like fuel to their soul.

Quality Time

  • Your child will frequently ask to spend time with you, even after you just had an awesome one on one day yesterday! Lol
  • Every time you turn around – they’re there looking to see what you’re doing.
  • If they aren’t getting the attention they’re seeking out, they will often resort to getting attention elsewhere. This is where getting negative attention can come in.
  • They’ll ask to come along when you’re just running errands. The point is, they want to be with you.

Gifts

  • Your child sees receiving gifts a special moment.
  • On big gift giving days like Christmas and Birthdays, they’ll often remember who gave each and every gift.
  • They will often collect and store seemingly random mementos from places they’ve been or from things they’ve been given by friends.

Acts of Service

  • Your child always wants to help and will even try to take over doing things like folding the laundry or putting away dishes as an act of love.
  • They will look for things that need to be done, like cleaning up the pile of blocks that got left in the corner. They’ll feel proud and accomplished after doing this, so showing your appreciation will go a long way.
  • They will naturally look for ways to help others.

50 Ways to Show Your Child Love in Their Own Love Language

We should go to extra mile to show our love in our child's love language

 Physical Touch

  1. Watch their favorite TV show or read a book snuggled up on the couch.
  2. Create a special one-of-a-kind hand shake.
  3. Give a lingering hug every day. One that just holds for an extra moment or two.
  4. Offer piggy-back or on the shoulder rides (if their still little enough!)
  5. Invite them into your lap to read as long and as often as they’ll still accept the invitation.
  6. Challenge them to an arm or thumb wrestling contest.
  7. Play a board game. Twister is a great one if you can handle it, Mom!
  8. ALWAYS tuck your child in for bed whenever possible.
  9. Wake them up sweetly with a warm snuggle instead of the light on and a, “wake up!”
  10. Do yoga or stretches together using each other for gentle resistance and support.

Words of Affirmation

  1. Write them a love note in their lunch box.
  2. Send them a text message telling them how awesome they are. Be specific and genuine! They’ll spot a canned praise a mile away.
  3. Always be ready with something awesome to say about them when they’re with their friends and/or siblings.
  4. When disciplining/correcting use the sandwich method. Praise – correction – praise.
  5. Offer words of praise that are very specific such as, “it was so awesome when you did … “
  6. Talk openly about them in a positive way around other family and friends.
  7. Always reserve correction to be given privately within your home and not around others.
  8. Create fan signs for your child at their sports games or other activities. And scream their name loudly if appropriate.
  9. Purchase a nice journal for them and write an inspiring message for them on the first page and date it. Words are important for those with this love language so journaling is usually a great activity to encourage.
  10. Create a secret journal that only you and your child know about that you use to write back and forth to each other. This is wonderful for those challenging tween years.

Quality Time

  1. Have a regularly scheduled date day. Could be simple and free like going to the park every Friday.
  2. Go on a walk alone. Allow them to lead the conversation.
  3. Invite them to go with you to do mundane tasks like running to the grocery store.
  4. Find a way to include them in your work, if you work from home and they’re old enough. Get creative.
  5. Play with your child. Enter their play fort, hide really well in a game of hid-and-seek, and learn how to give their dolls the most stylish do’s for their latest date to the ball.
  6. Create a project together that the whole family can enjoy when it’s done.
  7. Reorganize or rearrange a room together.
  8. Take up a physical activity like running together. You can train together and run marathons throughout the year.
  9. Cook a meal together. Allow them to plan, shop, and prepare it.
  10. Identify a talent, hobby, or sport they love and find a way to get involved. Become a couch, a volunteer, or start your own group.

Gifts

  1. Give unique and meaningful gifts like planting a beautiful tree together in the backyard. Preferably one of their favorites, if possible.
  2. Tap into your inner DIY crafter (get on Pinterest) and find something to make for your child that they can use every day like a jewelry organizer or a nice phone charging station. The fact that you took the time to make something won’t be lost on this child!
  3. Get creative in making gifts for classroom gift giving seasons like Valentine’s Day. They like giving gifts as much as receiving them.
  4. Give them the gift of quality stationary so they can beautifully express their appreciation for the gifts they receive from others.
  5. Make their gifts an event or experience by coordinating a gift treasure hunt.
  6. Work on a project that allows them to use their talents as gift giving opportunities.
  7. Give them gifts with a deeper meaning or significance such as a piece of jewelry or a personalized journal. And make the packaging thoughtful!
  8. Bring them a personal memento from an interesting place you went that day or from your travels. For example, a cool looking rock or flower. Repay the “look what I found” sentiment we get from them so often.
  9. Buy them personalized items with their name on it. This could be as simple as a dinner plate or cup with their name printed on it, but can get more special as they get older.
  10. Create cool spaces for them to store their new gifts or mementos. Like baskets, shadowbox shelves, or cabinets with open spaces.

