Mom Life Archives - FamilyFelicity.com

Angry Mother: How to Stop Being One in 4 Simple Steps!

If you feel trapped in the cycle of being an angry mother, you’re NOT alone! Moms all over the world every single day struggle with grumpiness, feeling on-edge, and have a rather short temper when it comes to parenting.

I believe this is due to one main cause. Motherhood requires us to be ON every moment (day and night) of our lives. Ummm…no other job requires that level of commitment! There are no days off in motherhood. And many moms are doing it all with virtually no support system in place.

The nature of being a mom requires us to go…and go…and go.

Even though all the experts tell us that multitasking is ineffective and puts a strain on our mental and physical capacities, the very essence of being a mom requires us to multitask every waking moment of our lives!

And therein lies the issue, we are doing too much ALL. THE. TIME. This feeling of being pulled in so many directions leads to feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, mom burnout, and fits of yelling at our kids.

This is why I always say that moms yelling at their kids isn’t the problem…it’s what’s underneath the yelling that should be our focus.

Getting angry and being short-tempered with our kids is always more about us than our kids. And that’s the best news because it means YOU can change the outcome.

And while I share many resources about how to become a calmer mom over the long haul, I’m going to share with you my S.T.O.P. Method that will show you how to calm yourself quickly when you’re in the heat of the moment.

In my Free guide The Calm Mom Formula I have a printable version of the S.T.O.P. Method that you can post up as a helpful reminder when you need it most.

So the next time you find yourself stressed and on-edge with your kids and feel like you might explode – try practicing the following four easy steps!

4 Simple Steps to Stop Being an Angry Mother

Step One – Say, “I Have a Choice”

When we feel our anger rising the first thing we need to do is interrupt our thought pattern by reminding ourselves that we DO have a choice in the matter.

This concept is a powerful truth that I go deep into in my Choosing Calm Toolkit for Moms. I’ll give you the cliff-notes version here. We are not held captive to react negatively to the things happening around us, including the behaviors of our children.

Let me say it again for the moms in the back…we are NOT held captive to react negatively to the things happening around us, including the behaviors of our children.

In other words, we have the power to respond thoughtfully versus reacting emotionally. And I don’t know about you, but when I used to respond emotionally to my children’s behavior – it was never pretty!

Taking two seconds to say to yourself or out loud, “I have a choice” is an example of a pattern interrupt which is an action that interrupts your highly ingrained ways of thinking. And chances are when you get angry you’re thinking thoughts about yourself.

You may be thinking how awful you sound when you start going into angry mom mode, how helpless you feel every time this happens, or the mom-guilt that screams you’re the worst mom ever.

Interrupting these negative thoughts with an empowering thought is extremely effective. How am I so confident that you’re able to make the right choice? Because God’s Word tells us this…

“Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]” – James 1:19

Notice the word everyone. If we are given this command…we are also equipped to make the change with His help!

Step Two – Take a Breath

This second step rolls together with the first step. As you’re reminding yourself that you do have a choice in how you respond vs. react to the situation you are taking a moment to breathe.

Breathing in moments of stress, anger, or panic are vitally important because they allow our brains to think. When we’re suddenly overcome with negative emotions, our brains hop over into survival mode and rational thinking is suspended.

Taking a few deep, slow breaths allows our ability to think to be restored. And when we’re thinking, we’re making better choices. I don’t know about you but I have a real knack for saying and doing things I’ll regret later when I’m wrapped up in my emotions.

Step Three – Observe Your Feelings

It’s been said that anger is like an iceberg. What you see at the surface is yelling and anger but what’s hiding below the surface are the underlying feelings like hurt, shame, embarrassment, fear, exhaustion, insecurity, stress, worry, depression, trauma, and many more. 

When we feel overwhelmed by anger in the moment training ourselves to observe the feeling that’s at the root of our anger is very helpful in defusing that anger.

I’ll be honest, this step takes practice and discipline to resist the strong urge to let our anger blow its top like a a volcano all over our kids. And when you tap into its power you’ll get better and better at doing it.

Remember James 1:19 that I just shared above? This is where the slow to speak part really comes in. We quite literally need to train ourselves not to speak right away when we’re angry. That’s why this method is called the S.T.O.P. Method because we’re stopping our negative behavior and exchanging it for a more positive one.

You will likely realize that in that moment you were overwhelmed by a work deadline that was stressing you out, you were embarrassed by something your child did in public, you’re sleep-deprived, hungry, or maybe you just received some bad news.

Identifying those hidden emotions almost certainly works to fizzle our anger. That’s because none of us are angry with our kids on purpose…we’re simply in reaction mode. Leaving us feeling terrible afterward.

Step Four – Practice Grace

This last step is a powerful one because it’s two-fold. First, you’re offering grace to your child for doing whatever is causing your anger in the first place. And secondly, you’re giving yourself grace for feeling angry and letting yourself go through this process.

Grace is defined as unmerited favor. It’s the grace that Christ shows us! We don’t deserve it, yet it’s ours for the taking. Kids are constantly learning, maturing, and growing which means they need heaping scoops up grace every single day.

This doesn’t mean they don’t need discipline and behavioral issues should go unaddressed. It just means that we give them the benefit of the doubt, try our best to understand their side of things, and show them kindness along with our firmness.

And have you ever totally overreacted to a situation that wasn’t at all what you thought it was and you needed to go back and apologize for your own actions? These four steps help us avoid those situations and make room for building trust and making meaningful connections with our kids.

Try out this method for yourself and let me know how it worked for you! Grab your FREE copy of The Calm Mom Formula and get your beautiful printable sheet to post up as a helpful reminder.

Mom Anger: 3 Reasons it’s More About Us Than Our Kids

If mom anger was in the dictionary it could be defined as any moment of anger, yelling, or heated frustrated on the part of a mother in the midst of any parenting-related interaction.

Based on this definition, I think it’s safe to say that mom anger affects us all in some way. Why? Because let’s face it, motherhood is hard. And while there are many other more colorful adjectives we could use to describe motherhood, I feel like hard encompasses them all.

If you’ve ever lost your marbles with your kids, chances are, on at least one of those lovely occasions you’ve blamed the kids for your mom anger. Umm…my hand is up. Anyone else with me?

Here’s the problem with that – in many of our stressed-out, on-edge, ready to lose it moments the root of that short-temper started with us, not our kids.

The truth is, yelling at our kids is more about us and how we’re feeling in the moment than it is about our kids and what they’re doing in the moment.

In other words, we can do things on the front end to set ourselves up for calmer mom days and more connections with our kids or for more stress and frustration and blaming the kids for all our anger.

I lived for a really long time in that second mindset and I’ll be honest…it’s a miserable one.

I’ve made so many mistakes as a mom and learned so much over the years and I want to share that wisdom with you. This is a no-judgment zone, just me sharing what I’ve learned along the way and what really works to save your sanity as a mom.

Here are three surprising reasons your mom anger has more to do with you and your kids.

1 – Our current emotional state sets us up for calm or chaos

Here’s a short illustration of the power of our mindset…

Amy was up two separate times last night because her 6-year-old son has been having bad dreams and is always too scared to go back to sleep without her snuggling in his bed.

She’s been second-guessing herself all week on whether she’s making the right choice to give in to his pleading to go into his bed night after night. She read an article last week that doing this creates a cycle of dependence that could have bigger consequences later.

Amy is a mom to 3 children ranging from a teenager to a 2-year-old and she homeschools her older kids while still wrangling the baby. She also works fulltime from home as a virtual assistant for several clients because not working isn’t a financial option for her family right now.

Today she just got the news that one of her biggest clients had to make the hard choice to not use her services as his business had to shut down key functions as a result of the quarantine. That’s a major hit to her income and fear starts to settle in.

The spiraling force of what-ifs feel uncontrollable as she tries to just stay focused on keeping it together and feeling as normal as possible.

Suddenly, as she’s drafting her response email to her now former client, her 6-year-old starts laughing very loudly in the other room followed by crying shortly after.

She feels her heart beating from aggravation as she gets up to investigate. While turning the corner, her teenager starts pleading his case on why it was just an accident. Apparently he was giving his little brother an innocent tickle fight, which was all fun until he got a little too aggressive.

Instead of taking a breath, Amy lights up the room with accusations about how her teenage son is always playing too rough and how sick she is of hearing all this noise! She demands they both just go to their rooms until she says they can come out.

Her youngest, feeling attacked, starts crying and her teenager responds by storming out and slamming his door.

She now feels like a total jerk…the guilt is real.

Let me stop here and point out a few things.

Her kids weren’t “misbehaving” at all. They were doing very normal (loud and maybe slightly annoying) but very normal kid things.

I want to point this out because it’s so easy for us to tell ourselves that we yelled because our kids did something to deserve our yelling and angry response.

Let’s rewind really quickly and paint another picture of Amy…

Amy woke up from a full night’s sleep for five days in a row! That’s a record! She’s on a roll and ready for the day like a boss.

After getting her kid’s breakfast and their morning lessons underway, she checks her email and learns that one of her clients is increasing her workload. She feels a little uneasy about whether she can handle more work with everything she’s already juggling, but is very excited about the increase to her bottom line.

