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The Busy Mom’s Guide to Starting Your Own Quiet Time Routine in 2019!

The Busy Mom's Guide to Starting a Quiet time Routine

As moms, one of the things we need the most but probably get the least is a consistent quiet time. And I’m not talking about the 2 seconds you break free to go to the bathroom. Let’s be honest – if you have little ones waiting “impatiently” outside the door – that doesn’t cut it for quality quiet time

They always seem so interested in what I’m doing in there. Lol

Having a “quiet time” seems like a misnomer in a home filled with loud little people running around. Quiet is a luxury most of us just don’t have. And time is the other luxury we seem to come up short on day after day even if your children aren’t little anymore.

The Busy Mom's Guide to Starting a Quiet time Routine

Most of us press through each day trying to make it to the end, so we can get up and do it all over again. Kind of like Groundhog’s Day for moms.

We all know the benefits of practicing a regular quiet time routine – time to connect with the One who created us and allow Him to shape us into who He created us to be. Time to invest in ourselves and our personal growth, so we can be ready to live out the good life He promised.

But we so often feel like we can’t afford to take a few minutes for ourselves. That’s selfish and unnecessary, right? But I’ll step out there and say you can’t afford NOT to.

Why You NEED a Quiet Time Routine

You NEED time to recharge, rest, grow, and reflect. Notice I didn’t say deserve. Although I believe we all deserve our own deserted island and personal wait staff for all we do as moms – what we need jumps to the front of the list.

And we NEED a regular quiet time routine to be effective as moms, wives, and every other title we hold in our lives.

Without it we’re just pouring out from an empty vessel. And let’s face it – our job description as moms is pouring.

But something happens when we become empty – we still pour. Only what comes out then is resentment, anger, and burnout. Sound familiar?

We’re vessels who are desperately needed by our families so giving of ourselves on a daily basis is really our privilege to do so. So this “pouring” is something I get to do and not something I have to do.

But allow me to be transparent for a moment, as moms, we’re the heartbeat of our family. And we need to be sure our heart stays in great condition because if we’re tired, angry, frustrated, and filled with resentment – our family feels that and feeds on it.

Understanding the purpose of quiet time is key to tapping into its power. So we can stay filled up and pour out the love, help, support, and encouragement our family needs from us.

Related: Creative Ways for Moms to Grow in Faith When Life Gets Overwhelming!

The Purpose and Power of a Quiet Time Routine

The purpose of a quiet time routine is to connect intimately with Christ, our Savior so He can show us who He created us to be. And allow the process of transformation to take place in our lives.

And most of us think it’s literally just time in the quiet. Nope! There’s so much more potential here.

The power of practicing a regular quiet time is that you and everyone around you get to reap the results of your daily transformation by becoming – day by day – the person you were destined to be.

Most people believe that quiet time is for just getting a break and doing a list of activities like praying and reading. And while these activities are extremely effective to do during your quiet time; having the right heart and understanding of its purpose is how you really grab hold of its power.

Doing random things, no matter how good they are, without connection to a bigger picture rarely leads to substantial change.

Change is what we’re ALL after. That’s why we read books and articles like this one. That’s why we set goals and have desires for more opportunities to earn more income or start new dreams. We all have somewhere we want to go.

I firmly believe there are places we’re called to go and things we’re destined to experience, but we’ll never get the opportunity until we become the person who’s qualified to open those doors.

If you find yourself desperate to make a change, I’d love to share with you a book that was such a life-changing blessing to my soul. It’s Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

Related: How to Find the Courage to Fearlessly Chase your Dreams

Are You Being or Becoming?

In other words, when we devote more energy on “becoming” that person we know we are on the inside and less on just “being” who we are now, the journey to our purpose becomes a whole lot easier.

Take a moment and visualize your dream self. What do you look like? Are you in better shape? Healthier? Happier? Richer? More fulfilled? Stable? Confident? Sexier? 😉 A better mom? Wife? Friend?

What will it take to become her? Not to try and manufacture her, but to actually become her?

One thing’s for sure – it’ll take work. But if you have that vision of yourself – I can confidently say that it’s your vision. It belongs to you and should be your mission in life to become that vision.

And to be clear, this isn’t about going on some mid-life crisis or selfish pursuit. This is about you becoming your best version of you so you can love your family from a place of fulfillment and joy. No more burnt-out mom who yells out of utter exhaustion, frustration, and the fear of never changing.

I’ve been there, feeling like a failure who’s better off not being their mother. One yelling fit after another with guilt piling up around me.

The truth is, I’ve always been an awesome, loving mom. But I was stuck in the cycle of stagnation. I didn’t understand the purpose nor the power of giving time to myself with a clear focus. I spent most days trying to survive and when late afternoon came around, I was rushing the day forward so I could see a new, better day tomorrow.

Sadly, the better days never came because I never created them. I was floating with no intentional focus on how I thought about my days and how I could make them better. I started each year with the hope things would get better and ended each year with the disappointment that everything was still the same.

It wasn’t that I was miserable every day, but there were things that I knew I needed to change, but just didn’t know how.

Now I spend my days living in the present moments and I use my daily quiet time to reflect on who I’m becoming and where I’m going. And even though I have a long way to go, I’m fulfilled in knowing that every day I’m growing toward my goals.

Related: The Truth About Mom Guilt and 4 Steps to Get Rid of It Forever

How to Get Started with your Quiet Time Routine

Let me start off by saying quiet time, especially for moms with small children, is a huge sacrifice. So exactly when and how much time you’ll spend for your quiet time is going to be different for every mom.

Just remember, anything worth doing is worth sacrificing for! But if you’re not currently in the practice of having a quiet time routine at all, start off small and work your way up.

Depending on the day, I spend 30 minutes to an hour very early in the morning before I start my work.

If you don’t have a quiet time right now, here are a few tips to show you how to quickly get started with your own quiet time routine!

  1. If you’re pressed for time, roll your alarm back 15 minutes earlier every day. I recommend starting light and adding more time as you grow. Everyone can get up just 15 minutes earlier!
  2. Use a journal sheet that has prompts, questions, and/or blanks to fill in. This helps you have a plan already set and you don’t have to do anything but show up!
  3. Have a place to go every day. Even if it’s your own bed and you just roll over, having a place set for your quiet time tells your brain that you’re serious. By the way, if you’re just starting out the bed isn’t going to be your best option for longevity.
  4. Be focused on change. Remember, having a quiet time isn’t just about doing stuff or having “me time.” It’s the time you set aside to become that woman you envisioned earlier. Quiet time is like a cocooned space you crawl into every day and slowly emerge day by day as your true, beautiful butterfly self.
  5. Read a devotional. I find devotionals a wonderful way to read and reflect on God’s Word. There are so many that are focused on whatever topic you wish to study or work on.

Here are some wonderfully encouraging devotionals I recommend for moms:

Related: 7 Simple Habits That’ll Yield Big Results in your Life

Getting the Most out of Your Quiet Time

The following are activities I do in my quiet time. I don’t necessarily do each thing every day or follow a rigid routine. I just start with my purpose in mind and go with the flow. I recommend you do the same until you find what works for you.

Pray

The way I start my quiet time is to pray. In other words, I talk to my Creator –  my Heavenly Father. I tell Him how grateful I am for having this new day in the first place. Then I honor Him by speaking highly of who He is. In other words, I give Him praise because He is truly worthy of all the praise I could possibly give! God has been so good to me!

I pray for my family, my community, and anything else that’s on my prayer list or that comes to mind.

I also ask for the wisdom I need for my day or anything else I’m facing. God’s Word promises that if we ask for wisdom, He’ll liberally supply it to us. And of course, I use this time to pray for others who are on my heart. Basically, prayer is part of my relationship with God and allows Him the space to speak to my heart at a time when I’m free of distractions.

Journal

Journaling is widely known to provide many benefits for our overall health, well-being, and success in life. But I personally love to journal because it works and has helped me so much in my life! I’ve actually been journaling since I was very young. I guess it’s the writer in me that needs to express myself.

Journaling is the time I use to also plan and reflect. I reflect on the previous day’s events and evaluate how I felt and what was good or not so good. I notate blessings that happened that day, missteps that I want to avoid in the future, and any powerful lessons I learned. I also allow it to be a natural tracker of my transformation progress. And when I’m in a planning period, I use my quiet time for writing out my vision and goals.

Here are some wonderful journals with writing prompts to help you journal every day.

Read

Reading is one of the most effective and powerful activities you can do for your personal growth. Just pick a topic to read and let the growing begin! I start off by reading my bible which is my foundation for everything else in my life. I’ll read based on whatever reading plan or bible study I presently have going on.

I don’t spend a lot of time reading, though. Just a chapter or so is all my time will allow during this season in my life. For my other books, I try to read a few pages per day. You’ll be surprised how impactful reading really is, even if you’re only reading a couple pages per day. Just be consistent!

You don’t have to do all the things I mentioned here. You can do one or totally add in your own elements. I just shared what works for me personally. But the key is giving yourself permission to invest in yourself. To press the pause button for a moment so you can be more effective every day and grow into your very best self.

Here are more of my favorite books I know you’ll love:

Related: 4 Surprising Signs You’re a Burn Out Mom and How to Get Out

Leave a comment below to share how you use your quiet time. Do you have any questions or suggestions on how you can easily add a quiet time routine to your day? Let’s get talking!Don't let being a busy mommy stop you from finding time for yourself. Learn how to start your own quiet time routine in 2019!

Ready to start a quiet time routine for yourself in 2019! These simple steps will help you be your best in this New Year! #momlife

Moms are always juggling many things. Having a consistent devotional time for quiet reflect and bible study is so important to living your best life and keeping your sanity! #jesus #selfcare #selflove #momlife

7 Life-Changing Effects of Waking Up Before Your Kids & How to Easily Get Started

How to easily wake up before your kids and the 7 powerful effects that happen! Three simple steps to get you started! #momlife

I like to say that I’m a “sleep person.” Not a morning person or a night person… just a mama who really, really loves her precious sleep.

But a few years ago I came to a crossroad and desperately needed to make a change in my life and do things differently. There was just one problem – I didn’t have any wiggle room in my daily schedule to move things around.

