If someone calls you mommy, chances are, you know exactly what it means to be a burnt out mom, one time or another.
Sadly, it happens to moms way more than it should.
So why do moms find themselves trapped in burnout mode so often?
I believe Mommy Burnout happens because we care too much.
We care too much about how well we take care of and love our children.
We care too much about not making mistakes and failing as a mom.
We care too much about getting it all done.
The Root of Mommy Burn Out
And all that care isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it’s birthed out of the love we have for our family. But there is a warning in Scripture that clearly tells us not to be “Care-FULL” or anxious for anything.
That’s because all that “care” wears away our peace and joy and leads us straight into the dry valley of mom-guilt.
And I’ve wandered aimlessly in that place for far too long!
And let’s face it, even on a good day, motherhood is tough! It’s also wonderful… but still really hard.
That’s why moms can hit the burnout wall in a nanosecond.
We don’t need to walk around like Mombies… just trying to make it through each day.
There’s a better way!
So, let’s break this down…
4 surprising signs you might be a Burnt out Mom
Here are four signs that you might be experiencing or headed for Mommy Burnout Mode also known as Survival Mode and some real-life tips on how to get out.
Sign #1 – You have more than the occasional yelling blow-up at your kids
We’ve all been there… As you’re navigating your way through little-people-chaos, you’re running super late for an appointment and as you’re rushing everyone out the door – one of them accidentally spills the milk that another one of your angels left out on the counter.
A setup for a mommy meltdown!
Now, there are times when that scenario would have totally frustrated me but everyone would have walked out unscathed.
But there are other days (help me Jesus!) that I could have alerted the entire neighborhood to our little debacle.
And I’ve come to learn that 9 times out of 10 when I go into full-on fit mode, it’s because I’m experiencing or headed for Mommy Burnout.
This is when I need to step back and try to see the situation for what it really is – spilled milk.
Stress is a magnifier and is how we can magically turn those molehills into ice-capped mountains!
And when I’m stressed about anything, I’m a whole lot more touchy than I would be otherwise.
So, instead of letting stressful situations fester, I’ve learned to deal with them quickly as best I can to keep them from affecting all the other areas of my life. Like my home life!
Sign #2 – Your house is in a constant state of disarray
Let me just say this… I’m not the mom who’s going to judge or shame another mom for the condition of her home. I have 3 kids, and one of them is a 2-year-old boy. Enough said there.
I just know from personal experience, when I’m burnt out, housework really gets the best of me. I feel like I’m always running behind the mess instead of controlling it.
If you’ve totally abandoned your usually cleaning and tidying schedule… you may be in or headed for burnout.
My advice isn’t to run around and catch up on all the laundry hills. Nope!
It’s to take a day off from doing ALL cleaning. I know that probably sounds a little counterintuitive because we’re talking about how you haven’t been cleaning.
But trust, me it’s not! Whether or not you’ve actually been physically cleaning, I know you’ve been mentally cleaning.
Looking at all the mess and feeling overwhelmed.
Sign #3 – You find yourself feeling lonely but fight against the urge to connect with friends/family
When we’re in Survival Mode and overwhelmed with life, it’s easy to get sucked into a cycle of isolation and depression. We tell ourselves – no one else is going through what I’m going through.
We let the shame of our situation keep us on an island with no one to talk to but our own critical voice. And that’s the worst voice we can hear when we’re vulnerable and depressed.
Reaching out to a friend and being honest about where you are is extremely important.
You may be thinking, “I don’t really have any friends.”
No worries, a lot of women struggle with friendships after becoming a mother for A LOT of reasons. I know I did, and still do!
Reaching out and making the effort to connect is the first step. Without trying to sound cliche, if you start really looking for relationships – you’ll be surprised how they were there all along.
Sign #4 – Your health isn’t a priority in your daily actions
You may know your health is important; but your exercise, water, sleep, and good food simply aren’t happening. You find yourself snacking ALL DAY… and I’m not talking about carrot sticks and hummus!
You’re exhausted and your sleep is out of whack. You either sleep too much and never feel rested, or you’re dealing with insomnia. You’re not just tired but EXHAUSTED all. the. time.
We’ve all heard it – stress can cause many things to go crazy in our mind and bodies. So, it’s no surprise that we’d feel sluggish and rundown when we’re headed for burnout.
But when we outright abandon the healthy habits we know we should be doing, we’re only making the problem bigger.
A healthy lifestyle is the fuel you need to keep going strong.
So, make a commitment to reconnect with the healthy habits that slipped away. No condemnation! Just get back on the horse. Call that friend and get an accountability partner.
In addition to healthy eating, sleeping, and exercising – having a regular check-up with our doctor is NECESSARY!
Especially the older, and more fabulous we get. 😉
**If you’re not feeling great physically, get it checked out just to be sure there’s not a medical reason for your exhaustion.**
How to Bounce Back Fast!
You are simply too precious to your family, and to this world to allow yourself to live in full-on Burnout Mommy Mode!
The source of most feelings of burn out stem from stress, anxiety, or mom-guilt.
In order to fully release those feelings – the Bible tells us to cast the whole of that CARE onto Christ who cares for us affectionately.
We can rest in the #Truth that we have a Savior who loves us and cares about every moment and area of our lives.
When life gets crazy, we are commanded to release our concern to the One who can work it out.
And that requires us to tap into something else – FAITH.
Sometimes just knowing we’re not alone is comfort enough.
And we’ve ALL been there!
When was the last time you were in Burnout Mommy Mode and how did you get out?
Leave a comment below, so we can all encourage each other!