Later that afternoon, while she’s working she hears loud laughter coming from the other room. She feels tempted to tell them to keep it down but decides to enjoy the sound of her kids actually playing together. That is until she hears the crying!

As she gets up to investigate she takes a few breaths and reminds herself that she gets to choose how she responds to the situation. When her son starts to defend his actions…she listens.

Amy then attends to her crying son and he quickly admitted that it was just an accident. He moved his head at the same time his brother moved his elbow and is totally fine. Her older son quickly apologizes and all seems well.

She grabs a tissue to wipe her son’s nose and decides to get in on the tickling action causing him to revert back to laughing again. Her oldest asks if they can watch that movie he’s been begging them to rent. Sure, why not?

Ok this all may seem like a total work of fiction…and it is…but this story could have played out in any one of our homes! Just switch out the cast of characters and situations and there you have it.

The obvious point I’m trying to drive home is that the reason we feel so ready to lose it all the time has more to do with us and how we’re feeling than our kids and what they’re doing.

And even on those occasions when the kids really are doing they’re best to step on your very last nerve – when you’re at your best it sets you up for closer connections every single time.

Do you fall into this trap over and over?

There is a better way. Amy was using my S.T.O.P. Method that is featured in The Calm Mom Formula Quick-Start Guide. Want your own copy? Click the image below.

She reminded herself that she has a choice, she paused to take a breath, followed by practicing grace. This all resulted in a Win.

2 – Setting the right expectations is everything in parenting

We need to put our expectations to work for us in life and as parents. Unfortunately, there’s a dark side to expectations, which is why so many people treat them like the plague. It’s our fear of failure and disappointment that keep us from expecting good things to happen.

We rationalize that it’s better to have no expectations than to run the risk of being painfully disappointed when things don’t work out as we’d hoped.

Realistically, this is a tough one and it’s a struggle for most people, including myself, but here’s the truth. Most of us think we’re avoiding expectations all together when in reality, we’re just avoiding the positive ones.

Sorry to break it to you, but the whole time we’ve been using the power of expectations, only they’ve been working against us instead of for us!

You’ve likely been telling yourself a story that might sound something like this:

“I’m never going to get a handle on this parenting thing. I wish I could get my kids to listen the first time just one day.”

“I don’t want to be like my mother was, but as the years go by, the more I realize I have the same temper as her.”

“I thought I’d be a great mom, and yet every day I wake up feeling like there has to be more.”

Those negative expectations keep us trapped in a cycle of where we don’t really want to be.

So, if you’re already intimately acquainted with expectations, don’t you think it’s time to make them finally work for you instead of against you?

Here’s the point, both the Bible and science have a lot to say about the power of expectations and they both agree that what we expect to happen is likely what will happen. Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

The reason is because we subconsciously work to make our expectations right.

So, isn’t it better to set the expectations we really want? I’d say so!

It’s time to spruce up those old, tired expectations and get some new ones. Try these on for size:

“Just because I’m struggling with a short-temper or anxiety right now doesn’t mean I always will if I decide to do the work I need to see the change I want.”

“No matter what it feels like in the moment, my children are fully capable of listening without me needing to yell. They just need consistency over time from me.”

“I am not alone and I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength to do them.”

3 – Our boundaries are either working for us or against us

One of the biggest components of getting our kids to listen consistently, and thus keeping our sanity intact, is setting up the framework of boundaries and consequences.

This step is crucial because it’s essentially setting you up for parenting success. We all need boundaries in life, and both parties (in this case, parent and child) need to be crystal clear on what those boundaries are.

When we aren’t clear with our kids on what’s acceptable and what isn’t, it’s nearly impossible for them to get it right!

If you never take the time to set healthy boundaries, you’ll be stuck in a very annoying cycle of reminding your kids on the fly every time they do something you don’t like. That’s a recipe for insanity and ultimately blowing up at your kids on a moment by moment basis which isn’t good for anyone!

Just like you naturally steer your newly walking baby away from the fireplace to keep her safe, our kids need healthy and helpful boundaries to keep them safe at every age and stage.

Some examples of healthy boundaries could be:

“When we go inside the store, we don’t touch anything unless I give you permission first.”

“All your dirty clothes need to be put in the hamper in the laundry room in order to be washed.”

“You can only ride your bike to the end of our street and back.”

“Before you eat a snack from a box, you have to eat first eat something that once grew (AKA a fruit or veggie).”

These are clear boundaries that give your child a clear path to follow. And if and when they jump off the clearly laid path you so nicely provided for them – you offer natural consequences.

In our adult lives, we’re very familiar with natural consequences. They’re not punishments but a closely related outcome that either works for us or against us. This helps our kids learn in a real-world scenario versus simply grounding them or sending them to their room.

Not putting your dirty clothes in the hamper means you either do your own laundry or wear dirty clothes for a week. Riding your bike beyond the indicated stopping point means you lose your bike riding privileges for a time period.

The consequence should be related to the behavior but feel free to get creative here. Lol, The point is for them to learn that all behavior has natural consequences both good and bad. And it’s a lot more fun in life to create consequences that work for us!

Final Thoughts

As moms, there are so many things we can do to set ourselves up for success and make parenting a lot easier. Yes, it’s a lot more work on the frontend but it’s so worth it down the road.

When we learn to understand the power of our emotions and how to work with them, how our expectations either set up us to win or lose, and how our frontend boundaries raise self-motivated and better-behaved kids we won’t fall into the short-sighted trap of blaming it all on the kids.

The best part is, it’s never too late to start even though it’s clearly easier the younger your children are. Just remember that kids are resilient and are able to change and adapt much faster than us adults so keep at it and stay consistent.

Most importantly, deal with your children in a Kind and Firm way no matter what. They will respond positively over time. Do it little by little and step by step and you’ll do just fine!

The Best Mother’s Day Inexpensive Gift Ideas Kids can Easily Buy for Mom!

Inexpensive Mother's Day Gifts

Mother’s Day is a day I choose to take full advantage of every single year. I get showered with kisses, hugs, and snuggles all day – plus I don’t have housework of ANY kind!

What I also love about Mother’s Day is the thoughtful gifts I get from my kiddos each year. Some years they make something special, some years we do something fun, and others they save their money and buy me something creative.

Inexpensive Mother's Day Gifts

I never matters what I get, I’ll treasure each one of my gifts.

But this Mother’s Day will likely look pretty different! With most countries and states still limiting social activities and access to stores, it may be a challenge for families to go all-out for moms this year.

This post is meant to help all the dads and family out there who want to help your kids give the best meaningful gifts on Mother’s Day. These are all super simple, available on Amazon, and very affordable for kids!

And moms, it’s perfectly OK to leave this post open on your hubby’s computer! A subtle hint. 😉

Each gift idea is under $20 but most are half that! If you’re looking to go the homemade route, here are some DIY Mother’s Day gift ideas.

Cheap Mother’s Day Gifts From Kids

Butterfly SunCatcher

Always My Friend Necklace

ArtNaturals Bath Bomb Gift Set

What I Love About Mom Love Journal

Funny Bring Me Coffee Socks

Pretty Love Mom Bracelet

The Seaweed Bath Co. Whole Seaweed Detox Bath 

Mother Daughter Silver Key Chain

Mother Son Necklace

Rose Gold Mom Bookmark

Beautiful Essential Oils Diffuser Bracelet

Just Between Us: Mother & Daughter: A No-Stress, No-Rules Journal 

Amazing Books Mom Will Love for Mother’s Day

Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood

Cat and Nat’s Mom Truths: Embarrassing Stories and Brutally Honest Advice on the Extremely Real Struggle of Motherhood

Mom Set Free: Find Relief from the Pressure to Get It All Right

Becoming MomStrong Bible Study: A Six-Week Journey to Discover Your God-Given Calling

Pressing Pause: 100 Quiet Moments for Moms to Meet with Jesus

This Is Motherhood: A Motherly Collection of Reflections + Practices

Looking for ideas for mother's day gifts from kids? This list is full of awesome and inexpensive Mother's Day gift ideas kids can buy for mom and Mom will love! #mothersday #gifts #momlife

7 Steps to Successfully Live on One Income & Stay Home with Your Kids

Get the 7 simple steps you need to take to see if your dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom can become a reality for you!

To say going from two full-time incomes down to one is a total lifestyle change would be an understatement. But working moms all over the world are choosing to make the switch from working full-time to be able to stay home and raise their children full-time.

Get the 7 simple steps you need to take to see if your dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom can become a reality for you!

There are also many families living on one income due to job losses or not enough income to pay for childcare. In either case, the decision to become a stay-at-home mom is one that comes with many costs and not just money… although that’s a big one!

Stay-at-home moms can feel lonely and disconnected from their friends and previous life, feel de-valued in their new role, and struggle to find joy in the often supermundane tasks being done every day.

I know this because I left the workforce in 2005 when I was pregnant with my first child and have been a stay-at-home mom ever since. I suffered through ALL of the above-mentioned issues! Being a stay-at-home mom is truly the hardest work I’ve ever done, but I honestly wouldn’t have made a different choice.