How to easily wake up before your kids and the 7 powerful effects that happen! Three simple steps to get you started! #momlife

As moms, our lives tend to revolve around everyone else’s needs and schedules so I knew if I wanted more time, and time that I could have consistently, I was going to have to steal it from myself.

And that’s what I did.

I took baby steps and started waking up before my kids… and the results were life-changing. No seriously, waking up early changed my life.

And I won’t sugar coat it for you, it was never and is never easy. It takes tons of sacrifice every single day. Again, I really LOOOVE sleeping in.

However, I made a choice for myself that I’m so happy I did.

But before I share all the details of why I made this choice, I feel it’s necessary to cover a few points first.

The first is that learning to wake up early was a process that evolved over a couple of years. And the goal to start shouldn’t feel like a load of weight or pressure to do one more huge thing as a mom. Motherhood is hard enough and this is NOT the only way to do things.

In fact, read to the end to hear my full thoughts on this issue.

And second, motherhood is filled with so many expectations on what we should be doing and when. Only you can decide if this is the season for you to add on something new. And you’ll know inside when the time is right.

7 Life-Changing Effects of Waking Up Before Your Kids

However, waking up to the sound of children running around, whining “I’m Hungry”, and fighting over toys can be literally the worst way to start your day… ever!

Even if you decide to wake up a simple 15 minutes before your kids and steal a moment to soak up the quiet stillness of the morning, you’ll feel so much more ahead of the day instead of running behind.

This is the most obvious benefit of waking up before your kids. And it’s a BIG one!

But there are also more little-known and life-changing benefits of rising before your little ones and that’s what I’m covering in detail in this post. 

Related posts on living your best life as a busy mom:

6 Surefire Ways to Ditch Overwhelm and be More Productive Today

9 Ways to Rid Your Mind of Self-Doubt & Become a More Confident Person

The Secret to Working Out and Staying Fit as a Busy Mom

4 Positive Mindsets Shifts to Help You Live a More Enjoyable Life Right Now

1 – You Come to Know You are Loved by You

As women, we struggle with self-care and self-love. It’s not hard to see why with all the constant pouring out we do every moment of the day. We’re too often left bone-dry and feeling underappreciated.

We often fight feelings of guilt, failure, and not being a good enough mom. I believe in many ways motherhood is the great equalizer for women, who all experience these feelings in their day to day mom life.

With all those negative feelings stewing around our amazing qualities, our unrelenting love for our families, and all the great things we do every day can become dull and unnoticed.

Why? Because motherhood is expected and simply a part of your daily life. Moms don’t get awards for doing an amazing job… it’s expected.

But when you suddenly decide to make a sacrifice and do something for you… something unexpected happens. You start to notice that YOU matter too. That YOU are still there. And YOU are loved by you.

And when that self-love kicks in, you start thinking, doing, and acting differently. You wear better clothes, you take a shower every day or most days, and you begin thinking about those old dusty goals from your pre-kid days.

2 – You Become Stronger

If you know anything about working out you know that when you first start… your muscles are crazy weak. And after you work them they revolt and make you walk around in serious pain for a few days.

Walking around like a duck after a great leg day is the best. 😉

But after you keep showing up and working out those same muscles they hurt less, grow bigger and stronger, and help to burn all that suffocating fat that surrounds those sexy muscles.

That process of growing stronger at the gym is the same process that happens when you stick to your goal of waking up earlier than your kids.

It gets easier and you start to experience an inner strength rising up inside that’s the best kick starter for your day.

3 – You Gain More Confidence

Confidence is something I’ve always struggled with in my life. I spent so much of my energy comparing myself to everyone around me which always left me drained in self-confidence.

That was partly because I never gave myself the space to think my own thoughts, create my own ideas, and even set my own goals.

When you never give yourself the place to stretch yourself and only rely on doing what everyone else thinks is best, your mind starts to believe you aren’t capable.

Yes, waking up roughly three hours before my kids allowed me to see that I don’t have to just take life as it comes to me, but I have the power to write my own story as I want it to be told.

4 – You Learn to Trust Yourself

No one likes being stood up, especially on a continual basis. In fact, if one of your friends constantly invited you to meet up for coffee and catch up but left you hanging again and again, you probably wouldn’t be friends for long.

That’s because that’s rude and disrespectful. It sends the message that you don’t matter to them. But it also brings into question their integrity. You simply can’t trust a word they say.

Now let’s talk about how many times you invited yourself for a quiet run in the morning and stayed in bed instead. Or a million other times you told yourself you’d be somewhere, doing something and decided your Netflix account was a better friend than you are.

Here’s the real danger in not keeping your word to yourself. Studies on cognitive dissonance show that when people’s actions and beliefs don’t line up, they usually change their beliefs to match their actions.

You’re actually telling yourself you don’t matter and don’t deserve the time you’ve tried to set aside for yourself. And learning to stick with your early rise goal allows you to start trusting yourself again.

5 – You Become a Master

Malcolm Gladwell shook the productivity world when we said that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become a master of anything.

This can totally feel overwhelming but it’s also strangely encouraging because there’s a clear number… a clear goal to be attained.

Now, whether or not you believe this 10,000-hour rule or not (and many do not) the fact is, the longer you do anything the easier and better it gets.

And I’m not talking about trying to become a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer if writing isn’t your thing. We’re talking about doing something you’re already passionate about and already doing or wanting to do on some level.

When you set aside a consistent time to write, read/study, sow, design, build, workout or whatever it is, you will gain your own kind of mastery!

6 – Your Purpose Comes Alive

When moms sacrifice their precious sleep it’s got to be for something that really matters. Something that’s deeply personal and inspiring to their soul.

And in most cases, that thing is closely connected to their passion or purpose. And when you give yourself permission to pursue your passion, over time it starts to evolve and come alive.

Things that don’t get watered and fed wither and die. When we feed our passions they get stronger and begin to thrive.

I believe we as moms all have a unique God-given purpose outside of motherhood. Our purpose may even be closely related to being a mom but motherhood is a ministry and a season of its own.

Giving time to your gifts and giving yourself time to have quiet time with God is so important to your personal growth.

7  – You Become a Better Mom

Finally, and not at all the least, is that you actually become a better mom. Didn’t see that coming, did you!

When you make time for you and just you, something powerful happens… you loose mom-resentment. You know those thoughts that creep in and tell you how you could do this or that if you didn’t have a house full of kids… or one kid.

I know, I know it doesn’t feel right when we think those thoughts or even when I just talked about them but all moms think them from time to time.

But here’s what happens when you give consistent time for you… all you. The resentment fades, you feel more fulfilled as a person outside of being a mom, and you actually feel more tuned in to your kid’s needs.

We need to be filled up so we can be adequately poured out for our families. And that’s what happens in those quiet, early hours.

3 Easy Steps to Start Waking Up Before Your Kids

Before we dive into these super practical steps to waking up before your kids. I need to share the absolute importance of you knowing your “why” intimately.

After you start you’ll want to quit this new wake up time many, many times down the road. And when that spirit of quit jumps all over you in your comfy bed, you need to know why you want to wake up so early in the first place.

Is it to have some quiet time to connect with God and study your Bible to grow stronger spiritually?

Is it to have consistent uninterrupted time to write or work on your business?

Is it to work out and lose 50 lbs and stay healthy and active?

Is it to drink a cup of coffee and stare out the window in the blessed quiet for 15 minutes before your crew wakes up?

It doesn’t matter what your reason… that belongs to you alone. And your reason doesn’t have to be super significant in the eyes of the world… only you.

Without trying to sound like a cliche hair dye commercial… you are worth it!

Just know your “why” and get started. Here are the easy 3 steps that any mom can start right now.

Step 1 – Roll Back No More Than One Hour

If you’re an overachiever like myself, you may be tempted to roll back your clock at least a couple hours. DO NOT DO THAT… yet.

Roll back your clock by 30 minutes increments if you’re really not a morning person or one hour if you really feel you’re ready. But no more until you’ve been waking up at this new time for at least 3 months.

Shocking your body into a drastically early wake-up time can cause your body to revolt and we don’t need your mind and body plotting against your new goals! Slow change is lasting change.

And be sure to get to bed early enough to not loose your recommended hours of sleep!

Step 2 – Gracefully Reset Every Time You Sleep In

This process really isn’t as hard as you may think. The biggest obstacle to lasting change is failure. Failure to get out of bed!

You WILL hit snooze, cover your head with your pillow, or throw your clock across the room some mornings. Especially, if the baby was sick or your toddler starts hating their bed for the 100th time this year.

#MomLife is full of sleep stealers so when you just can’t get up, cut yourself a much-needed break. Don’t let frustration linger and reset tomorrow.

And repeat this process as long as needed.

3 – Play Hide and Seek with Your Alarm

This final step is one I actually had to add into my wake up routine when I started snoozing my phone in my sleep repeatedly. I’m so sneaky in my sleep!

I would wake up so frustrated because I felt like I had no control. Until I decided to be sneaky with myself!

I would lay my phone in different places that required me to get up and move to turn it off. It worked like a champ!

What To Do When You Can’t

You may be reading this and for some reason, you can’t wake up early or you feel like staying up late would work better for you.

Let me be super upfront here, this post isn’t to put pressure on moms who are already doing too much. Or the mom who just had a baby and now is feeling guilty that she’s too exhausted to try this new goal… yet.

Here’s one mom’s honest story of why she doesn’t wake up before her kids.

This is for the mom who is ready and wants to stretch herself in a new way but needs a little push and a whole lot of support and inspiration.

And finally, if you are a classic night owl then honestly do what works for you. I used to stay up late when I was younger and it worked fine for me.

Productivity studies actually show that people are more productive at the times they “think” they are most productive. Mind over matter, I guess.

The whole point of this article is to help you find time for you. And anyway you get it is a win in my book!


Have you already been waking up early? What’s your best early rise tip? Or your biggest early rise question? Share in the comments below.

 

How to easily wake up before your kids and the 7 powerful effects that happen! Three simple steps to get you started! #momlife

Waking up before your kids has many life-changing benefits. Here are 3 simple steps to start waking up before your kids. #kidsandparenting #momlife #motherhood
Even as a tired mom, there are amazing benefits to waking up even just 15 minutes before your kids. These will surprise you! #momlife #parenting

4 Things You Must Do When Motherhood is Kicking Your Butt!

What to do when motherhood is hard

Is motherhood kickin your butt? Do you spend your days second-guessing your decisions and feeling like you’ll never get this mom thing right?

