We’ve all heard the phrase – actions speak louder than words. And it’s true, especially in how we communicate love in our marriage. We can say all the right things but actually be doing all the wrong ones.
Not because we do the wrong things intentionally but we often just don’t know how to show our love in the right way. Or we could say in the right language. Yes, love has a specific language. Five languages to be exact!
Every person is born with a unique love language. And it’s through this particular language that we both receive and speak love to others.
The trick in our marriage is to understand both our own love language and our spouse’s love language. The reason we need to know our own love language is that we innately tend to speak love in our own native language. Similarly to our own language in the words we speak.
We don’t just start speaking in a language we don’t know. Unless our spouse speaks that language and in order to effectively communicate with them, we learn their language. This concept is exactly the same with love languages.
Most people don’t know they’ve been speaking a unique love language their entire lives!
And here’s the kicker, we don’t really feel love in a deeply connected way until love is communicated in our own love language. This is why some couples love each other but feel like their always “missing it” in the intimacy department.
They’re just speaking two different languages!
So how do you know your own love language or your spouse’s?
I’m going to help you with that to start us off.
The Five Love Languages
- Your spouse loves to snuggle or always chooses to sit next to you on the couch.
- Frequently grabs your hand to hold it, leans on you, or rubs you in an affectionate way.
- Loves to snuggle, cuddle, and be close especially before, during, and after sex.
- If you reject this love-fest request, they’ll likely feel rejected themselves.
Words of Affirmation
- Your spouse is highly motivated by your words of encouragement.
- They tend to feed off the validation of others.
- They also will be more affected by harsh verbal criticism or judgment of their behavior.
- Compliments and praise are like fuel to their soul.
- Your spouse will frequently ask to spend time with you and loves planning and asking you out on dates.
- Every time you turn around – they’re checking in on you. My husband lovingly does this all the time.
- If they aren’t getting the attention they’re seeking out, they’ll often resort to getting attention elsewhere.
- They generally don’t like being alone and will ask for company from you or the kids anytime they go out.
- Your spouse sees receiving gifts a special moment.
- On big gift giving days like Christmas and Birthdays, they’ll often remember who gave each and every gift.
- They will often collect and store seemingly random mementos from places they’ve been or from things they’ve been given by friends.
- They have a hard time getting rid of old stuff from their childhood.
Acts of Service
- Your spouse feels accomplished when they’ve completed tasks around the house that are normally your chores. They see this as an act of love.
- They will naturally look for ways to help others.
- Doing the same in return goes a long way!
If you didn’t know already, you may have a good idea now what your spouse’s love language is. Not to mention, your own!
Going forward, remember that we all want to receive love in our own native love language but too often our spouse’s love language isn’t our own. And that’s totally fine. Variety is the spice of life, right?
The key to focus on now is learning how to communicate love in our partner’s love language, not our own. And that’s where this post comes in. Here are 50 date night ideas you can try (10 for each love language) that is tailored to showing love in the way they need it most.
I encourage you to show this post to your spouse and let them read it too. This way you can both choose to alternate date ideas that fill you both up in your own special way!
Now it’s time to have fun!
50 Love Language Date Night Ideas
Many of these date night ideas will work for several of the love languages so have fun mixing and matching ideas for a fun year’s worth of weekly date nights!
Date Ideas for Physical Touch
- Find a beautiful location for walking in your city and talk a long stroll holding hands and watching the sunset after a nice dinner.
- Watch a movie but go to a theater that has double seating or the armrests that you can push back so you can snuggle together. Of course, you can have a home date night too and watch Netflix on the couch.
- Have a romantic spa night at home. Get a babysitter or put the kids to bed and draw an aromatherapy bath to take together and give each other sensual massages. I think all the husbands would enjoy this one!
- Take dance lessons once a week and go out on the town and dance the night away.
- Take a couples yoga class and work on poses you go together.
- Reserve a hotel room for the night and have a romantic makeout session all night.
- Take an evening swim in the pool or hot tub and be sure to snuggle close.
- Play a sport together or learn a new one like golfing. Let him show you how to swing.
- Cook dinner at home and be sure to work together with lots of flirting and fun.
- Play a fun sexy game.
Date Ideas for Words of Affirmation
- Set up a scavenger hunt date with notes that say something special about your spouse as they find each clue and location.
- Ask your spouse on your date by sending a loving video text message.
- Go to dinner and while enjoying your meal focus on sharing how much your spouse means to you and present them with a hand-written letter sharing your loving words.
- Have a karaoke night and sing songs that express your feelings to your spouse.
- Ask them what would be their dream vacation. And surprise them by recreating that vacation in your city. This shows that you hear them and want to make their dreams come true.
- Create a heartfelt video and present it to them in a big way like at a drive-in movie or on your TV at home during a night in.
- Create a book of poetry and read it to your spouse at a local poetry reading.
- Have a day date where you set goals together to accomplish each other’s dreams together.
- Have a vow renewal. This doesn’t need to be a big shindig like a wedding, but a simple date together where you write out and say your vow to one another as a reminder of your love for each other.
- Ask each other these 36 Questions.
Date Ideas for Quality Time
- Have a picnic in the park.
- Take a fun wine and painting class.
- Go for a run, hike, bike ride, or long walk together. This can be a day date for exercise and fun.
- Visit a local museum.
- Go on a road trip and choose locations your spouse has always wanted to visit.
- Visit a farmer’s market and go home and prepare a delicious meal together.
- Recreate your first date.
- Have a pajama day and stay in bed all day binge watch your favorite shows.
- Attend a sporting event and go crazy rooting for your team.
- Take a pottery class and try to recreate the famous scene from Ghost just for kicks.
Date Ideas for Gifts
- Get matching tattoos.
- Take your wedding photos and turn them into a gorgeous photo book and present it on a date where the menu is what you served on your wedding night.
- Go on a mini-shopping spree buying things for each other or stuff for your home together.
- Create a new tradition together. This could be an activity or giving each other a memento at certain times each year.
- Go to an art gallery and purchase a piece of art that you both love.
- Go on a crazy date wearing weird outfits you both from the Goodwill like this couple did.
- Learn a new skill together like painting or crafting and give each other your finished projects.
- Plan an epic romantic getaway right in your city.
- Host a party in their honor inviting close friends.
- Design a custom matching bracelet or necklace set.
Date Ideas for Acts of Service
- Do all your spouse’s regular chores and then take them out on one of these date night ideas to celebrate all their new free time.
- Do a home decor DIY project together. Try these for inspiration.
- Volunteer to serve in your community together.
- Go to an Escape Room event and work together to escape.
- Have a plan to go around and do random acts of kindness for others.
- Stay in and have a message night starting with an amazing foot rub and on to everything else!
- Take a cooking class together and cook each other a gourmet meal.
- Have a tech-free day and be focused only on one another.
- Go furniture shopping and redecorate your home with a new look.
- Steal your spouse away from work for a surprise, stress-free lunch date.
Do you have any date ideas that you love doing with your spouse? Please share them in the comments below and keep the list going!