There are things I’ve been able to do for all three of my kids over the years that so many of my mom friends wished they could like attending most of my kid’s field trips, class parties, and performances. I’ve had more flexibility than most parents I know. I’ve been able to personally witness all of their many milestones when they were babies and toddlers, and for that, I’m so grateful.

But let me just cut in here on all the puppies and rainbows for a second and tell you… my journey has been H.A.R.D.! Really hard.

Mostly because of lack of money which is really what this post is about – how to live on one income successfully. This is a super important point to consider. Sure, all the other issues I mentioned earlier were super hard too… but NOTHING compares to not having enough money every month!

The Reality of Living on One Income

I knew this going in, and actually had a money-making position ready for me to do from home. Yes, my husband and I actually couldn’t afford for me to quit my job and not work. And that’s the reality for some of you too.

I actually ended up making pretty good money until that opportunity completely dried up after about 3 years in. Yep, no more income! It was very scary and exciting at the same time because I really didn’t like the mindless work I was doing and it pushed me to where I am now… doing work that I LOVE!

Related: 11 Easy Money-Saving Hacks Families MUST Do!

And if you’re considering making the transition to becoming a stay-at-home mom and living on one income, you may need to consider ways you can earn a steady income from home upfront. And honestly (this makes me sound so old) there simply weren’t as many opportunities to work from home in 2005 as there are today!

There are so many ways to earn a side income and even a full-time income online. Some are easy but require you to actually work for that money day in and day out. When I first started working from home, I was literally tied to my laptop all day. Yes, it was stressful and hard but I was with my baby girl every day and for me, it was all worth it.

She’s now 12 years old and she’s growing into such a wonderful human being. She’s recently had to overcome some difficult challenges and she’s handled them with such grace and ease that I’m completely in awe as a mom. Proud is an understatement. And I truly believe that my ability to personally pour into her every single day as a stay-at-home mom has greatly contributed to the woman she is becoming.

Sorry, stepping down from my Mom Soap Box. Back to incomes… while many work-at-home opportunities are work for money jobs, others are passive. And that’s hands down the best kind of income!

This post is designed to help walk you through the process of deciding if you can live on one income. But also shows you how you can actually earn an income from home and maybe even match your income you previously earned working 40 hours a week!

Let me take you through the process…

1 – Be All-In Together

Before we dive into the steps to transitioning to becoming a staying at home mom, let’s talk about how to be “all-in” together. Having your spouse on board with your decision is probably the single most important decision of this entire process.

You may have already mentioned to your husband that you were thinking of quitting your job and staying home with your new baby. And he threw up a viciously quick objection. Remember, most if not all of these objections are rooted in fear, so don’t be discouraged.

Most men, if not all, need to see things on paper… to see the numbers work out. They need to feel secure too.

This is a life-changing decision so it needs to be handled with care, with prayer, and a whole lot of grace until you both come into agreement. Which you need to be in order to make this work.

Moving on to steps 2-4 will help you both see where you are and what adjustments can realistically be made.

Related: How to save HUGE on family vacations and entertainment

2 – Put All Your Chips on the Table

The first thing you and your spouse need to do is put all your money on the table and see what you’ve got. List out your husband’s income and any other income you may be receiving, and then subtract your current income to see what’s left.

I wouldn’t suggest adding any funds like your savings or investments to your income list. Those funds are reserved for your future or emergencies and should never be looked at as income for your day to day living. Putting savings away to use when you leave your job is a bad idea because that money will eventually run out and you’ll be left in a bad financial situation.

Only add in sources of new income that are coming in on a regular basis.

3 – Create a Realistic Budget

Here’s where the real fun begins. If you’re anything like me, you’re already starting to cringe at the word BUDGET. It’s OK, stay with me… this step is super important. #StayStrong

I realize that you may already have a family budget so that’s great! But when I say “realistic” I mean create a new budget that takes into account that your family is reducing to one source of income. For example, you may currently have $300 a month budgeted for family clothing. You may need to decide to reduce or eliminate that cost altogether.

Typical families also spend a lot each month on eating out and family entertainment. Those are also areas that can be trimmed to allow your new stay-at-home lifestyle. Remember, there is a cost for most families and money is usually at the top of the list of sacrifices.

And don’t forget to eliminate your current childcare costs which are usually extremely high!

You may be pleasantly surprised to see how much money you were able to gain back just in your budget!

Don’t get too scared at this stage with all the cutting. We’re going to talk about how to add in more income in just a bit, so stay with me!

Get some great budgeting printables here!

4 – Explore Alternatives

Depending on how things are looking in the first two steps you may be ready to put in your resignation and join the stay-at-home mom club today or you may need to explore possible alternatives.

By alternatives, I mean looking for an area of compromise like instead of going from a full-time position to no income at all, you could ask your employer about working a flex or part-time schedule first.

If you don’t have any flexibility with your current employer, you could look at getting a parttime position working at another company. I know a few moms who left their 9 to 5 positions and stayed home with their kids all day and got a part-time position working in the evenings when their spouse gets home from work. Retail stores and restaurants are perfect for this!

Related: Amazing money making apps that’ll save you money when you shop

5 – Decide on your Timeframes

Once you’ve looked at all your options, you’ll need to decide on when’s the best time to start your new lifestyle. You may decide that it’s best to grow your emergency fund for a few months first and that’s a really great idea!

You definitely don’t want to rush into this huge change. Take it from me, it’s much better to have a plan and be prepared for setbacks. You’ll thank me later!

Set a clear date and work together as a team to make it happen. Sometimes, you may decide to wait a year and work on your plan. But having a clear vision and date will keep you focused and on track!

6 – Look for New Sources of Work-at-Home Income

Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, there is no better time to earn income from home! Here are just a few ways to earn a steady side hustle income from home:

Related: 21 Legit Work from home jobs that are perfect for stay-at-home moms!

7 – Stick to Your Plan!

When you finally do transition to being a stay-at-home mom you’ll likely be making sacrifices in order to make it work. My greatest piece of advice is to remember why you’ve decided to make this major lifestyle change. That way when temptation shows up to get you off track or feeling jealous of what another mom is able to do, buy, or have you’ll still maintain your joy along the way.

This stay-at-home mom life isn’t glamorous by a long shot! And you won’t be given a trophy or get looks of admiration from many people these days. In fact… probably the opposite. And that’s OK because you’re bravely stepping out to do the best thing for your family and I will applaud you now!

Don’t allow anything to get you off track and most importantly enjoy the season you’re now in as a stay-at-home mom.

Leave in the comments below if you’re a stay-at-home mom and how you’re able to handle it financially. Or if you’re wanting to be a stay-at-home mom and why you want to make this change.

Not sure how to live on one income so you can stay at home with your kids? Get 7 simple steps to help you get there!

The Busy Mom’s Guide to Starting Your Own Quiet Time Routine in 2020!

Why all moms need a regular quiet time routine

As moms, one of the things we need the most but probably get the least is a consistent quiet time. And I’m not talking about the 2 seconds you break free to go to the bathroom. Let’s be honest – if you have little ones waiting “impatiently” outside the door – that doesn’t cut it for quality quiet time

They always seem so interested in what I’m doing in there. Lol

Having a “quiet time” seems like a misnomer in a home filled with loud little people running around. Quiet is a luxury most of us just don’t have. And time is the other luxury we seem to come up short on day after day even if your children aren’t little anymore.

Why all moms need a regular quiet time routine

Most of us press through each day trying to make it to the end, so we can get up and do it all over again. Kind of like Groundhog’s Day for moms.

We all know the benefits of practicing a regular quiet time routine – time to connect with the One who created us and allow Him to shape us into who He created us to be. Time to invest in ourselves and our personal growth, so we can be ready to live out the good life He promised.

But we so often feel like we can’t afford to take a few minutes for ourselves. That’s selfish and unnecessary, right? But I’ll step out there and say you can’t afford NOT to.

Why You NEED a Quiet Time Routine

You NEED time to recharge, rest, grow, and reflect. Notice I didn’t say deserve. Although I believe we all deserve our own deserted island and personal wait staff for all we do as moms – what we need jumps to the front of the list.

And we NEED a regular quiet time routine to be effective as moms, wives, and every other title we hold in our lives.

Without it we’re just pouring out from an empty vessel. And let’s face it – our job description as moms is pouring.

But something happens when we become empty – we still pour. Only what comes out then is resentment, anger, and burnout. Sound familiar?

We’re vessels who are desperately needed by our families so giving of ourselves on a daily basis is really our privilege to do so. So this “pouring” is something I get to do and not something I have to do.

But allow me to be transparent for a moment, as moms, we’re the heartbeat of our family. And we need to be sure our heart stays in great condition because if we’re tired, angry, frustrated, and filled with resentment – our family feels that and feeds on it.

Understanding the purpose of quiet time is key to tapping into its power. So we can stay filled up and pour out the love, help, support, and encouragement our family needs from us.

Related: Creative Ways for Moms to Grow in Faith When Life Gets Overwhelming!