Let me ask you another question – How do we as moms decide what was a good “mom day” versus a bad one? Is it when everything goes as we planned? Is it when no major catastrophes happened that day? What about when your to-do list actually gets done? What about if we “feel” like a good mom? Hmmm.

Or if all your kids listened and obeyed the first time all day? Oops sorry, that last one was part of a fairy tale. My apologies. 😉

The point is, how do we know if we’re doing a good job at this mom thing? I believe the answer is we need to learn how to set realistic expectations for motherhood.

What to do when motherhood is hard

This is especially true in our massively social media driven world where all moms seem to want to share is their highlight reel. I’m guilty of this too. I mean who wants to air their dirty laundry or dishes for the world to see?

But, I’ve got news for you. ALL moms have messy floors, dirty dishes, kids that talk back and disobey, and a to-do list a mile long that never seems to get done. Oh, and are plagued by this nagging feeling that you’re screwing up your kids. YOU’RE NOT ALONE. Here’s my post on Instagram where I get a little real on the topic. 😉

Messy Living Room on Instagram

Related: 51 Ways to be a Fun Mom even when you’re stressed and tired!

As moms, we’re a lot more alike than we think. Sure, we may have majorly different parenting styles and world-views but we love our children and work really hard to make sure they get their best chance in life.

That’s why we need to cut ourselves a little slack and begin to see motherhood from a different, better angle. I’m not necessarily proud to say this but most of the time when I’m struggling with anything in my life 9 times out of 10 I’m looking at it the wrong way.

Pessimism runs in my blood. I have to fight against seeing the negative side of things on a daily basis. And my motherhood struggles are no exception. And just so you know, I didn’t just write that to say that your struggles are all in your head and you just need to think more positively and everything will get better.

I merely want to point out that even when problems and struggles are so very real, having a healthy perspective and doing healthy activities go such a long way in helping us heal our way through those issues.

I used to suffer for months on end with depression and never told anyone. I just listened to my self-condemning thoughts and never did any of the things I’m sharing with you on this list. Instead, I allowed those thoughts to permeate my heart and make me feel hopeless.

I want you to know that simply by reading this, you’re an amazing mom. You care about your kids and your own wellness. And I want to encourage you, from the mom who always thought the worst of herself, that you don’t have to live in that place!

Keep reading and find your freedom.

Here are 4 things to need to do right now when motherhood is kickin your butt!

Related: Why Putting Yourself First Makes You a Much Better Mom!

Momlife Made Simple Email course

1 – Think Like Your Kids

Kids naturally think of themselves first, and their number one priority 99% of the time is doing something that brings them joy. In other words, a kid’s gotta have fun, right!

So why not take on that same philosophy yourself? Especially, when #momlife is kicking your butt! Take time to drop all the mom stuff, responsibilities, and burdens. And just do what makes you happy and brings you joy. That could be reading a great book. This book is a must-read when you’re feeling the mom-blues. It helped me work out some major issues I was feeling in my mom life. If reading isn’t your thing, it doesn’t really matter what you do as long as you feel filled while doing it.

Related: Why All Moms Need to be Intentional With a Regular Self Care Routine 

I would also highly recommend spending fun time with your kids. I know at first glance this may seem a little counter-intuitive because we’re talking about motherhood kicking your butt. However, if the kids are driving you crazy it may be because they’re actually craving your attention. Not just your shared space in the room attention but your all-eyes-on-me, doing total fun stuff attention.

And you need this fun kid time too. The reason we struggle to sometimes enjoy just hanging out with our kids is we feel the pressure of #AllTheThings that need to be done and are piling up. I totally get it! But making real connections with your family is one of the best things you can do to reset your mom rut and start enjoying motherhood again. Need some ideas? I’ve got you covered here!

Here’s my favorite subscription service that my kids are obsessed with and makes fun time super interactive and educational. I highly recommend you check it out for yourself!

2 – Drop Perfection

No mom is perfect and we all have good stuff and not so good stuff, but we were made for our kids and they’re made for us. I believe birth is a divine appointment, and we’re all created by a loving God. With this in mind, I firmly believe that we don’t just have random kids. Sometimes it can feel like we do, though. Lol

Our children are given to us. Children that we’re already equipped to raise and understand even if it doesn’t seem that way. Trying to be perfect and making no mistakes is a total setup for epic failure.

In fact, perfection is really an illusion like a mirage in the desert. It tempts us to keep chasing it, but the truth is, it’s not real. We were created to simply be us. That’s it. Learn to be OK with your unique personality and parenting style. And stop comparing yourself to other moms.  Your kiddos need YOU!

Related:4 Surprising Signs You’re a Burnt Out Mom and How to Bounce Back Quickly!

3 – Say No to Mom-guilt 

Another powerful way to set realistic expectations as a mom is to say no to mom-guilt. Yes, you can get rid of mom-guilt. Well, mostly, because having that guilty feeling is just par for the course for moms because the real source of mom-guilt is the love you have for your child. If you didn’t have that, why would you ever feel guilty?

The thing we must remember is we have grace. God’s grace causes things to work out well even if we’ve messed up big time. That same grace is there to help us move beyond our mistakes so we can move forward without heavy guilt baggage.

And guilt is a toxic emotion meant to stop you in your tracks and have you #InYourFeelings for far too long.

Related: The Truth about Mom Guilt and How to Get Rid of it Forever!

4 – Get Refocused on Your Why

After you’ve had a few kids, it becomes harder to remember why you wanted to have a family in the first place. To remember those visions you had of becoming a mother and what you wanted to accomplish.

My husband and I struggled with infertility issues so it took us almost 5 years before we got pregnant with our first child. The last few years before I got pregnant were agony. Every single month, 12 of them to be exact, brought extreme heartache.

It also was a season of vision, as I could see nothing but my baby for years before she came. We longed to finally meet her. In that time of waiting, I never thought of the mistakes I’d make or the frustrations I’d later feel raising a pre-teen daughter.

I only focused on loving her with all my heart and providing her with her absolute best chance in this life.

So, when motherhood feels hard and is really kicking my butt, I can simply refocus and remember that I’m doing just fine as long as I’m loving my kids with all my heart and still working to give them the best I can give.

You Are Doing the Best Work

Let’s all be honest with ourselves for a moment. When was the last time you ended the day with a positive thought about yourself as a mom? Do you even know your true value as a mom?

Motherhood is hands-down the hardest and yet most purposeful and fulfilling job anyone could ever ask for! We have a powerful and impactful ministry assignment to raise those little ones into who they were called to be. That’s a very big job and that’s partly why it’s so hard. That and the fact that those little ones are super messy, bossy, and generally all about themselves most days. 😉

I know that wiping running snotty noses, helping with homework, cooking, cleaning, driving kids EVERYWHERE, and breaking up sibling wrestling matches doesn’t feel very purposeful or fulfilling all the time. Just know, that all moms struggle with that stuff.

And whether you feel like it or not, motherhood is a calling. And all the biggest callings come with the biggest sacrifices. But I also firmly believe we ALL have the grace to do what we’re called to. You have the grace to be a wonderful mother… oh and a joyful mom too!

Go ahead and lift up another mom and share this post to all the moms you know. And together we can lay down perfection or guilt and embrace US.

Leave a comment below and bravely share how you’re going to embrace YOU.

Motherhood is hard and can be totally overwhelming. These tips will help you find the joy in the difficult seasons of motherhood. #kidsandparenting #parenting #motherhood #momadvice #MomMotherhood is hard but when you feel totally overwhelmed and exhausted there is HELP! These 4 simple things will lift your mindset and make you see you're a great mom! #kidsandparenting #parenting

Feeling like you suck as a mom? We all do some days. You need to start doing these 4 things right now when your mom life is kicking your butt! #motherhood #momlife #parentingstruggles

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7 TED Talks for Moms To Break Free from the Mom Guilt and Rock Your MomLife!

TED Talks for motherhood

Becoming a mother is probably one of the most transforming seasons of a woman’s life. It comes with it insecurities about whether we’ll ever be good enough, the judgments and opinions of everyone around us, and the daring responsibility of caring for another life.

TED Talks for motherhood

It also brings the unrelenting love and bond of a sweet blessing that no words could adequately describe.

Motherhood is full of amazing surprises and devastating valleys but one thing is true… motherhood is a privilege. And certainly a title we should be grateful for.

These TED Talks are powerful and will empower you in your best role as a mom. Watch these and be reassured that you already are a wonderful mom right now!

Related: Learning to Fully Embrace the True Value of Being a Mom!

7 TED Talks for Moms

It’s time to unmask the lies of motherhood

Every single mother is struggling with guilt and so many are hiding behind a mask. A mask that says, “I’m fine” even when we’re clearly not. Even when they’re struggling.

The truth is, we’re all competing with ourselves and our own unrealistic expectations. It’s time to remove the false mask we’ve been wearing and love ourselves enough to admit that motherhood is hard and that’s ok.

We should put more energy into supporting each other instead of shaming and judging other moms and ourselves.

Related: The Truth About Mom Guilt and 4 Steps to Get Rid of it Forever

Overcoming the loneliness and overwhelm in motherhood

So many moms are still struggling with the overwhelming demands of being a mom and have no idea how lonely they really are.

We feel the pressure to be perfect and do it all “well” but fail to realize we don’t have to do it all on our own. We need our community. We need friends and support and the need to be connected.

It’s not good for our own emotional well being to continue going through the motions of work life and mom life without quality connections with friendships with other women and moms.

Related: Super Easy Ways to Feel More Intentional, Connected & Fulfilled in Your Life

Why we need to ignore the judgments of others and mom shamers

Being a mom is really hard because we are judged and even shamed for every decision we make. The looks and stares we get when we choose to breastfeed in public. Or the looks we get from other moms when we shake up a bottle of formula for our new baby.

Motherhood gets a little easier when we decide to ditch the mom guilt and raise our children in the best way we know how. When we decide to be confident in our own parenting choices and support the other moms in our lives.

