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27 Funny Parenting Quotes That Confirm You’re Not Crazy & Alone in this Mom Thing!

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Parenting is no laughing matter! Raising people can be down right brutal but it is also one of the greatest privileges anyone can ever have.

I love being a mom and it’s literally been a dream of mine since as long as I can remember. But this mom thing is crazier than I EVER thought it would be!

Funny Parenting quotes

And as they say, laughter is the best medicine. So check out these funny parenting quotes that are sure to make you feel like an official member of the Hot Mess Mom Society. Being a fun mom starts with being able to laugh at ourselves.

Funny Parenting Quotes for All Parents

Funny parenting quotes

“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”  – Jerry Seinfeld


“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck


“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle


Nurse: handing me a newborn You got this? Me: Sometimes I have to dig through the trash to re-read the instructions for mac ‘n’ cheese” – @mommy_cusses


“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse“


“Silence is golden…unless you have kids, then silence is just suspicious.”


“Me: you’re going to bed in 5 minutes. Toddler: No. Twenty minutes! Me: Ok. puts him to bed in 2 minutes because he has no concept of time.”


“When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.” – @SarcasticMommy4


“Having children is like living in a frat house…Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken and there’s a lot of throwing up.” Ray Romano


“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” Jenny McCarthy


“It’s like kids can just smell when you start relaxing.”


“Wake up extra early so you and your kids can still be 20 minutes late where ever you go.”

Funny Parenting Quotes for New Moms

Funny parenting quotes

“The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.”– Paul Reiser


Once you sign on to be a mother, 24/7 is the only shift they offer.” ― Jodi Picoult


“I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.” Robert Orben


“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” – Marshall McLuhan


“So I stepped away for like two seconds…” the beginning of a parenting horror story.”


“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.” Maurice Johnston


“How could something so small create so much of something so disgusting?” – Steve Guttenberg in Three Men and a Baby


“Babies are such a nice way to start people.” – Don Herold

Funny Parenting Quotes Just for Dads

“On our 6 a.m. walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it’s in heaven, visiting Daddy’s freedom.” – Ryan Reynolds


Most noticeable difference since becoming a dad: I’ve cried hard TWICE at ‘America’s Got Talent’ this season.” – Seth Meyers


Someone asked my son what his father does for a living. He said, ‘He plays basketball and changes his shorts.”– Taye Diggs


“I really love my kids for about six minutes a day.” – Michael Ian Black


“Fatherhood is great, because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart


“Dads immediately fall in love with their little girls and will let them get away with everything. So moms are going to have to be the disciplinarians when it comes to daughters.” – Jimmy Fallon


“My kids will walk right past their father sitting on the couch and come bang on the shower for me to open a fruit snack pouch.”

These hilariously true parenting quotes show parenting humor at it's best! These funny mom quotes will totally have you laughing and relating! #parentinghumor #motherhood #kidsandparenting #parenting
Need a bit of mom encouragement today? These funny parenting quotes are dead on and will leaving you feeling less alone and in good company! Mom humor at it's finest! #momhumor #parenting #motherhood

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