The Purpose and Power of a Quiet Time Routine

The purpose of a quiet time routine is to connect intimately with Christ, our Savior so He can show us who He created us to be. And allow the process of transformation to take place in our lives.

And most of us think it’s literally just time in the quiet. Nope! There’s so much more potential here.

The power of practicing a regular quiet time is that you and everyone around you get to reap the results of your daily transformation by becoming – day by day – the person you were destined to be.

Most people believe that quiet time is for just getting a break and doing a list of activities like praying and reading. And while these activities are extremely effective to do during your quiet time; having the right heart and understanding of its purpose is how you really grab hold of its power.

Doing random things, no matter how good they are, without connection to a bigger picture rarely leads to substantial change.

Change is what we’re ALL after. That’s why we read books and articles like this one. That’s why we set goals and have desires for more opportunities to earn more income or start new dreams. We all have somewhere we want to go.

I firmly believe there are places we’re called to go and things we’re destined to experience, but we’ll never get the opportunity until we become the person who’s qualified to open those doors.

If you find yourself desperate to make a change, I’d love to share with you a book that was such a life-changing blessing to my soul. It’s Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

Related: How to Find the Courage to Fearlessly Chase your Dreams

Are You Being or Becoming?

In other words, when we devote more energy on “becoming” that person we know we are on the inside and less on just “being” who we are now, the journey to our purpose becomes a whole lot easier.

Take a moment and visualize your dream self. What do you look like? Are you in better shape? Healthier? Happier? Richer? More fulfilled? Stable? Confident? Sexier? 😉 A better mom? Wife? Friend?

What will it take to become her? Not to try and manufacture her, but to actually become her?

One thing’s for sure – it’ll take work. But if you have that vision of yourself – I can confidently say that it’s your vision. It belongs to you and should be your mission in life to become that vision.

And to be clear, this isn’t about going on some mid-life crisis or selfish pursuit. This is about you becoming your best version of you so you can love your family from a place of fulfillment and joy. No more burnt-out mom who yells out of utter exhaustion, frustration, and the fear of never changing.

I’ve been there, feeling like a failure who’s better off not being their mother. One yelling fit after another with guilt piling up around me.

The truth is, I’ve always been an awesome, loving mom. But I was stuck in the cycle of stagnation. I didn’t understand the purpose nor the power of giving time to myself with a clear focus. I spent most days trying to survive and when late afternoon came around, I was rushing the day forward so I could see a new, better day tomorrow.

Sadly, the better days never came because I never created them. I was floating with no intentional focus on how I thought about my days and how I could make them better. I started each year with the hope things would get better and ended each year with the disappointment that everything was still the same.

It wasn’t that I was miserable every day, but there were things that I knew I needed to change, but just didn’t know how.

Now I spend my days living in the present moments and I use my daily quiet time to reflect on who I’m becoming and where I’m going. And even though I have a long way to go, I’m fulfilled in knowing that every day I’m growing toward my goals.

 

Related: The Truth About Mom Guilt and 4 Steps to Get Rid of It Forever

How to Get Started with your Quiet Time Routine

Let me start off by saying quiet time, especially for moms with small children, is a huge sacrifice. So exactly when and how much time you’ll spend for your quiet time is going to be different for every mom.

Just remember, anything worth doing is worth sacrificing for! But if you’re not currently in the practice of having a quiet time routine at all, start off small and work your way up.

Depending on the day, I spend 30 minutes to an hour very early in the morning before I start my work.

If you don’t have a quiet time right now, here are a few tips to show you how to quickly get started with your own quiet time routine!

  1. If you’re pressed for time, roll your alarm back 15 minutes earlier every day. I recommend starting light and adding more time as you grow. Everyone can get up just 15 minutes earlier!
  2. Use a journal sheet that has prompts, questions, and/or blanks to fill in. This helps you have a plan already set and you don’t have to do anything but show up!
  3. Have a place to go every day. Even if it’s your own bed and you just roll over, having a place set for your quiet time tells your brain that you’re serious. By the way, if you’re just starting out the bed isn’t going to be your best option for longevity.
  4. Be focused on change. Remember, having a quiet time isn’t just about doing stuff or having “me time.” It’s the time you set aside to become that woman you envisioned earlier. Quiet time is like a cocooned space you crawl into every day and slowly emerge day by day as your true, beautiful butterfly self.
  5. Read a devotional. I find devotionals a wonderful way to read and reflect on God’s Word. There are so many that are focused on whatever topic you wish to study or work on.

Here are some wonderfully encouraging devotionals I recommend for moms:

Related: 7 Simple Habits That’ll Yield Big Results in your Life

Getting the Most out of Your Quiet Time

The following are activities I do in my quiet time. I don’t necessarily do each thing every day or follow a rigid routine. I just start with my purpose in mind and go with the flow. I recommend you do the same until you find what works for you.

Pray

The way I start my quiet time is to pray. In other words, I talk to my Creator –  my Heavenly Father. I tell Him how grateful I am for having this new day in the first place. Then I honor Him by speaking highly of who He is. In other words, I give Him praise because He is truly worthy of all the praise I could possibly give! God has been so good to me!

I pray for my family, my community, and anything else that’s on my prayer list or that comes to mind.

I also ask for the wisdom I need for my day or anything else I’m facing. God’s Word promises that if we ask for wisdom, He’ll liberally supply it to us. And of course, I use this time to pray for others who are on my heart. Basically, prayer is part of my relationship with God and allows Him the space to speak to my heart at a time when I’m free of distractions.

Journal

Journaling is widely known to provide many benefits for our overall health, well-being, and success in life. But I personally love to journal because it works and has helped me so much in my life! I’ve actually been journaling since I was very young. I guess it’s the writer in me that needs to express myself.

Journaling is the time I use to also plan and reflect. I reflect on the previous day’s events and evaluate how I felt and what was good or not so good. I notate blessings that happened that day, missteps that I want to avoid in the future, and any powerful lessons I learned. I also allow it to be a natural tracker of my transformation progress. And when I’m in a planning period, I use my quiet time for writing out my vision and goals.

Here are some wonderful journals with writing prompts to help you journal every day.

Read

Reading is one of the most effective and powerful activities you can do for your personal growth. Just pick a topic to read and let the growing begin! I start off by reading my bible which is my foundation for everything else in my life. I’ll read based on whatever reading plan or bible study I presently have going on.

I don’t spend a lot of time reading, though. Just a chapter or so is all my time will allow during this season in my life. For my other books, I try to read a few pages per day. You’ll be surprised how impactful reading really is, even if you’re only reading a couple pages per day. Just be consistent!

You don’t have to do all the things I mentioned here. You can do one or totally add in your own elements. I just shared what works for me personally. But the key is giving yourself permission to invest in yourself. To press the pause button for a moment so you can be more effective every day and grow into your very best self.

Here are more of my favorite books I know you’ll love:

Related: 4 Surprising Signs You’re a Burn Out Mom and How to Get Out

Leave a comment below to share how you use your quiet time. Do you have any questions or suggestions on how you can easily add a quiet time routine to your day? Let’s get talking!

Moms are always juggling many things. Having a consistent devotional time for quiet reflect and bible study is so important to living your best life and keeping your sanity! #jesus #selfcare #selflove #momlife

Every moms needs a good quality quiet time with God. How to get started easily!

7 Life-Changing Effects of Waking Up Before Your Kids & How to Easily Get Started

How to easily wake up before your kids and the 7 powerful effects that happen! Three simple steps to get you started! #momlife

I like to say that I’m a “sleep person.” Not a morning person or a night person… just a mama who really, really loves her precious sleep.

But a few years ago I came to a crossroad and desperately needed to make a change in my life and do things differently. There was just one problem – I didn’t have any wiggle room in my daily schedule to move things around.

How to easily wake up before your kids and the 7 powerful effects that happen! Three simple steps to get you started! #momlife

As moms, our lives tend to revolve around everyone else’s needs and schedules so I knew if I wanted more time, and time that I could have consistently, I was going to have to steal it from myself.

And that’s what I did.

I took baby steps and started waking up before my kids… and the results were life-changing. No seriously, waking up early changed my life.

And I won’t sugar coat it for you, it was never and is never easy. It takes tons of sacrifice every single day. Again, I really LOOOVE sleeping in.

However, I made a choice for myself that I’m so happy I did.

But before I share all the details of why I made this choice, I feel it’s necessary to cover a few points first.

The first is that learning to wake up early was a process that evolved over a couple of years. And the goal to start shouldn’t feel like a load of weight or pressure to do one more huge thing as a mom. Motherhood is hard enough and this is NOT the only way to do things.

In fact, read to the end to hear my full thoughts on this issue.

And second, motherhood is filled with so many expectations on what we should be doing and when. Only you can decide if this is the season for you to add on something new. And you’ll know inside when the time is right.

7 Life-Changing Effects of Waking Up Before Your Kids

However, waking up to the sound of children running around, whining “I’m Hungry”, and fighting over toys can be literally the worst way to start your day… ever!

Even if you decide to wake up a simple 15 minutes before your kids and steal a moment to soak up the quiet stillness of the morning, you’ll feel so much more ahead of the day instead of running behind.