Related: Why Putting Yourself First Makes you a Much Better Mom

A new way we should be thinking about the transition to motherhood

When a woman gets pregnant, she goes on a massive roller coaster of emotions, hormonal changes, and fear we’ve only encountered since puberty.

If you’ve ever struggled with not feeling adequate as a mom you need to watch this talk. You and I are not alone and are navigating a totally normal phase of life for us as women.

Related: 51 Ways to be a Fun Mom Even When You’re Stressed or Tired

Parenting rooted in kindness versus the expectations we create for our kids

We all have expectations on how our children should look and behave. Many of these expectations are actually fueled by the expectations of others and society.

We can instead, choose to raise our kids through kindness and compassion and build a solid relationship and lasting memories with our amazing children.

Related: 60 Fun Questions to Ask to Get to Know Your Child’s Heart

Here’s our permission to stop overparenting our kids

We all love our kids and want to help them achieve their best in life. But in all our effort, we can inadvertently hurt their ability to develop self-efficacy. And the good news is, our child’s success in life is not our job alone.

So the pressure’s off! Motherhood just got easier.

Children desperately need us to be there for them but not to make every decision in their life. We are there to inspire them to discover and follow their own unique path.

This is one of my favorite parenting related TED Talks. You’ll feel relieved after watching this.

Related: 9 Things Your Kid Really Needs But Doesn’t Know how to Tell You

A moving tribute to a mom’s greatest gift – mother’s intuition

I personally have experienced countless moments of mother’s intuition. I remember when my son was just three days old and we had been discharged from the hospital.

When we got home, I noticed that his eyes had a yellow tint and so did his skin. I called the pediatrician right away and was told that he didn’t appear to be Jaundiced in the hospital so it was likely nothing.

I felt led strongly to take him to the ER anyway. Even as we were being checked in, the nurses commented that he didn’t appear Jaundiced either. But I persisted that he be seen by a Doctor.

Once he was seen, the doctor also agreed that he had minimal yellowing but took his blood anyway. When the results came back, his levels were dangerously high and he was immediately rushed upstairs to be admitted.

We had to stay in the hospital for four more days. It was scary but I’m so thankful that God has given parents a special intuition to know when we should push a little further. It’s a gift!

This mother’s own story is a beautiful tribute to the divine workings of a loving God working in and through our lives as mothers.

These TED Talks are so encouraging and are proof that we are all in this together. That your struggles are likely my struggles too.

Share in the comments below which talk meant the most to you as a mom!

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The Secret to Avoiding the Harsh Reality of Mom Burnout

The secret to avoiding mom burnout

Have you ever experienced mom burnout? Wait… you’re a mom, so of course, you have! And you know exactly how frustrating, depressed, and debilitating it can be. I believe mommy burnout is harder than any other type of burnout.

The secret to avoiding mom burnout

When you have work burnout, you can take a day off, request vacation time, or at the very least you get to go home every night. As a mom, you don’t get days off, there are no vacations from motherhood, and #momlife is always waiting for you when you get home!

We’re not talking about hating motherhood or not loving the blessing of being a mom. We’re talking about the harsh reality of something that sneaks up on every single mom at some point… mom burnout.

The Anatomy of a Burned Out Mom

Moms who are feeling the burnout are most certainly exhausted. Not just the normal, running after kids all day tired, but flat-out exhaustion. They are also likely to feel unmotivated or depressed.

Basically, you’re only motivation is to stay under the covers and sleep ALL DAY. There’s just one problem with that… you’re a mom and you can’t. And this leads to feelings of frustration because you no longer own your day – or your life for that matter.

You see how the negative emotions can snowball out of control creating an avalanche of feelings headed right for your home and family? Sadly, they’ll probably get plowed with this avalanche and won’t even see it coming.

And I think we can both agree that they don’t deserve that!

Moms who suffer from mom burnout don’t resent their kids, they’ve just misplaced one important thing on their priority list… THEMSELVES.

Related: 4 Surprising Signs You’re a Burned Out Mom and How to Bounce Back Quickly

The Cure for Mom Burnout

Motherhood requires tremendous sacrifice every single day. Sacrifices we’re all too happy to give, until we’ve given everything we have and there’s nothing left.

You can’t keep pouring out of an empty vessel and expecting something to pour out. It doesn’t work that way! You have to pour in to be able to pour out. Otherwise, you’re just dry and grouchy and nobody likes that.

The first step to getting out of mommy burn out is to understand that being burned out doesn’t make you a bad mom. That’s just the inner dialog that happens when you’re in burn out mode. Stop believing the lie that really “good” moms love their kids so much that they never go through this.

That’s just not true. All moms feel overwhelmed by motherhood at some point. And this most likely occurs because we don’t expect it and simply don’t guard against it.

We just keep going at the same break-neck speed and never stop to check on that weird sound under the hood until we find ourselves calling AAA from the roadside.

Related: 4 Things You Must Do When Motherhood is Kicking Your Butt!

The cure for mommy burnout is to listen carefully to what we need and create an intentional plan to fulfill that need. Therefore, curing burnout is going to look different for every mom.

Simple Ways to To Avoid Mommy Burn Out

Here are some ways you can enjoy your life more and really avoid mommy burnout… or at least make those moments few and far between!

Drop Perfection and Mom-Guilt

I really felt it was necessary to lead with the choice to stop chasing the illusion of perfection and letting mom-guilt make you feel like a crappy mom. I’m guilty of falling into these traps all the time and so are many other moms. But we have to make a choice to stop.

It’s hard when we’re bored and decide to jump on Instagram and scroll through to see all the other moms with their perfectly posed and super clean children. And you think to yourself, “how come my kids don’t look like that?”

And you glance at their superwhite house and can’t find a grape juice stain anywhere. And then you look in your living room and… you see at least one grape juice stain on the couch right next to you.

Then you’re left feeling like there’s something wrong with you. And I’m here to tell you there isn’t! Simply the fact that you’re reading this tells me a whole lot… that you care about how to raise your kids and want to be the best mom you can be.

So right now I want you to acknowledge that you’re a good mom… as a matter of fact let’s say it out loud right now. I AM A GOOD MOM! And keep saying it every day until you start believing it.

And when that voice starts telling you that you’re not… keeping speaking over that voice until you can’t hear it anymore.

Related: The Truth about Mom Guilt and How to Stop it from Running Your Life

Find and Schedule What You Love

This is more than the typical “me-time” where you go get your nails done. I want you to dig deep if you need to and find something you really love. Something that when you’re doing it, really brings you a sense of peace and joy in your life.

It could be gardening, reading, painting, running, or writing. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as you intentionally decide to devote scheduled time to do it… alone and without the kids if possible.

Here’s the hard part, some of you might not even know what that thing is. This was me for so many years. I never took the time to nurture what I loved before kids, so naturally, that got buried and forgotten over time. Anytime I did have free time to myself, I had no idea what to do!

So, I’d do things like binge-watch a show on Netflix or go shopping. I’d use my precious alone time to do mindless things that didn’t fill me up. So I stayed empty.

If you don’t know what you love, try remembering the things you loved when you were younger. Chances are, they’ll still bring you joy. You can also step out and discover new things. Like taking a dancing class or an art class. And remember that you don’t actually have to be “good” or talented at any of these things. They just need to bring you joy!

Once you find something you love, make time for it. Put it on the schedule, find a babysitter or leave the kids with your husband, and go out and do it. If you love reading, you can go read a great book in a comfy chair at a coffee shop. It’s great to get out instead of staying in the same environment but it isn’t absolutely necessary.

Don’t stress out if you can’t get a break from the kids. This is so real for many moms. Remember, it’s not the kids that are the source of the burnout. It’s the absence of you giving yourself what you need. And if you can’t find a real person babysitter, I find that Netflix works just fine!

Related: 27 Super Easy Ways to Pursue Your Passion as a Crazy Busy Mom

Make Activity a Priority

Staying active is extremely important in fighting off burn out! Yes, I’m talking about exercise but I’m also talking about getting up and moving around all throughout the day.

Sudden bursts of activity release our happy hormones in the brain and we need lots of those firing to ward off the dreaded burnout mode!

My biggest piece of advice would be to have a regular and consistent exercise routine every day, or at least 3-4 times per week. Thirty minutes of high to moderate activity every day goes a very long way in creating lasting energy for your day.

Several years ago I was struggling with depression and brought up the issue with my Doctor. The first thing she asked me was if I was exercising every day. I wasn’t, and she said before she ever starts down the path of medication (which I wasn’t looking for anyway) she recommends women start a consistent exercise routine.

She said that exercise is one of the leading and most effective, non-medicated treatments for depression. I took her up on that recommendation and the depression, exhaustion, and extra back-fat disappeared. Nice trade off if I do say so!

Look, I’m no different than anyone else and I’ve fallen off the workout wagon a million times! The key is to make it stupid simple and ditch the over the top ideas in the beginning. And the best part is, working out can be done as a fun activity to do with your kids. You can check out simple tips for staying active and working out with kids here.

Stop Trying to be Super Mom

As women, we’re often wired to be people pleasers and have issues with saying no. And even if you don’t have People-Pleasing Syndrome, chances are, you still feel the pressure to do #AllTheThings all the time.

We don’t like failing, falling behind, or looking like we can’t handle something. So, we push ahead despite the need to slow down and say no. Honestly, it’s OK and not a sign of weakness to say no. It’s actually a sign of strength to do an honest assessment of where you are and what you can realistically handle right now.

My best advice would be to save your energy and time for the things that really matter and will last long after the action taken. Only you know what those are for you.

Before saying yes to anything, practice taking a moment to think about it and really consider it before making a decision. Sometimes taking a minute means checking your calendar, but even if you don’t have any scheduling conflicts you’re not obligated to say yes.

Finally, we want to be at our best and available for our kids whenever possible. When you’re overloaded with obligations and your kid comes home and asks you to bake your winning brownies for the class party you want to be able to easily say yes… even when you don’t feel like baking.

Related: 6 Surefire Ways to Ditch Overwhelm and be More Productive Today

Take a Break and Breathe

When overwhelm does get the best of you and you’re feeling extra cranky and exhausted, make a decision to take a break and breathe. If you can take a break from the kids or take a mental health day off from work that’s great.

But even if you can’t totally disconnect, take a break from anything that’s non-essential.

