I honestly hate New Year’s resolutions and never do them. They’re no different than the empty, tired threats I throw at my kids from my room to turn off the TV and go to sleep early on a Sunday night… they make no impact whatsoever.
Resolutions give people false hope that things will be different this year just because we really want them to. And then at the end of each year, we realize the needle never moved. Not a single inch.
That doesn’t mean I’m just a floater, haphazardly moving through life. I just don’t like being told when I should be living my best life. Just like when Black Friday rolls around and everyone says it’s the biggest sale of the year… lies.
How I do like to ring in each New Year is to reflect on what type of person, wife, and mom I want to be. With each passing year, I still believe we can become better versions of ourselves each and every year. Not by making empty resolutions but by creating a powerful vision of who we want to become and deciding to take intentional action on those small things little by little.
One of the things I strive for is to be a better mom than I was the year before. Not some perfect Suzy Homemaker version of myself but to do the things that are important to me. Like being more patient and not losing it with my kids every single day. Oh and consuming smaller amounts of their chicken nuggets and cookies cause I also don’t want to buy new jeans in 2019.
This year I’m going to be less hurried, rushed, and busy with life. As crazy as this may sound, I became a mother because I really wanted to. And even crazier… I actually really like my kids, not every moment of the day, but most.
And every year they keep getting older and I can see the time flying. So this is how I’m going to do my best to capture the time this year.
1 – I’m going to ask more questions instead of lecturing.
As my kids get older, I’ve learned that talking isn’t my best parenting tool. Listening is. This year I’m going to practice the art of holding my tongue except to ask more questions to keep them talking. Yes, I know… not more talking! Ugh. But seriously, we can’t share their heart if we don’t know what’s in it.
Here are 60 fun questions to ask your kids to get you started!
2 – I’m going to stop sweating the small stuff and embrace all the little moments.
I have literally cried over spilled milk, spilled lemonade, and especially spilled grape juice. But over the years I’ve learned to calm down and teach my kid how to clean up their own mess. Done. But more importantly to really see and capture the sweet little moments I used to miss because I got all worked up and spent the whole day feeling guilty.
3 – I’m going to stick to my word. But before I can stick to my word I need to be more selective with my commitments.
I can’t say yes to taking my kids skating if I don’t look at my schedule first. No more canceling on my kids if I can help it. Also, if I say, “if you leave your room a mess before school one more day, you’ll lose your tablet for 2 weeks” then that’s just what I’m going to do. Period.
4 – I’m going to put my phone out of sight when my kids are talking to me.
I Brandi, am a smartphone addict. I, like so many other moms, find myself mindlessly scrolling on my phone whenever I have a free moment. I honestly don’t even know why I’m doing it. But one thing I’m changing is not holding and scrolling on my phone when my kid is talking to me. No matter how boring or endlessly long their story is… it’s rude.
But what’s even worse is I’m missing out on the real and beautiful or silly moments right in front of me. They’re always there… I just have a hard time seeing them when my phone’s in the
5 – I’m going to let my kids be messy.
I’m not that mess loving mom who makes toddler sensory bins and lets her kids finger paint. I don’t even like Play-doh. But somewhere in 2018, I took note of how making slime and ruining all my good bowls was a great bonding experience for my older girls who didn’t fight during one slime making session the whole year. That’s huge and so mess gets the win in my book.
6 – I’m going to give them more responsibility.
After the reading that eye-opening Harvard study that says kids grow up to be more successful, happy, and make more money because they did chores growing up I realized that I’d be doing more damage to my precious angels by continuing to clean up their rooms and fold the laundry on my own. So there you have it… more chores in 2019!
7 – I’m going to be more grateful.
We all know the saying about grass and poop in our neighbor’s yards. Sadly, I still struggle with comparison and not feeling like I measure up to all the fit, ab-revealing moms with perfectly posed children on Instagram. But I’m going to decide to really see the greatness in my own yard cause it really is pretty great.
Much love and success to you in your 2019!
P.S. This was originally just an email I sent to my lovely subscribers, but it resonated so well I thought I’d share it with all my readers! If you’d love to join my email list and get inspiration like this (that I don’t normally share in a blog post) click here to join!