This is the most obvious benefit of waking up before your kids. And it’s a BIG one!

But there are also more little-known and life-changing benefits of rising before your little ones and that’s what I’m covering in detail in this post. 

Related posts on living your best life as a busy mom:

6 Surefire Ways to Ditch Overwhelm and be More Productive Today

9 Ways to Rid Your Mind of Self-Doubt & Become a More Confident Person

The Secret to Working Out and Staying Fit as a Busy Mom

4 Positive Mindsets Shifts to Help You Live a More Enjoyable Life Right Now

1 – You Come to Know You are Loved by You

As women, we struggle with self-care and self-love. It’s not hard to see why with all the constant pouring out we do every moment of the day. We’re too often left bone-dry and feeling underappreciated.

We often fight feelings of guilt, failure, and not being a good enough mom. I believe in many ways motherhood is the great equalizer for women, who all experience these feelings in their day to day mom life.

With all those negative feelings stewing around our amazing qualities, our unrelenting love for our families, and all the great things we do every day can become dull and unnoticed.

Why? Because motherhood is expected and simply a part of your daily life. Moms don’t get awards for doing an amazing job… it’s expected.

But when you suddenly decide to make a sacrifice and do something for you… something unexpected happens. You start to notice that YOU matter too. That YOU are still there. And YOU are loved by you.

And when that self-love kicks in, you start thinking, doing, and acting differently. You wear better clothes, you take a shower every day or most days, and you begin thinking about those old dusty goals from your pre-kid days.

2 – You Become Stronger

If you know anything about working out you know that when you first start… your muscles are crazy weak. And after you work them they revolt and make you walk around in serious pain for a few days.

Walking around like a duck after a great leg day is the best. 😉

But after you keep showing up and working out those same muscles they hurt less, grow bigger and stronger, and help to burn all that suffocating fat that surrounds those sexy muscles.

That process of growing stronger at the gym is the same process that happens when you stick to your goal of waking up earlier than your kids.

It gets easier and you start to experience an inner strength rising up inside that’s the best kick starter for your day.

3 – You Gain More Confidence

Confidence is something I’ve always struggled with in my life. I spent so much of my energy comparing myself to everyone around me which always left me drained in self-confidence.

That was partly because I never gave myself the space to think my own thoughts, create my own ideas, and even set my own goals.

When you never give yourself the place to stretch yourself and only rely on doing what everyone else thinks is best, your mind starts to believe you aren’t capable.

Yes, waking up roughly three hours before my kids allowed me to see that I don’t have to just take life as it comes to me, but I have the power to write my own story as I want it to be told.

Here are some amazingly helpful self-confidence tips for moms who struggle with low self-esteem!

4 – You Learn to Trust Yourself

No one likes being stood up, especially on a continual basis. In fact, if one of your friends constantly invited you to meet up for coffee and catch up but left you hanging again and again, you probably wouldn’t be friends for long.

That’s because that’s rude and disrespectful. It sends the message that you don’t matter to them. But it also brings into question their integrity. You simply can’t trust a word they say.

Now let’s talk about how many times you invited yourself for a quiet run in the morning and stayed in bed instead. Or a million other times you told yourself you’d be somewhere, doing something and decided your Netflix account was a better friend than you are.

Here’s the real danger in not keeping your word to yourself. Studies on cognitive dissonance show that when people’s actions and beliefs don’t line up, they usually change their beliefs to match their actions.

You’re actually telling yourself you don’t matter and don’t deserve the time you’ve tried to set aside for yourself. And learning to stick with your early rise goal allows you to start trusting yourself again.

5 – You Become a Master

Malcolm Gladwell shook the productivity world when we said that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become a master of anything.

This can totally feel overwhelming but it’s also strangely encouraging because there’s a clear number… a clear goal to be attained.

Now, whether or not you believe this 10,000-hour rule or not (and many do not) the fact is, the longer you do anything the easier and better it gets.

And I’m not talking about trying to become a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer if writing isn’t your thing. We’re talking about doing something you’re already passionate about and already doing or wanting to do on some level.

When you set aside a consistent time to write, read/study, sow, design, build, workout or whatever it is, you will gain your own kind of mastery!

6 – Your Purpose Comes Alive

When moms sacrifice their precious sleep it’s got to be for something that really matters. Something that’s deeply personal and inspiring to their soul.

And in most cases, that thing is closely connected to their passion or purpose. And when you give yourself permission to pursue your passion, over time it starts to evolve and come alive.

Things that don’t get watered and fed wither and die. When we feed our passions they get stronger and begin to thrive.

I believe we as moms all have a unique God-given purpose outside of motherhood. Our purpose may even be closely related to being a mom but motherhood is a ministry and a season of its own.

Giving time to your gifts and giving yourself time to have quiet time with God is so important to your personal growth.

7  – You Become a Better Mom

Finally, and not at all the least, is that you actually become a better, happier mom. Didn’t see that coming, did you!

When you make time for you and just you, something powerful happens… you loose mom-resentment. You know those thoughts that creep in and tell you how you could do this or that if you didn’t have a house full of kids… or one kid.

I know, I know it doesn’t feel right when we think those thoughts or even when I just talked about them but all moms think them from time to time.

But here’s what happens when you give consistent time for you… all you. The resentment fades, you feel more fulfilled as a person outside of being a mom, and you actually feel more tuned in to your kid’s needs.

We need to be filled up so we can be adequately poured out for our families. And that’s what happens in those quiet, early hours.

3 Easy Steps to Start Waking Up Before Your Kids

Before we dive into these super practical steps to waking up before your kids. I need to share the absolute importance of you knowing your “why” intimately.

After you start you’ll want to quit this new wake up time many, many times down the road. And when that spirit of quit jumps all over you in your comfy bed, you need to know why you want to wake up so early in the first place.

Is it to have some quiet time to connect with God and study your Bible to grow stronger spiritually?

Is it to have consistent uninterrupted time to write or work on your business?

Is it to work out and lose 50 lbs and stay healthy and active?

Is it to drink a cup of coffee and stare out the window in the blessed quiet for 15 minutes before your crew wakes up?

It doesn’t matter what your reason… that belongs to you alone. And your reason doesn’t have to be super significant in the eyes of the world… only you.

Without trying to sound like a cliche hair dye commercial… you are worth it!

Just know your “why” and get started. Here are the easy 3 steps that any mom can start right now.

Step 1 – Roll Back No More Than One Hour

If you’re an overachiever like myself, you may be tempted to roll back your clock at least a couple hours. DO NOT DO THAT… yet.

Roll back your clock by 30 minutes increments if you’re really not a morning person or one hour if you really feel you’re ready. But no more until you’ve been waking up at this new time for at least 3 months.

Shocking your body into a drastically early wake-up time can cause your body to revolt and we don’t need your mind and body plotting against your new goals! Slow change is lasting change.

And be sure to get to bed early enough to not loose your recommended hours of sleep!

Step 2 – Gracefully Reset Every Time You Sleep In

This process really isn’t as hard as you may think. The biggest obstacle to lasting change is failure. Failure to get out of bed!

You WILL hit snooze, cover your head with your pillow, or throw your clock across the room some mornings. Especially, if the baby was sick or your toddler starts hating their bed for the 100th time this year.

#MomLife is full of sleep stealers so when you just can’t get up, cut yourself a much-needed break. Don’t let frustration linger and reset tomorrow.

And repeat this process as long as needed.

3 – Play Hide and Seek with Your Alarm

This final step is one I actually had to add into my wake up routine when I started snoozing my phone in my sleep repeatedly. I’m so sneaky in my sleep!

I would wake up so frustrated because I felt like I had no control. Until I decided to be sneaky with myself!

I would lay my phone in different places that required me to get up and move to turn it off. It worked like a champ!

What To Do When You Can’t

You may be reading this and for some reason, you can’t wake up early or you feel like staying up late would work better for you.

Let me be super upfront here, this post isn’t to put pressure on moms who are already doing too much. Or the mom who just had a baby and now is feeling guilty that she’s too exhausted to try this new goal… yet.

Here’s one mom’s honest story of why she doesn’t wake up before her kids.

This is for the mom who is ready and wants to stretch herself in a new way but needs a little push and a whole lot of support and inspiration.

And finally, if you are a classic night owl then honestly do what works for you. I used to stay up late when I was younger and it worked fine for me.

Productivity studies actually show that people are more productive at the times they “think” they are most productive. Mind over matter, I guess.

The whole point of this article is to help you find time for you. And anyway you get it is a win in my book!


Have you already been waking up early? What’s your best early rise tip? Or your biggest early rise question? Share in the comments below.

How to easily wake up before your kids and the 7 powerful effects that happen! Three simple steps to get you started! #momlife

Waking up before your kids has many life-changing benefits. Here are 3 simple steps to start waking up before your kids. #kidsandparenting #momlife #motherhood

Work at Home Mom Success: Run Your Business, Home, & Family with Ease

work at home mom success

I’ve been a work at home mom since I’ve been a mother…exactly 14 years ago to be exact. The whole reason I started working from home is to become a stay at home mom. I know I’m not alone in this story.