That means volunteering at your kid’s school, taking a pause on extra projects or activities you’ve picked up, and even relaxing on the housework a bit.

This time is great to rest your mind, rest your body, pray, and release the pressure that’s been building.

Following the simple tips above will really help set you up for avoiding mom burnout before it has a chance to wreak havoc in your life and family.

How do you take good care of yourself? Go ahead and share your best tips in the comments below!

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4 Surprising Signs You’re a Burnt Out Mom and How to Bounce Back Quickly!

Motherhood struggles are real! And too many moms are exhausted, snappy, and prone to yell because they are simply burnt out. Get the simple step to bouncing back quickly from burnout! #joy #Momstruggles #parenting #motherhood #momlife

If someone calls you mommy, chances are, you know exactly what it means to be a burnt out mom, one time or another.

Sadly, it happens to moms way more than it should.

So why do moms find themselves trapped in burnout mode so often?

I believe Mommy Burnout happens because we care too much.

Motherhood struggles are real! And too many moms are exhausted, snappy, and prone to yell because they are simply burnt out. Get the simple step to bouncing back quickly from burnout! #joy #Momstruggles #parenting #motherhood #momlife

We care too much about how well we take care of and love our children.

We care too much about not making mistakes and failing as a mom.

We care too much about getting it all done.

The Root of Mommy Burn Out

And all that care isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it’s birthed out of the love we have for our family. But there is a warning in Scripture that clearly tells us not to be “Care-FULL” or anxious for anything.

That’s because all that “care” wears away our peace and joy and leads us straight into the dry valley of mom-guilt.

And I’ve wandered aimlessly in that place for far too long!

And let’s face it, even on a good day, motherhood is tough! It’s also wonderful… but still really hard.

That’s why moms can hit the burnout wall in a nanosecond.

We don’t need to walk around like Mombies… just trying to make it through each day.



There’s a better way!

So, let’s break this down…

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4 surprising signs you might be a Burnt out Mom

Here are four signs that you might be experiencing or headed for Mommy Burnout Mode also known as Survival Mode and some real-life tips on how to get out.

Sign #1 – You have more than the occasional yelling blow-up at your kids

We’ve all been there… As you’re navigating your way through little-people-chaos, you’re running super late for an appointment and as you’re rushing everyone out the door – one of them accidentally spills the milk that another one of your angels left out on the counter.

A setup for a mommy meltdown!

Now, there are times when that scenario would have totally frustrated me but everyone would have walked out unscathed.

But there are other days (help me Jesus!) that I could have alerted the entire neighborhood to our little debacle.

And I’ve come to learn that 9 times out of 10 when I go into full-on fit mode, it’s because I’m experiencing or headed for Mommy Burnout.

This is when I need to step back and try to see the situation for what it really is – spilled milk.

Stress is a magnifier and is how we can magically turn those molehills into ice-capped mountains!

And when I’m stressed about anything, I’m a whole lot more touchy than I would be otherwise.

So, instead of letting stressful situations fester, I’ve learned to deal with them quickly as best I can to keep them from affecting all the other areas of my life. Like my home life!

Sign #2 – Your house is in a constant state of disarray

Let me just say this… I’m not the mom who’s going to judge or shame another mom for the condition of her home. I have 3 kids, and one of them is a 2-year-old boy. Enough said there.

I just know from personal experience, when I’m burnt out, housework really gets the best of me. I feel like I’m always running behind the mess instead of controlling it.

Relate?

If you’ve totally abandoned your usually cleaning and tidying schedule… you may be in or headed for burnout.

My advice isn’t to run around and catch up on all the laundry hills. Nope!

It’s to take a day off from doing ALL cleaning. I know that probably sounds a little counterintuitive because we’re talking about how you haven’t been cleaning.

But trust, me it’s not! Whether or not you’ve actually been physically cleaning, I know you’ve been mentally cleaning.

Looking at all the mess and feeling overwhelmed.

Taking an intentional day off to mentally and physically rest will help you recharge so you can start off small tomorrow. #BabySteps

Sign #3 – You find yourself feeling lonely but fight against the urge to connect with friends/family

When we’re in Survival Mode and overwhelmed with life, it’s easy to get sucked into a cycle of isolation and depression. We tell ourselves – no one else is going through what I’m going through.

We let the shame of our situation keep us on an island with no one to talk to but our own critical voice. And that’s the worst voice we can hear when we’re vulnerable and depressed.

Reaching out to a friend and being honest about where you are is extremely important.

You may be thinking, “I don’t really have any friends.”

No worries, a lot of women struggle with friendships after becoming a mother for A LOT of reasons. I know I did, and still do!

Reaching out and making the effort to connect is the first step. Without trying to sound cliche, if you start really looking for relationships – you’ll be surprised how they were there all along.

Sign #4 – Your health isn’t a priority in your daily actions

You may know your health is important; but your exercise, water, sleep, and good food simply aren’t happening. You find yourself snacking ALL DAY… and I’m not talking about carrot sticks and hummus!

You’re exhausted and your sleep is out of whack. You either sleep too much and never feel rested, or you’re dealing with insomnia. You’re not just tired but EXHAUSTED all. the. time.

We’ve all heard it – stress can cause many things to go crazy in our mind and bodies. So, it’s no surprise that we’d feel sluggish and rundown when we’re headed for burnout.

But when we outright abandon the healthy habits we know we should be doing, we’re only making the problem bigger.

A healthy lifestyle is the fuel you need to keep going strong.

So, make a commitment to reconnect with the healthy habits that slipped away. No condemnation! Just get back on the horse. Call that friend and get an accountability partner.

In addition to healthy eating, sleeping, and exercising – having a regular check-up with our doctor is NECESSARY!

Especially the older, and more fabulous we get. 😉

**If you’re not feeling great physically, get it checked out just to be sure there’s not a medical reason for your exhaustion.**

How to Bounce Back Fast!

You are simply too precious to your family, and to this world to allow yourself to live in full-on Burnout Mommy Mode!

The source of most feelings of burn out stem from stress, anxiety, or mom-guilt.

In order to fully release those feelings – the Bible tells us to cast the whole of that CARE onto Christ who cares for us affectionately.

We can rest in the #Truth that we have a Savior who loves us and cares about every moment and area of our lives.

When life gets crazy, we are commanded to release our concern to the One who can work it out.

And that requires us to tap into something else – FAITH.

Sometimes just knowing we’re not alone is comfort enough.

And we’ve ALL been there!

We also need to identify the source of the burnout. Are you doing too much all at once? Are you trying to combine your work at home activities with the kids busy time (I did this one a lot and it’s a disaster!)? Are you ignoring your health?

When you understand the source, you can then objectively take a step back and see what needs to be changed.

Here are some other practical things you can do to quickly ease the mommy burn out and get you back to your place of peace.

Take a Break

I mentioned this earlier in reference to your housework. But when I say take a break here, I mean stop “fixing” everything and just relax. I know that’s easier said than done, but I know if you can figure everything else out with such mommy Macgyver magic, I know you can find a way to give yourself a break.

That means for a day leave the dishes, don’t give the kids a bath, grab takeout for dinner, and put the kids to bed early. Now I get that you’ve been in burnout and may have already been doing all those things. I get it! But this time you’re making the choice to do it, not as an act of defeat but as an act of rest. There is a difference!

Related: How to Easy Start Your Own Quiet Time Routine and Why You Need One

Ask for Help

Of all the things on this list, this one may be the hardest… at least it is for me! But I’ve grown to understand how important relying on your support system really is. There was a time when I would NEVER ask for help. I think that’s sad and I hope you don’t do the same. We all need help in every area of our lives and our #Momlife is no exception.

Help can come in many forms such as ordering your groceries online through a service like Amazon Fresh instead of dragging the kids into the Temple of Doom AKA Wal-Mart. Or that help could be dropping the kids off at a trusted friend or family member for a day… or two.

Start Working Your Passion

One of the reasons I was feeling burnt out a few years back is because I was doing things for everyone else… taking care of my husband and kids, working an unfulfilling job to pay bills, and any other thing I “needed” to do. In my heart, I had a passion to write and connect with other moms but I had TERRIBLE confidence issues and simply didn’t think I had the time to do anything else.

Very long story short, I decided to put my passion on my daily schedule and over time a new life was born… seriously. This blog and so many other things I’m doing today were born out of that decision. And burn out for me was dramatically decreased because passion has a way of inspiring you to move forward every day in a new exciting way.

Related: 5 Ways to Make Your Dreams a Priority When You’re Overwhelmed With Life

Give Yourself Permission

Finally, I want to urge you to give yourself a healthy dose of grace and also permission to be imperfect. You are a mom so that means you’re already doing more than most! It’s just a fact. So acknowledge that motherhood is hard – not just for you – but for ALL moms… including me. And that’s par for the course when raising strong-willed, opinionated, tiny humans.

The simple fact that you’re reading this post tells me you’re an awesome mom! So give yourself a pat on the back, a fist bump, and a big hug. You got this! If you’re looking for more solutions to getting back on track and making your #MomLife more simple, check out my #MomLife Systems Made Simple Email Course. It’s Free!! Grab your spot here!

When was the last time you were in Burnout Mommy Mode and how did you get out?

Leave a comment below, so we can all encourage each other!

Motherhood is hard and moms can find themselves in burnout mode fast! Get the tips to easily get rid of mom guilt and mommy burnout for good! #momadvice #motherhood #momlife

The mom burnout struggle is real! Stop suffering in silence and get the secret to bouncing back quickly! #momadvice #parenting

 

 

Feeling burnt out as a mom? We've all been there but you don't have to stay there! These tips will have you finding the joy in motherhood again! #kidsandparenting #parenting #momadvice #momlifeMommy burnout is so very real! Here's how to spot it and stop it from running your life! #momadvice #momlife #kidsandparenting #parentingBeing a mom is hard... and getting burned out is very easy. Here are surprising signs you might be a burned out mom and how to quickly bounce back! #kidsandparenting #momlife #motherhood #parenting

Get 4 simple ways to recover quickly from mom burnout and find yourself again! #motherhood #Momlife #parentingadvice Motherhood struggles are real! And too many moms are exhausted, snappy, and prone to yell because they are simply burnt out. Get the simple step to bouncing back quickly from burnout! #joy #Momstruggles #parenting #motherhood #momlife

4 Habits to Guard Your Family From a Life of Complacency

How to guard your family from complacency

Let’s face it, our world is a little crazy – too busy, too loud, and too connected. Now more than ever! Most of us are bombarded with stressful “opportunities” every single day whether we like it or not. We’re all going, going, going; and need somewhere safe to just stop.