Acts of Service

  1. Give your child special responsibilities they personally enjoy doing such as cooking, walking the dog, or watering the plants. Allow them to have feedback in the process.
  2. Create opportunities to display random acts of kindness to strangers together.
  3. Offer to be a teacher’s helper in your child’s classroom and allow your child to work as your assistant.
  4. Discuss how you can work with them to use their interests to help others on your street. If they love animals, you can both offer to wash their neighbor’s dog for free together.
  5. Pay back their acts of service by doing one of their chores secretly.
  6. Let your child HELP! Even when they roll the shirts up instead of folding them.
  7. Plan simple random acts of kindness just for them.
  8. Take the time to teach. Instead of just “doing” everything, slow down and teach your child how to do something.
  9. Always bring extra to share. If you get a snack in the kitchen put extra on your plate so you can freely share. Or better yet, offer to get them their own plate!
  10. Cook them their favorite “real” breakfast every now and then on a school morning

This is just a list to get your imagination working. As mom, it’s important for us to take the time to learn how to deliver the message of our love in a way that speaks uniquely to them. No more generic love!

Do me a favor and put in the comments below what your child’s love language is. My oldest daughter’s is giving gifts, and my middle daughter’s is physical touch. I’m not yet sure of my toddler’s yet but I’ll keep you posted. Tell us what love expressions you’re planning next! Let’s keep this list going beyond this 50!

 

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Hey there! I'm Brandi and I'm crazy excited you stopped by! To get to know me a bit better, my story's right here. And to learn about what Family Felicity means and how we can help you really rock your motherhood journey, check it out here. If you're a mom looking for ways to make your life easier, more enjoyable, and filled with passion and purpose - you've come to the right place! Welcome!

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21 Comments on "50 Ways to Make Your Child Feel Loved in their own Love Language"

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Megan Miller
Guest

I’m so glad you acknowledged that we all accept love in different ways! A lot of people project how they receive love how everyone does as well. I’m not someone who likes to give or receive gifts but that seems to be the norm in my husband’s family and it has been hard for me to change my ways. My daughter is only 10 months old so she really hasn’t discovered it yet even though I have an inkling on how she will receive it. Thank you for all of the great ideas!

Brandi Michel
Guest

Thanks for the comment Megan! I think it’s so much “easier” to express love in the way we know or are most comfortable but the results are much less successful. I believe we all want to hit the bulls-eye on our message so we must take the “harder” road.

Melanie E
Guest

We have read all of the love language books and enjoyed them. It really changed the way that we parent!

Brandi Michel
Guest

Thanks Melanie! I love, love these books. Great for every relationship!

Christina Rambo
Guest

My daughter is a physical touch girl — we have “tickle time” everyday. I think she’s crazy!! My son… definitely quality time. He needs one on one puzzle time or a board game daily. Great post!

Brandi Michel
Guest

Thanks for the comment Christina! I think it’s fascinating how different we all are and how we need different things to be full. 😊

Sarah Jean
Guest

I always know when my kids ask for snuggles, they are needing some extra love. Great post!

Brandi Michel
Guest

Yes, snuggles are totally a sign for more love expressions. ❤ Thanks!

Mom Noms
Guest

I seriously never thought of looking for my little man’s love language! I’m going to have to pay more attention to his ways of loving so that I can try to love him back in ways that will make him feel happier! Thank you!

Brandi Michel
Guest

I miss so glad you were able to find this! I didn’t know this either when my oldest daughter was born. It makes connections easier and more special so it’s worth the investment in time. Thanks for commenting.

Lauren B.
Guest

My son is all of these! ha!! But my daughter is a toucher for sure.. great post!

Brandi Michel
Guest

How old is your son, Lisa? That’s too funny. I believe the older a child gets the easier it is to pinpoint. My middle daughter is phyical touch with a whole lot of quality time mixed in. 😂 She’s litterally “there” all the time. It’s sometimes challenging for me because I’m the opposite. 😬But it’s her natural sweetness that makes it easier. Thanks for the comment.

Tina@AMindfulFairytale
Guest

This is awesome! So many great ideas to connect with our kids on their level and let them feel all the love we have to give.

Brandi Michel
Guest

Thanks! I’m so glad you liked them. Yes, connection is the ultimate goal.

Nicole Ziegler
Guest

Wonderful ideas! I have 5 kids and it’s easy to get caught up in a routine of the typical “I love you, have a good day” send off in the morning. I will be putting in a bigger effort to make it more personal.

Brandi Michel
Guest

Congrats on your 5 blessings! 😊 I’m personally taking on the challenge to get better too. I’m focusing on making it fun so I’ll keep doing it regularly. 😉 Thanks for commenting.

Gettin' Sane
Guest

I love the teachings on love languages. These are great ideas to apply them to your children.

Brandi Michel
Guest

Thanks! These are geared toward our children but could totally be used for other relationships like our spouse. 😊

Lisa
Guest

I really really love this!! It’s so important for more people to understand how to love <3

Brandi Michel
Guest

Thanks for the comment Lisa! I totally agree. Learning how to love is so important to know so grow healthy relationships, especially with our children.

QueenMomJen
Guest

Wow, this is such a fantastic post! Connecting through each child’s love language is powerful stuff. Thank you for writing and sharing this!

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