But now with everything going on in the world, moms and dads are working from home at an unprecedented rate! And whether you made an intentional choice to work from home and plan to maintain this lifestyle or you were temporarily forced into working from home – the tips in this post will help save your sanity!

work at home mom success

 

I learned many lessons along the way and made ten times as many mistakes. The best part about it all is I don’t have any regrets because all the failures and missteps I’ve taken can’t remove the wonderful seeds I’ve been able to sow into the lives of my children while staying home with them.

If you’re a mom who’s already working from home with your children or is thinking about making the transition, you need help. Help with understanding how to do this crazy work at home life with kids!

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is if you want to have it all…you need to understand you can’t do it all. 

That simply means, do the things that really matter and make it your business to delegate the rest. It’s not easy and there’s not an endless supply of money laying around but you’re a powerful woman and I know you can do this.

That’s what this post is all about…giving you the tips, strategies, and encouragement to live your dream of staying home with your children successfully.

Whether you need to work at home for income or you’re pursuing your passion for starting your own blog or business, these tips will help you stay focused, productive, AND fully connected to your family in the process.

Ready to make work at home life easier and more fun?

The Mompreneur’s Guide to Successfully Becoming your Own Boss

In this post, you’ll learn what it really takes to become your own boss and why so many people really don’t want to become their own boss! As a work at home mom understanding the pitfalls of the entrepreneurial life is key to creating your success.

Read the full post here!


How to Realistically Run Your Blog During Your Little One’s Nap

Running your business in the pockets of quiet time throughout the day is a necessary requirement of working at home with kids. Most moms work in the early morning before the kids wake up, during those precious and much-needed naps, and after the kids go to bed.

Get the tips you need to make the absolute most out of these smaller time frames to stay super productive!

Read the full post here!


The Ultimate List of Productivity Hacks for Work-at-Home Moms

In this post, you’ll get tips from 20 other full-time bloggers on how they stay productive by sharing a few of their personal work at home mom hacks.

Read the full post here!


 3 Tips to Less Distraction and More Focus as a Work at Home Mom

Distraction is a work at home mom’s nemesis and learning how to combat distraction and stay more focused is key to growing your business and enjoying your stay at home life a whole lot more.

Read the full post here!


 How to Start a Blog and Make it a Thriving Business From Day One

If you’re staying at home with your kids to start and blog a successful blog… congrats on your decision. Blogging is a perfect fit for stay at home moms. It allows moms to do work easily from their laptops, do work that’s fun and enjoyable, and doesn’t have binding office hours… except for the ones you set!

Learn the steps you MUST take to start and grow your blog into a thriving business from day one.

Read the full post here!


 4 Ways I Keep My Family First While Running My Blog & Business

Running a business from home while being a stay at home mom can be very tricky for super driven women like me. Your business (if you really love it) can easily take over your life and home super fast.

Cleaning, taking care of your home, and even spending time with your kids can take a back seat to the thrill of succeeding in your business. You don’t need to make the same mistakes I did. Get the tips to help you create your own version of work/life balance.

Read the full post here!


12 Habits of Highly Successful Goal-Setters – Made for Busy Moms!

Setting goals is essential for seeing the success you want and staying focused on your vision. Get the habits of these highly successful goal-setters that fit perfectly into the real mom life.

Get the list here!

 


How to Successfully Balance Your Passion and Your Family

Having a passion is a beautiful thing… so is having a family. So how do you take care of your family, work or run your business, and pursue your passion? It’s not hard, there are just a few things you need to know!

Read the full post here!


27 Super Easy Ways to Pursue Your Passion as a Crazy Busy Mom

Pursuing your passion doesn’t have to be a huge, overwhelming task or goal. As a mom, you’ve got enough on your plate to get done. But I know how the desire to follow your dreams can gnaw at your soul. So how do you make it work?

Take baby steps! Here are 27 super easy ways to pursue your passion while raising your family.

Get the full list here!


9 Ways to Rid Your Mind of Self Doubt & Become a More Confident Person

Anytime you step out to accomplish big things, self-doubt and fear will do what they do to try and stop you. Understanding how to properly deal with these real thoughts and feelings will keep you from getting sidetracked and will help you grow in abundant confidence.

Read the full post here!


The Automation Tools I Use to Grow My Blog on Auto-Pilot

Running a blog at home with kids is hard enough. But doing it all manually is a setup for failure or burn out. Get the top tools I and many other successful bloggers use to run and grow their business on auto-pilot so you can keep enjoying your family.

Read the full post here!


Blogging Courses That’ll Quickly Grow Your Blog for Under $100

If you’re stating at home to blog… you want to grow as quickly as possible so you can start making money for your family. Especially, if you left a full-time job. And you’re likely on a tight budget.

My biggest mistake in my early blogging days was to hold back on investing in blogging education. It was literally why I didn’t grow for so long!

I found 9 courses that are all under $100 many of which are under $50 that single-handedly helped my blog go from stale and stagnant to growing and thriving! I go into detail about how each one helped me and how they can help you.

Get the full list here!


Are you working from home now? Do you have some tips or strategies that are working well for you now? Share them in the comments below!

 

Many women are leaving their jobs to stay at home with their kids to run their own business. Work at home moms are the new stay at home mom. The work at home with kids life isn't easy, but these tips and strategies will help moms create healthy boundaries, stay productive, and enjoy their new freedom with their family.work at home mom success (1)

3 Things That Prove You’re Already an Amazingly Good Mother Right Now

good mother

I know every mother has asked herself this question at least once, “am I really a good mother?” Or maybe you’ve mulled over that question many, many times.

The thing is, it isn’t an easy one to answer. That’s because there isn’t a mold of a perfectly “good mom” for us all to fit into. We all make mistakes and fall into many of the pitfalls of motherhood only to find our way back again. Rinse and repeat.

But over the last decade and then some of raising my three children, I’ve grown tremendously and learned a lot. I’ve come to identify three things that if you live by, you can rest assured that you’re already an amazingly good mother!

Sure, you and I both have things we need to work on, stop doing, and get better at but this is a really good foundation to stand on.

And the good news is, this list isn’t focused on outward things like how early you put your kids to bed every night or how many vegetables you serve with dinner. Whew!

These are total heart issues and things you can pray about and work on a little bit each day.

1 –You are attuned with your child

What does it mean to be attuned with your child? Let me give you this quick illustration. Remember, when your now big kid was just a newborn and you would lay them peacefully across your lap and just stare into those sweet little eyes and try to get them to smile?

You were in that moment connecting with your baby and very little could break you away from that moment. Feelings of sleep deprivation and the overwhelm of being a new mom didn’t keep you from soaking in every adorable drop of your newborn.

Somewhere along the way, though, our desire for connection becomes less urgent and we become more focused on “getting it all done” and keeping everyone alive. And that happy mom can sometimes fly right out the window.

Being attuned with your child will look a bit different for every mom and family, but here are some general examples:

  • you show genuine interest in what your child loves… even if you don’t love it yourself.
  • you frequently check in with how your child is doing as it relates to their world.
  • you ask questions to hear their responses to constantly get to know your child.
  • you prioritize regular one on one time with your kids individually very frequently.
  • you focus and affirm the positive behaviors of your child more frequently than the negative ones.

Even though you may struggle like I do, to get your kids out the door on time for school every morning, placing the highest priority on a heart connection with your child proves you’re a great mother.

That’s because you know deep inside that having a quality relationship with your kids is vitally important to their overall health and well-being. Children who have grown up feeling unloved by their mothers often report this as feeling “unknown” by their mothers.

Being attuned simply means paying attention to the changing needs of our children. And being willing to make those changes along the way. What our toddler needs from us now isn’t the same as what she’ll need as a growing teenager.

2 – You humbly set an example of being imperfectly perfect

Our kids do NOT need a perfect example of what it means to be human by never making mistakes. That’s because it doesn’t exist. And if we try, we simply come across as a hypocrite.

If you do your best but make a real mistake like forgetting your son’s preschool graduation and having to show up really late (I did that), or getting so mad that you accidentally break the glass top to your stove (I did that too) it’s most important to own up to your mistakes the right way.

If we never show our kids how to recover from our worst and even most embarrassing mistakes, how will they ever learn for themselves? If we don’t take ownership for our bad choices we teach our kids to blame others for their mistakes in life.

It may seem strange that making mistakes is a point of being a good mother. But I believe that it’s important that moms know how perfectly normal it is to make mistakes and have terrible days. It’s all about how we move forward from those bad moments that makes us good mothers.

It’s how our kids know it’s OK to make mistakes and that beating themselves up or blaming shifting are damaging ways to deal with our own poor choices.

In the end, you’re actually making your kids stronger and more emotionally intelligent by watching you walking through life imperfectly.

3 – You understand your true value as a mom

Motherhood is literally one of the most important journeys we’ll ever embark on in our lifetimes. However, raising children is often under valued by society and has been for hundreds of years.