And our home (our family) is supposed to be that place. Our place to quiet our minds, rest our bodies, re-energize, and connect with those we really care about.

How to guard your family from complacency

But with divorce rates over half, the home isn’t always what it was intended to be. Many spouses are working late as an excuse to avoid the fight waiting at home. And kids are picking up more activities after school to escape all the tension… just a little longer.

For many families, the home has become an all-out war zone. But it doesn’t have to be that way. And the truth is, we’re all just a few bad decisions away from it ourselves.

Why is Complacency is Bad Thing?

Complacency is dangerous for families because of its subtle nature. It seems harmless.

It’s definition even sounds innocent enough: a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like.

When we’re complacent, we step into a zone of vulnerability. And I don’t mean the good kind of vulnerability where we allow ourselves to be opened up to new experiences and share our inner secrets with the outside world. Not the Daring Greatly kind of vulnerability!

I’m talking about the vulnerability that a war general would see as a weakness or an open spot for the enemy to come trooping in and attack.

Complacency is simply the feeling that it’s all good in my house. Or there’s no problem in my marriage. Or I have a great relationship with my kids.

It’s not that we should run around alarmed or looking for an attack, but we shouldn’t be passive either.

Yes, it might be “all good” but that doesn’t mean we get to just recline in our quiet pleasure with our hands crossed behind our heads and our hat resting over our faces.

Anything worth having is worth working for. And our family is worth working for.

What do I mean by “working for?”

It means to be actively and continuously looking for ways to be intentional about the relationships in your home. It’s just too easy to let them slip into average.

Related: 2 Strong Enemies of a Healthy Marriage

Complacency Leads to Discontentment

I know this from experiencing it myself. My husband and I have been married for 14 years and dated for almost 5 years before that. We started our relationship as young best friends and haven’t been apart from each other for more than 2 weeks collectively over all that time!

We’ve always been extremely close – still are. But as we grew together and after our first two children, I began to become complacent in my marriage. Simply put, I took my marriage for granted. I was lounging in my quiet pleasure and security.

Though my husband wanted to do more together – without the kids – I didn’t think it was that deep. After all, we had a great relationship. It’s not like we were “working” on anything. Know what I mean?

But over the years, the complacency transformed into discontentment. And I wasn’t as excited about #TeamUs anymore. I wasn’t where he was.

After praying about it, God showed me that we both contributed to this point in our lives by not making the happiness and joy in our marriage a priority. Honestly, we didn’t think we had to. We thought we were just “that good.”

But none of us are. Joy comes as a result of consistent and intentional actions. Isn’t your marriage worth it? I know mine is. And I’m so grateful that we saw our fault and were able to fix it are still working on it. We should never stop working. We never get “fixed”.

Having intentional happiness in your family isn’t necessarily hard work. But it is work. And it’s so worth it. After all, you love each other, right?!?

But you as a team, have to decide to go for the big guns and not settle for the average home life… Let’s live a higher quality of life!

Related: How to Reverse the 4 Mindsets that are Stealing Your Enjoyable Life

Here are 4 easy habits for you and your family to implement that’ll help exchange the complacency for happiness, joy, and peace in your marriage and your relationship with your kids. Don’t ever settle for average again:

Habit #1:  Have “eyes only on you” time with each member of your family – every day.

Tricia Goyer shared this from her book Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom. It was so simple yet profound. But it does require endurance on your part. And it’s an investment of your time, depending on how many children you have! Yet, it’s time well spent.

If your spouse and your children each have your undivided “eyes only” attention each day, it sends a powerful message to them – YOU Matter. And there’s no revelation more powerful than that. Start out small with 10 minutes for each person, each day. And then work your way up as you develop discipline in this habit.

Related: 9 Things Your Kid Wishes You’d Do But Doesn’t Know How to Tell You

Habit #2:  Designate “unplugged” time for your family as a whole.

I know my family is guilty of being too plugged-in. But making deliberate time to look up from the screen and actually see each other is precious time spent. I’m not a fan of telling people how to spend their unplugged time because every family is unique and flows differently. But here’s a few suggestions:

  • Take a walk together after dinner – or even in the morning. Great for the lazy summer.
  • Have family reading time. You can all read your own books or read one aloud as a group.
  • Eat dinner together. This is a popular one but doesn’t always work for every family.
  • Play games. And this one, I’ll make an exception on the electronics. Game systems today are a great way to bring everyone together, as long as you’re all playing one game together.
  • Do a daily family devotion time.
  • Put a giant puzzle together.
  • Do a project together. This one is excellent for developing leadership skills in your kids.

Related: 2 Fool-Proof Strategies to Create More Joy in Your Home

Habit #3:  Have an Open Door/No Freak Out policy.

This is so important at every age and stage with your children and even your spouse. They need to know that no matter what they bring to you… you can handle it.

I remember my mom being somewhat of a “Freak Out” mom, whenever I told her shocking things.  Ummm, it’s probably because they were shocking… but moving right along.

I honestly, held back way more than I should have because I was afraid of her response.

We always want our children to come to us first with any and everything they’re dealing with. Don’t open the back door exit for them to go out and get advice from God knows who. You also want the opportunity to give wisdom to your child the way you want them to receive it.

So keep a pillow close by and when the conversation’s over, slam it over your face and go to town with a good scream, cry, or even a laugh! Just don’t let them hear you.

And you may be asking yourself how this applies to getting rid of complacency in your family. It’s simply creating an environment of safe and open communication that gets the conversation going – which is what’s lacking in today’s families. And as a parent, your older child and teenager will bring things to your attention that you’ll be thanking God they did because in the hands of another person, who knows where that conversation can lead if left in the hands of another kid. Plus, all this conversation is sure to keep you on your toes!

If you find yourself in a moment of conflict ask yourself these 21 questions before letting the conflict grow!

Habit #4:  Plan family vacations or stay-cations throughout the year.

We all have to manage a budget, so some of us can realistically afford only one vacation a year – if that. But regular time off throughout the year is vital for our health and our family’s. So if you can’t vacate, just stay-cate!

This is super easy with younger children because it doesn’t take much for them to get excited. My husband and I love the surprise approach. We just choose different activities like going to the beach, pool, park, movies, party, and don’t tell them until they get there.

Well actually, it’s a little hard to surprise them with the beach (bathing suits), but you get the point. They usually see where we pull into and start cheering as we get closer. I think it’s more fun for us than the kids.

Related: 19 Ingenious Ways to Save Money on Family Vacations and Entertainment

But when you have older kids and teenagers, I would suggest collaboration on the planning. They want to feel heard and appreciated. Let them brainstorm for ideas on how to spend your time off. You can even let them go online to research what’s going on in your city. Whatever you and your family choose will be great as long as everyone stays committed and connected throughout.

These are just some ways for you and your family to stay closely connected and avoid the subtle trap of complacency. In what ways have you fallen into the trap of complacency? How did you overcome it? Share your methods for keeping your family connected! Leave a comment below and share this post!

Related: 51 Ways to be a Fun Mom Even When You’re Stressed and Tired

Complacency is more dangerous to families than you may think! These simple habits will help you create more joy and connections in your family relationships today. #kidsandparenting #parenting #kids #family #homeComplacency is very subtle and is an enemy to your happy family. Learn how to effectively and easily guard your family from it! #kidsandparenting #familylife #parenting #momlife #kids

2 Fool-Proof Habits to Create More Joy in Your Home Today

2 Foolproof habits that create more joy in your home

Is joy flowing in your life and home on a regular basis? Or is frustration, conflict, or a general moodiness setting the tone in your home?

Joy is that elusive thing that we all want more of but don’t always understand how to walk-in outside of those happy, good-news moments in our life. But what if I told you that we don’t have to wait on the good stuff in life to make us happy?

2 Foolproof habits that create more joy in your home

That we could learn how to experience more joy on a daily basis regardless of what’s going on in our life. And not just experience it – but create more of it by practicing 2 seriously fool-proof habits.

Wouldn’t it be nice to “turn on” joy as we go about our day? Wouldn’t it be nice to teach joy to our children and practice in our families? That would lead to a better atmosphere at home, for sure. Don’t you think?

Joy is our strength.

And I don’t know about you, but I get overwhelmed and feel like quitting sometimes. I know now that it’s joy that helps me overcome tough seasons, and actually works like a hand that literally picks me up off the floor.

What? You’ve never dropped to the floor in an outright break-down during a tough moment? Guilty!

And I’ve learned that joy makes getting up and getting through, a whole lot easier.

And let me tell you something. Joy never came easy for me and is still an area that I need to watch on a daily basis. I have a tendency to get really intense and focused – with joy running behind like my 2 year old trying to catch up.

Habit # 1 – Choose Joy Over …

Joy isn’t the same as happiness. Happiness comes rushing in after positive and pleasurable circumstances. Like when you get a promotion or you get an unexpected check in the mail. That good feeling comes automatically without any thought.

But what happens when nothing good seems to be happening? When you’re experiencing what I like to call a valley-season where you feel vulnerable and exposed to the harsh elements of life; and all you can see is how far you’ve got to climb.

We all experience these valley-seasons and while they’re the right environment for us to grow and get stronger – they simply don’t feel good. What do we do then? How do we get out of the funk?

We make a decision. A decision to practice joy. That’s right you can practice joy because it doesn’t function like happiness. It’s not based on outward circumstances. Joy is a decision. You can choose joy over the disappointment, frustration, and negative thinking.

Related: How to Reverse the 4 Mindsets that are Stealing Your Enjoyable Life

Now, I totally get that in the midst of bad news, feelings of joy can seem nowhere in sight. And the thought of “doing” anything that produces positive feelings usually isn’t our go-to reaction. That’s because sulking or having an inner (or outward) tantrum feels good to our senses. We just need time to be in the moment.