Moms can feel like their careers and dreams make them more valued and important in the eyes of everyone around them. This is a sneaky trap and one that I personally fell into as a new mom. I struggled to see my significance and true value as a mom.

This led me down another path of a tired and burnt out mom who never fully understood the gift right in front of her. I felt pulled in opposing directions because I allowed my ambition to come before my kids.

It’s not that ambition and working a fulfilling career doesn’t mix with motherhood. Not at all! In fact, many amazing moms (including myself!) are also successful at many fulfilling careers at the same time.

But when you understand your true value as a mom, you’ll never feel pulled because your family always comes first. It’s never easy but in the end it’s always the right choice.

Being a mother is a gift and if you truly see that, you are already an amazing mom.

Final Thoughts

Being a good mother isn’t about whether you bake the best cookies with your kids or how many books they read over the summer, it’s always about the heart.

Our kids are looking to see if we really care about them, if they can trust us with their heart, and if we succeed at winning it we’ve won the prize of a lifetime!

When your kids are grown, they’ll likely not remember all the stuff they learned in math class but they will remember stuff like when that batch of cookies you both made failed miserably and you laughed and ate them anyway or when you went for that bike ride in the country and got lost but stopped to watch the sunset!

It’s the little things, sometimes the weird things, and mostly the heart things they’ll remember!

Creative Ways for Moms to Grow in Faith When Life Gets Overwhelming!

How to Find time for God

How to Find time for God

Growing in faith is an essential part of strengthening you at your core. I can wholeheartedly acknowledge I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for God!

I had a lot of challenges and struggles in my life early on. I had a good upbringing but somehow ended up a total mess as a teenager. On more than one occasion it was truly a testament to God’s love for me that I woke up the next morning.

That life feels like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time. I share that because I never felt condemned by God. It was as if He has always been lovingly chasing after me my whole life, and still is. He’s chasing you too!

I have a deep need and desire to make the time to spend with my best Friend and Savior. I do this by having what most Christians call – quiet time or devotion time. I pray (talk to God), read His Word, and write my thoughts and His responses to my prayers in my journal.

Related post: The Power and Purpose of a Regular Quiet Time Routine

Grow in Faith in Your Season

I’ll be honest, my quiet time has varied greatly during the changing seasons of my life. As people do, I press in harder in the challenging times and wane in the care-free times.

Not as a deliberate choice, just something that happens. I’ve also had shorter and sometimes non-existent quiet times when I was in the thick of having a new baby and little toddlers running around. Growing in faith and maintaining a strong prayer life can be a real challenge for new moms.

But I firmly believe God loves us through it all and He knows our seasons. And is always waiting for us to pull in close or turn back to Him when we’re ready.

Depending on your current life season, you may have to tweak how you spend your quiet time to be sure you actually get that time in. And it doesn’t matter how much you treasure this time, it can easily get pushed aside in a crazy life!

Related: How to Manage Your Time Based on Your Current Life Season

How To Make Time

So here are some suggestions you can use to integrate a daily devotion time into your hectic life. And remember, you serve a loving and compassionate God who just wants our hearts to be connected with His.

He’s a whole lot less caught up in our form and fashion of how we like to do things. When we need to change things up a bit, He’s right there just enjoying the time with you – whatever it might look like at the time.

There are seasons in your life when you’re able to dive right into the Word of God with
an in-depth study plan. I LOVE those times because I love God’s Word! But also know when you’ve got a new baby or kids who suddenly find themselves in your bed at night, leaving you looking and feeling like a zombie in the morning – you’ve got to simplify your quiet time routine!

I suggest reading a daily devotional. These are typically 1-2 pages long with a scripture or two and maybe even thoughtful reflections at the end. Devotionals are so awesome for starting off your day in scripture.

You don’t need to pre-plan what you’re studying – it’s all there for you when you open up the book! You can also find some great devotionals for free online. Just be sure to do your best to get it in every day.

Not because you want to check it off your list, but it’s necessary to start your day with the reminder – you’re NOT alone! And I’m amazed how often I sit down and the reading for the day is EXACTLY what I needed.

Another tip is to listen to your Bible, especially during those very busy seasons of life. I find moms who have babies and little toddlers have a real challenge with reading their bible or any book for that matter!

Opening Communication

Reading scripture allows us to get close to God and know His heart. But the other part of a good relationship is having good communication. And prayer is our communication with God.

But again, when you’re living smack-dab in the middle of a crazy-busy life, prayer can sometimes go out the window. But let me caution you to not let your prayer time slip.

Having a relationship with God is like having a relationship with anyone we love. We must talk! If we never talked with our husbands, what would our marriage look like? Probably not good.

Our prayer time is like oxygen blowing on the flame of our life. It makes the flame burning on the inside of us bigger, stronger, and in-consumable. We need our internal flame burning hot – giving us the strength to do what we need to do in this life and the wisdom to do it God’s way.

It also provides peace and comfort in our most challenging times. I can remember many years ago when I cried out to God alone in my room because I was grieving the loss of my baby in the second trimester of pregnancy.
I was devastated and cried to God to take away my pain, so I could still be a whole mom for my daughter – who at the time was still a baby. I remember just as clearly as I sit here today, how a tangible peace literally fell on me and swept over me.

I stopped crying right at that moment because my heart was healed – completely. It was totally a miraculous event! The next day, I was able to go out and see other women big in their pregnancies and felt nothing but joy for them! We need prayer.

A Simple Prayer Framework

Here’s a simple framework for prayer you can follow every day. You can also keep a prayer journal to keep track of people or issues you’re praying for as well as your personal prayers.

You should also write down all answers to prayer. This serves as a simple way of recording God’s goodness and is also a wonderful source of encouragement when you find yourself in a dry season.

P.R.A.Y

Pour out your gratitude
Recognize the needs of others
Ask for wisdom
Your needs should be placed on the altar

This is a very simple way to pray and will help us remember to start with gratitude, putting others first, and receiving God’s wisdom before we ask for what we need.

How do you spend time your quiet time? Do you have a routine or a special place you go? Share in the comments below so we can share ideas and get inspired!

 

Read The Full Blog Series Below:

Why All Moms Need to be Intentional With a Regular Self Care Routine

The Epic Mind-Body-Soul Self Care Routine for Busy Moms{Blog Series Pt 1 Mind}

The Epic Mind-Body-Soul Self Care Routine for Busy Moms{Blog Series Pt 2 Body}

Finding time to have Christian devotions can be hard as a busy mom. Get simple tips to help you grow in faith even when your kids are little! #faith #jesus #devotions #christianliving

Making Quiet Time for busy momsHow to make time for devotionsThis epic blog series inspires busy moms to care for themselves well by creating a regular self care routine. This post shows how to care for your mind and heart by connecting with our relationships like friends and our spouse, and connecting to what brings us joy!

The Ultimate List of Productivity Hacks for Work-at-Home Moms

Work at home mom productivity hacks

I’ve been a work at home mom for over 11 years now so I’ve learned a few things about productivity hacks!

I know because I’ve raised 3 babies and even homeschooled my two older children for 2 years; all while working from home. I’d like to say I feel like Superwoman, but sleepy from the 7 Dwarfs is probably more accurate most days. But I’ve learned a few tricks along the way and many productivity hacks to keep me working and the kiddos happy and busy.

Work at home mom productivity hacks

There have always been early mornings and late nights, but it’s always been worth it. And you won’t find me complaining about it – ever. This life is one that I chose. I can choose to do anything else if I want to – but for now, I’m right where I want to be.

But one issue I struggled with early on was productivity. It’s HARD to be focused on your work or business when you’re raising a little person (or several) who basically need you for EVERYTHING – at least in the beginning. So how do you keep from being ineffective as a mom and business owner?

You learn along the way and take advice and help from others also in the trenches of work-at-home motherhood. So, I’ve decided to put together the ultimate list of all the BEST productivity hacks that I could find from other business moms like myself and share them with you!

Productivity Hack #1 Get up early

Getting up early is essential – since the kids don’t wake up until 6:30 or 7… getting up at 5 allows me to get at least 90 minutes of work completed before everyone’s feet hit the floor.  I’ll admit that I find it hard to get up at that time, but it feels so much better to know that I’m ahead of the game before the day even begins.

Couresty of Sheryl at TheCentsableshoppin.com

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Productivity Hack #2 Dress for Work

When you work from the comfort of your home, you can wear anything you want. I often have friends tell me, “I’d love to work at home in my pajamas.” Being clad in flannel may make you comfortable, but it can be detrimental to your productivity. It doesn’t provide the transition that you need to move from sleep and relaxation to getting things done. Getting dressed provides the kick in the pants your brain needs to get into the work groove.

Action step: If you’re still in your pjs, go freshen up and get dressed. You don’t have to wear office attire, but putting on a nice shirt, jeans and shoes will help you feel ready to tackle the day. It’ll also be much less embarrassing to answer the door for the UPS deliveryman. Trust me.

Courtesy of Donella Crigger at GlueSticksandGumDrops.com

Read the full article here

Productivity Hack #3 Work When You’re Most Productive

To do this, you need to be aware of when your high-energy times are and try to schedule time blocks during these times. Then, make sure you’re working on the most important things on your to-do list during these times.