Joy is a Decision

But if we get really honest with ourselves, we know that letting our emotions just run wild isn’t good for us. We know that when our toddler gets mad and proceeds to demonstrate his displeasure in the moment by screaming and hurling his toy across the room; we disapprove and quickly correct the behavior.

But when we are having our own tantrum – we all too often just “go with it.” There’s just one problem. A toddler’s memory of why he was mad in the first place is gone as quickly as it came. We, on the other hand, can hold onto negative feelings and emotions for hours, days, weeks, and even years in some cases.

So learning how to stop them in their tracks before they take hold is essential to cultivating joy in our family. Being about to call on, better yet maintain, joy through all our circumstances will serve us well. And teaching our children to do the same is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

So, how to we do it? By trusting that hard times don’t last forever. That you’re not merely figuring out your life on your own. When we truly surrender, we can trust that Jesus is already working everything out for your good. And this problem won’t last forever.

Related: 4 Surprising Signs You’re a Burnt Out Mom and How to Get Out

Take Action

Just because it doesn’t look or feel like it at the moment, you can send a message from your heart to your head that it’s going to be alright. How do you do that? By doing what you would do if you had your desired result standing right in front of you.

No, I’m not saying you should run around faking it. I’m saying that we need to apply some faith to our situations. Which means that you believe you already have what you’re believing to happen. And if you believe it – then your actions will line up with your belief.

When you see a chair, you usually just sit down without thinking about it. That’s because you believe it’s going to support you. Your belief, or faith, lined up with your action of sitting down in the chair. If you saw the chair and didn’t think it was going to support you; your action would be to stay standing.

If we believe that our situation won’t stay like this forever and that God’s love for us is never changing – we’ll act in accordance with that belief. Now, some problems are more “weighty” than others, and we’ll need to remind ourselves of what we believe frequently.

Related: The Power and Purpose of Practicing a Regular Quiet Time Routine

Habit #2 – Freely Give Grace

Another way to create more joy in our families is to extend grace to our self as well as our spouse and kids. When we extend grace, we’re sending the message that mistakes are OK. We all make them and it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

This doesn’t mean we disregard actions that need to be corrected, redirected, or punished. But grace helps us to deal with the action and still nurture the heart of the person.

How many times have you messed up and had a really hard time forgiving yourself? I know I have. But I’ve learned that if I can’t give myself permission to be human, then I won’t be able to do that for my family either. And when we’re all running around passing blame – joy gets trampled on.

Related: 21 Questions to Ask Yourself When Conflict Rises in Your Home

3 ways we can easily apply grace in our family

Giving grace isn’t always easy, but it is extremely effective in creating a happier home life. And I’ll add that’s it’s necessary.

We ALL need grace.

The following are 3 ways you can apply grace in your family.

Affirm more than we criticize or correct.

As parents and/or spouses, when we only open our mouths to points out how the bath towels didn’t get hung up, the beds didn’t get made,  how the socks are still laying on the floor beside the bed, and the only grade you mention in your child’s school folder is the one that fell below the others – that’s a BIG problem.

And it’s a major point of growth for me. And one that I need to constantly stay on top of when it comes to my kids and even sometimes my husband. I have a tendency to “point out” what’s not working right or not being done.

I’m learning how to affirm and encourage more which actually helps to motivate everyone in my house to do the things I told them to do in the first place! That’s because affirmation is a way more powerful leadership tool than criticism; which ends up wearing them down instead. With affirmation, your family will be built up emotionally and will enjoy their lives more.

Related: How to Speak Life and Encourage Your Children to Be Their Best

Eliminate the pursuit of perfection

When we expect perfection from ourselves and our children, we’re setting our family up for failure. That’s because perfection is an illusion that can’t be realized. It’s a chase that you’ll never catch up to.

And in the process, you’ll cause yourself and your children to feel like you can never measure up to unrealistic expectations. This ultimately leads to the regression of motivation due to the fear of making a mistake and “not being perfect.” And as Winston Churchill said, “perfection is the enemy of progress.” And oh so true are those words.

Related: Confessions of a Control Freak and How I Found Freedom in Letting Go

Choose to see the best in the person and the situation

In other words, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. This is wisdom for EVERYONE but is especially helpful between spouses and siblings.

It’s amazing how I absolutely trust my husband’s love for me and know he’s never trying to hurt me. But in the midst of a heated discussion, I somehow become blind to that understanding and can feel like he’s out to get me.

It’s the same way with my girls. My youngest daughter is one of the sweetest people I know. She’s just naturally bent toward compassion. And her older sister is well aware of her sister’s pleasant nature. But when she notices that something of her’s is missing, for example, she can launch an all-out war to get it back. All the while, completely ignoring her sister’s good character.

After all, isn’t this what we want others to do for us? When something seems to look or sound bad we want others to give us the benefit of the doubt before passing judgment. And when we put this into practice in our family, it is sure to grow more joy in your home.

Related: How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Yelling

Finally, Make Joy Permanent

I want to encourage you that these habits can take time to develop in yourself and your children. So, try creative and fun ways to remember them as a family. To get you started, you can have your kids decorate a small poster board with the 2 habits and post it on the refrigerator for the family to see throughout the day.

I also recommend having personal reflection time to write and keep track of those habits you want to shape and develop in your life and family. You may practice a regular quiet time routine like I do.

Or you may write in a journal. Either way, I find when we make time for creating habits, they’re more likely to stick! If you’re looking to make cultivating joy a priority, try journaling your transformation.

But most importantly, be intentional about implementing these habits into your daily family life and make a BIG deal when you see them in action!

Do you have any habits that you practice to cultivate joy in your family? Please leave a comment and share with us so we can learn from you, too. What do you think about these habits? Do you think your children will respond to them?

The home is where joy is suppose to flourish. These 2 super simple habits will help you create a home filled with joy. #parenting #kidsandparenting #momadvice #home #homelife

The Tired Mom’s Guide to Living and Parenting with More Joy

How to live and parent with more joy

Are you truly enjoying your life? Notice, I said LIFE – as in its ENTIRETY. Not simply the occasional summer vacation or other random, happy moment in your life.

Do you justify putting off fully enjoying your life for a “good” reason? Um… maybe after the kids get older?

The truth is, there’s no good reason to delay your joy. To put it off for a more appropriate time. The right time is NOW!

How to live and parent with more joy

 

I’m not talking about turning into one of those super happy-go-lucky people. You know, those people who never seem to have a bad day. I mean, that’s not a bad thing… but some of us just aren’t wired that way. And that’s OK too!

Some days I wish I could be like that but I’m not. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t learned how to capture the good moments on purpose and not delay really living my life for a “better” time.

There’s a phrase I know you’ve heard – Y.O.L.O. (You Only Live Once). Though this phrase seems an attempt to justify questionable behavior – I totally get the sentiment.

Enjoy your life to the full and don’t wait to do it because you only get one chance.

This is true. I mean, we only get one shot down here on this earth until we move on, so we should do our best to live it well.

Right?

So, why do we find ourselves living a good life but stopping there?

Why do we plan to do the things we really want…

when I …

when they …

when we …?

Related: 51 Easy Ways to be a Fun Mom Even When Your Tired

Stop Putting Off Your Enjoyable Life

Why do we find it so hard sometimes to be spontaneous and just not know what’s coming next? Not having access to life’s map and all the details is hard. And I think it’s human nature, at least for most of us.

Every time we get in the car, my kids always want to know where we’re going, whose’s coming, and what we’ll be doing. And even though I think pretty much the same way; when they do it to me it’s no less annoying. I’m always telling them to relax and enjoy the ride.

I believe that’s what God is whispering to us. Just enjoy the ride of this life. Rest your head on your headrest and stare out the window as His beauty flies past your window. Soak it in. Go with the flow. Don’t wonder where you’re going, but be excited about the ride there.

I’ve learned along the way that my enjoyment is just as important as the work I do each day. Who is it important to? Me, my spouse, my children, my friends, my church, my community, and to God who sent His Son to give me this enjoyable life.

Related: Confessions of a Control Freak and How I Found Freedom

Happy is an Emotion – Joy is a Choice

The actual word enjoy clearly lays out its purpose. The prefix en means to be “in” the cause, place, or state named; confined in.

So enjoy really means to be confined inside of joy. Imagine being confined, sealed off, and protected by joy. Soak that in for a second.

Joy means the passion or emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good; that excitement of pleasurable feelings which is caused by success, good fortune, the gratification of desire or some good possessed; or by a rational prospect of possessing what we love or desire; gladness; the exhilaration of spirits. Happiness; felicity.

I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of being confined in that. Everyday.

But let’s be clear about something – joy isn’t an emotion. It’s a choice and a deeply personal belief that we’re not alone in this life and God is working all the mundane, the crazy, and the just plain disappointing stuff out for our good.

Happiness and joy get mixed up a lot, unfortunately. Happy is an emotion totally dependent on your circumstances. And I’ve lived long enough to know that circumstance we can’t control shouldn’t be the drivers of how much we’re able to enjoy this life.

Life throws a lot of curve balls and joy gives us the ability to tap into the power of experiencing an enjoyable life… no matter what it looks like!

There are also clear mindsets we can adopt that will outright rob you of your enjoyable life! So, to help you actually claim joy for yourself, here are 4 mindsets that are probably stealing your joy right now.

As you read these, allow your heart to be softened to getting and staying free once and for all.

Related: The Truth About Mom Guilt and 4 Steps to Get Rid of it Forever

Mindset #1: Waiting for the Perfect Time

This mindset is probably the most common and far-reaching one. The mentality is simple, “I want to do ____ but” or,  “it’ll be better if I wait until ____”

Many single people wait to travel until they have their future spouse to travel with. Little do they know, their spouse may not be waiting for them in their hometown – but in that land, they’re waiting to see.

Many couples wait for more comfortable finances before they start having children. Little do they know, a business or career opportunity could be waiting to be birthed as a result of being a parent.

The point is, to stop waiting until you move into your dream house before you update your furniture. Stop waiting until you have your own backyard before you go outside to play with your kids. Stop waiting until you feel more comfortable before you start pursuing that dream.

Your joy comes when you do those things you desire – NOW. Many people never got the chance to live their dream because they sat waiting for perfection to come and pick them up. But perfection is always a no-show.

She’ll always leave you sitting sadly on the porch with your suitcase in hand. You don’t need to wait to be picked up anyway. You just need to get up, grab your suitcase and start moving – TODAY.

Related: Present Parenting: Simple Ways to be a More Present Parent Today

Mindset #2: Needing to Control Everything

I am a recovering control freak. My husband might actually take issue with the “recovering” part. But I’m certainly better than where I was!

I’ve learned that control is rooted in fear and from that control sprouts anger, discontentment, and depression. To say the least, control is not good.

This need to control everything and everyone stems from the fear that something’s going to go wrong if we don’t do it our way. We won’t get there on time if we don’t go my way. They won’t be healthy unless they follow my health plan. It won’t get done unless I do it. She won’t get it right unless I teach her.

And all that mindset does is dull the gifts, ability, and drive of your spouse and children. They’ll eventually become resentful of your control and as a result; never have the opportunity to thrive.

A family can’t experience joy if they aren’t allowed to thrive. To thrive means to grow or develop vigorously; to flourish. When we step in to dictate, instruct, and save the day; we rob from them their ability to flourish – to grow vigorously.

And the only way to reverse this mindset is to lay down your crown.

I give you permission to control your decision to not control.

It shows wisdom when we yield to others’ ideas and do it their way. Control has no place in the family. We need to invite collaboration and unity. A democracy instead of a dictatorship.

That’s not to say, you don’t get to be a parent. I’m just talking about the unhealthy compulsion of control. Discipline and boundaries, on the other hand, are necessary components of a family, but that’s another post entirely.

Related: How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Yelling

Mindset #3: Being a Time Counter vs. a Moment Catcher

This mindset is a type of control but deserves its own category. Think of a time when you had a week off from work or your regular routine. This was vacation time for you and the family. The first day is awesome! You’re letting your hair down as you step foot onto the grounds of Do Whatever You Want Land.

This continues until around day 5 when it suddenly occurs to you that you only have 2 more days left before you have to return to the real world! Your heart starts to beat a little faster and you feel like you’re having a mini panic attack.

And no matter how hard you try, from day 5 until the end, you chunk everything you do into tiny time frames.

Wow, this pool is so nice. Wait! We only have two more hours before the day ends and that means there’s only one day left!

That can go on until the last hour of vacation. This mindset is truly an enemy of your joy because you can’t feel joy while you’re counting the time.

This is a mindset that I’ve always struggled with and the danger of it is really simple – when you count the time, you can’t be present enough to capture the moments.

While you’re swimming in the pool with your kids and allowing your mind to be overtaken with the countdown; you’re missing stuff. The good stuff. And if you’re not careful, this mindset can invade your every day – not just your vacations.

The only way to reverse this mindset is to train yourself to get lost. Not in a physical place – but in the moment you’re in. If you’re putting together a puzzle with your kids, remove all clocks from view and just keep going until it’s done or you and the kids are tired of putting it together.

Related: How to Show Love to Your Children in Their Love Language

Get lost in it and choose to forget what’s next. Pay attention to their faces while they’re trying to fit the wrong pieces in and their excitement when they get one right. Be present to guide them through how to wait for their sister to finish putting in their piece before diving in to put their own.

Smile, laugh, really live.

There is freedom in being present. There is bondage in being torn between your schedule and your moments.

At the end of your life and the end of your children’s lives, there will only be moments. Time won’t matter a bit.

Mindset #4:  Comparison

Comparison always leads to either a feeling of insecurity or superiority, and neither lead to joy. You can’t compare a priceless one of a kind painting to anything else. We understand that concept, but don’t understand that each of us is priceless, too. One of a kind creations. We can’t rationally compare ourselves, our lives, or our moments to anyone else’s. But we do – every day.

In order to reverse this mindset, we must learn to see our bodies, our spouses, our kids, our homes, our vacations, and our school routines as unique and made for us and no one else.

The key to joy is keeping your eyes on your own beautiful yard and not letting your eyes wander into your neighbor’s. Sure, there are weeds that pop up from time to time, but those are your weeds. And you work together as a family to rid your yard of them.

But NEVER, ever allow your mind to wander and compare your husband with another woman’s. Or your child with someone else’s. Your family with another family. When we do; their flaws, cracks, blemishes, and imperfections become magnified and eventually repel us.

Related: 2 Strong Enemies of a Strong Marriage

One moment you liked your husband’s quirks, the next you’re annoyed by them. This happens through the seeds of comparison.

Your family isn’t like anyone else’s. And that’s a good thing. It’s through the cracks and imperfections in your family; that God’s light can fully shine through – lighting up the world.

Joy is a decision that is our responsibility to act on and live.

What are some barriers to joy that you’ve experienced and overcome? Leave a comment and let us learn from you!

Joy can be hard to find with life is hard. These positive mindset shifts will help you start living your enjoyable life right now! #personaldevelopmentLiving with joy requires the right mindset in the face of disappointments and challenging seasons. These 4 mindsets will have you living with more joy right now! #joy #personaldevelopment #selfimprovement #faith Learn the simple way to live and parent with more joy today! Yes it is possible! #momadvice #motherhood

As moms, we're great at getting things done, but our joy along the way isn't always a priority. Enjoying your life is just as important as living it. Click the image to learn how to reverse the 4 mindsets that are stealing your enjoyable life.As moms, we're great at getting things done, but our joy along the way isn't always a priority. Enjoying your life is just as important as living it. Living an enjoyable life that's richly satisfying is something we all want, but most of us struggle to actually live out in our day to day lives. That's because there are four powerful mindsets that we tend to see life through, that are actually stealing our ability to live enjoyable lives. But we can reverse them!Experiencing more joy in your life can be hard and you need to first change your mindset. Here's how!

The Secret to Working Out and Staying Fit as a Busy Mom

The Secret to Staying Fit and Healthy as a busy Mom

Staying fit and exercising isn’t easy for most people including me. I’ve gotten on and fallen off the workout wagon a million times. But staying fit as a busy mom is even harder because everyone else’s needs become your own and we all need a convenient excuse not to get on the treadmill. Right?

I want to share with you the secret to staying fit and healthy as a mom. And I’ve rounded up some other mom bloggers who share their fitness tips too!

The Secret to Staying Fit as a busy Mom

Let’s get started with my hands-down biggest fitness tip for moms getting started with exercise.

Work out with your kids. I know, I know I can hear the objections coming at me. I get that this approach doesn’t work for every mom and it doesn’t always work for me.

Related: What it really means to love your body and how you can love yours today

The Secret to Staying Fit as a Busy Mom

But working out with your kids has a lot of benefits. The first is, it creates accountability for you and that’s extremely important! Since kids seem to think all exercise is fun, they’ll remind you again tomorrow when it’s time to work out. And let me just add here that exercising should be fun and if your kids aren’t begging you to do it again, chances are, you aren’t going to want to do it again either.

The second and very important benefit of working out with your kids is you are spending quality time with your kids. This is huge when you have a busy schedule and struggle to find quality time with your children. Instead of going to the gym by yourself, spend an hour racing your kids at a local track or doing a park work out. You’ve just become the fun mom!

And the last benefit of exercising with your kids is you are setting the example and modeling healthy behavior. This one is monumental! Kids don’t do what we say, they do what we do.

Here’s a really fun video example of a fun family workout. This is perfect for little ones who like to get in your way while you’re working out. This way everyone’s having fun. And if your kids are older like mine, just find something fun to do and have them join in.

 
Like I said, this approach is to help you get started with exercising, especially if its been a while. If it’s working for your family, you can continue working out with your kids. Or if your body starts to need more, and it will, you can gradually add in things like working out with weights at the gym or taking a class.The important thing is to remember to listen to your body and give it what it needs as your body transforms. Just try to stick with exercising with your kids as a healthy and fun activity even if you do decide to become a contestant on Ninja Warrior!

Make a Quality Decision

The second thing you MUST do if you want to make exercise a priority is to make a decision that you are officially doing this. I find that sometimes even when I want to make a change I simply won’t take action and I’ll procrastinate. This is usually because I never stopped long enough to make an actual decision.

Thinking about doing something and even agreeing that it’s a good idea or feeling like you want to do something isn’t making a decision. When you make a decision to do something, action always follows.

Action like putting it on the schedule, making a gym appointment, or calling the kids into the room and telling them everyone’s going running tomorrow.

Making a quality decision also means granting yourself grace in advance for the days you fall off the work out wagon. And not giving yourself permission to stay off. You already know that you’ll have bad days and make bad decisions, but you must move gracefully passed that decision and get back on tomorrow. Or better yet, later that day!

Related: 12 Habits of highly successful goat-setters made for moms

Here are 7 more tips to help you get and stay fit as a busy mom.

7 Fitness Tips for Moms

5 Minute Workouts You Can Do Anywhere

5 minute workouts

Source – The Soccer Mom Blog

How Busy Moms Find Time to Exercise

how busy moms find time to exercise

Source – 5 Minutes for Mom

Running Tips for Beginners

tips for beginner runners

Source  – Everyday Shortcuts

How to Find the Best Work Out for You Based on Personality Type

workout based on personality type

Source – Confessions of an Overworked Mom

5 Ways to Exercise Without Gym Equipment

how to exercise without gym equiptment

Source – All Natural Ideas

The New and Improved Way to Train for a 5k

how to train for a 5k race

Source – Brepea

 

How To Really Flatten Your Mommy Tummy

how to flatten your mommy tummy

Source – 5 Minutes for Mom

How to Stop Making Excuses

How to stop making excuses not to exercise

Source  – Pink Fortitude

100 Free Fitness Apps for Weight Loss

free apps for workouts

Source – Everyday Shortcuts

Free Workout Printables

Workout printables

Source – Everyday Shortcuts

Did I leave anything out? If I did, ask a question or add your favorite fitness tip in the comments below!

Want to start working out but don't know where to start? Learn the secret to working out and staying active with kids. #momlife #fitlife #exercise #fitness #healthylife #parentingStaying active as a busy mom can be hard. Get 7 tips to easily getting started with exercise and staying active with kids. #fitness #exercise #healthyliving #momlife #parentingStaying fit and active is hard when you've got little ones with you all the time. These easy tips will help you get on a consistent exercise routine! #kdisandparenting #parenting #momlife #fitness #healthy