First of all, it’s always so much easier to work on something important — or difficult — when you’re able to think clearly.

Also, if you’re working on stuff when you don’t have a whole lot of energy, you’re more likely to make mistakes. And it’s always more time consuming and costly to fix something later than to prevent it from happening in the first place.

Pro-Tip — I split my to-do list between high and low-energy tasks. This way I always know exactly what to work on during my high-energy times as well as my low-energy times, so I’m not having to go back and fix mistakes the next day.

Courtesy of Annie Mueller at SpikedParenting.com

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Productivity Hack #4 Set Your Daily Tasks with Quadrant Planning

   

Courtesy of Kristi Hines at Justina’sGems

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Productivity Hack #5 Turn Off Notifications

If my phone or computer is beeping at me all day, it’s hard for me not to check out what’s going on. I get distracted, I get nothing done, and then I get stressed because I got nothing done. So I eliminated the blinking and the beeping, and it changed my world.

Courtesy of Ashley Fehr at TheRecipeRebel.com

Read the full article here

Productivity Hack #6 Make Time for Self Care

I hesitated before using the term “self-care” because it’s such a worldly buzzword right now. But the fact is that the need to recharge is real.In fact, God, who made us, also commands us to to rest  one day each week. How can we rest? By meditating on His word.

Taking a walk in His creation. Going for a swim in His oceans. Or just sitting with the family He blessed us with and enjoying their company.

When we run ourselves into the ground without taking the time to recuperate and rejuvenate ourselves, we can not live the full lives that we should live as stay-at-home moms. So make rest a priority.

Courtesy of Amy at TheGoodOldTodays.com

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Productivity Hack #7 Create a Routine for Your Kids

Like us moms, kids need routines to feel accomplished, too. An intentional routine can also cut back on the amount of times we hear, “Mom, I’m sooo bored.” By creating a routine for our kids, we are teaching them early about productivity and setting and accomplishing goals.

I suggest creating a monthly calendar that is easily accessible for the whole family. This will hold all of the events that are going on for everyone in the family. Then, create a list of things that need to be completed on a weekly basis. You can break this down into tasks for each day and assign a particular person for each.

Courtesy of Jillian at LiveLoveJillian.com

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Productivity Hack #8 Don’t Forget Your Stop Time

It’s also at this time that I plan my stop time. The time in which I will stop work for the day. This is an extremely important habit to have. You need to have a stop time as a work at home mom. Otherwise before you know it, you’ve worked for 16 hours a day for 4 days straight because you forgot to stop working each day.

Courtesy of Crystal at MommyisaWino

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Side Hustle Blueprint

Productivity Hack #9  Set Realistic Goals

A sparkling clean house, a successful home-based business, and a five-course dinner on the table every night looks great on Pinterest, but it’s not reality. Trying to do everything yourself — and all at the same time — is a recipe for disaster.

Courtesy of Sarah Brooks at ThePennyHoarder.com

Read the full article here

Related: 12 Habits of Highly Successful Goal Setters for Moms Like You!

Productivity Hack #10 Using the Batching Method

I write a list of everything I still need to get done before Monday and then a separate list of things that can wait until the following week.  I also spend some time thinking about how my schedule will be laid out and which tasks I can batch to save time.  That way when Monday morning hits I know exactly what I need to be working on.  These planning times are so ingrained in my schedule that I don’t even have to think about them!  They are a daily and weekly habit that makes my life run so much smoother and really helps with my productivity.

Courtesy of Erin at SunnySideUp.com

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Productivity Hack #11 Create Systems and Processes

This is one of the single most important parts of being productive. You need to be organized and know what needs to be done when. This means starting with creating systems, processes, and workflows. Every part of your business should have a process.

Courtesy of Amber Kristine at NeonPineappleDesign.com

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Productivity Hack #12 Be Present with Your Family

Try your best not to work in front of your kids so when you’re with your kids, you’re fully present. Don’t stick around on your computer or answer emails when you can be outside playing with them. Limit the use of your phone and especially social media which is a time suck and distraction from being present (I myself need to work on this!). Close the office doors and do not go back in until they’re asleep during nap time and at the end of the day.

Courtesy of Jessie at TheMiamiRose.com

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Related: How I Keep My Family First While Running a Thriving Business

Productivity Hack #13 Be OK With Not Getting it All Done

Somehow we’ve developed this idea that having it all means having to do it all. Or that it means having it all at once. It doesn’t mean either one of those things! And believing that we have to have it all at once or do it all equally well is just setting ourselves up for epic failure. At any given moment my bathroom vanity is messy, I have a number of unfinished projects around the house, and I still need to get in my 30 minutes of daily exercise. Over time I have learned to be okay with things getting done in their own time. So many of the deadlines and ultimatums we face as working moms are self-imposed. One of the best gifts that we can give ourselves is room to breathe and space to just not get things done.

Courtesy of OneBigHappyLife.com

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Productivity Hack #14 Build Margin into your Day

 If there’s not enough time to get everything done, then there’s nothing you can do to change that other than to eliminate things from your schedule and to-do list. Which things on your to-do list feel really important but aren’t actually all that important?  It’s okay to do less, and if you really can’t eliminate anything on your to-do list, then it’s time to hire an assistant to help you!

Courtesy of Mandi Ehman at TheArtofSimple.net

Read the full article here

Productivity Hack #15 Talk to an Adult… Outloud

We love our children dearly, but talking to them doesn’t count here. If your kids are the only humans you speak to all day, you might start saying things like “No no” or “that’s mommy’s drink” to a potential client, which could be embarrassing, or possibly even cost you the job.

So call your mom, call your friend, or pick up the phone and call a client instead of shooting them an email. They will appreciate the personal connection, and you get to practice maintaining your social skills. It’s a win-win.

Courtesy of Susannuh at HelloGinger.com

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Productivity Hack #16 Set Up A Support Network

There will be days when you need to be at your most productive and distraction-free. Seek assistance from other stay-at-home moms. If there are a few of you who work at home, consider pooling money together to hire a babysitter to watch all of your kids for a few hours. Having that additional support will mean you can focus your attention on your work knowing your children are being cared for.

Courtesy of Catherine Malone at Knote.com

Read the full article here

Related: How to Successfully Balance Your Passion and Your Business

Productivity Hack #17 Get a Good 8 Hours of Sleep

There are seasons of life when it is tempting to burn the midnight oil.  I always regret those late nights the very next day It’s so much better for our bodies, minds, and spirits to hit the sack by 10:00 at the latest. That sleep before midnight is the best, so grab it whenever you can.  By 6:00 the next morning, you’ll be feeling like a million bucks, and you’ll be able to energetically and enthusiastically accomplish so much more.  (And a cup of coffee doesn’t hurt either!)

Courtesy of Natalie Klejwa at KeeperoftheHome.org

Read the full article here

Productivity Hack #18 Set Aside Time To Do Chores

I’m not about to tell you to avoid doing anything around the house during the workday. Heck, having your work breaks (you need to take a break anyway!) double as time to get chores done is one of the #1 benefits of working from home. The trick is to not become distracted by all that needs to be done around the house. What helps me is to set aside 5-10 minutes every 1-2 hours to take a break from work and then I use that time to take a break from my computer screen and throw in a load of laundry, chop up some veggies for dinner, or tidy up a bit.

Courtesy of Christina Tiplea at EmbracingSimpleBlog.com

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Productivity Hack #19 Create a Workspace

Without a designated workspace, I am distracted by the dishes that need to be washed or the dust I glimpse on the television screen or that one little thing that will just take five minutes. Before you know it an hour has gone by. My article still needs to be written, and I haven’t called my source to interview them. Even if it is just a corner, creating a work space signals to your brain that it is now time to work.

Courtesy of Rosanne Bowman at BrilliantBusinessMoms.com

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Productivity Hack #20 Celebrate

Finally, at the end of every day (and there should be an end), feel good about what you were able to accomplish and celebrate. There will always be more work to do so don’t fret about what you weren’t able to complete. Simply clear your desk and prepare for the next day.

Courtesy of Ashley Sisk at DailyMom.com

Read the full article here

Wow! This was an awesome list straight from the mouths and hearts of moms who are in the beautiful trenches of work-at-home motherhood. I hope these tips and tricks helped you in your quest to become even more productive amidst the sounds of little feet running by. 🙂

Please leave a comment below and share your productivity hacks for how you stay on track with your business goals and still rock is as an awesome mom. Let’s keep this list growing and growing in the comments below!

These work at home mom productivity hacks and tips will have you working and feeling like a Mom boss in no time! #Momboss #productivity #goals #Goals2018 #goalcrusherLooking for a work at home mom schedule and tips to stay productive even with kids at home? Get inspired with this list of 20 productivity hacks from other mom boss bloggers! #momboss #mompreneur #bloggersgetsocial #blogging #blogger #productivity

Working from home with kids can feel like a three ring circus with you getting nothing done! But it doesn't have to be that way. Get 20 of the best productivity hacks from other work at home moms like you! #productivity #blogging #workathomemom #momlife

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