As moms, one of the things we need the most but probably get the least is a consistent quiet time. And I’m not talking about the 2 seconds you break free to go to the bathroom. Let’s be honest – if you have little ones waiting “impatiently” outside the door – that doesn’t cut it for quality quiet time.
They always seem so interested in what I’m doing in there. Lol
Having a “quiet time” seems like a misnomer in a home filled with loud little people running around. Quiet is a luxury most of us just don’t have. And time is the other luxury we seem to come up short on day after day even if your children aren’t little anymore.
Most of us press through each day trying to make it to the end, so we can get up and do it all over again. Kind of like Groundhog’s Day for moms.
We all know the benefits of practicing a regular quiet time routine – time to connect with the One who created us and allow Him to shape us into who He created us to be. Time to invest in ourselves and our personal growth, so we can be ready to live out the good life He promised.
But we so often feel like we can’t afford to take a few minutes for ourselves. That’s selfish and unnecessary, right? But I’ll step out there and say you can’t afford NOT to.
Why You NEED a Quiet Time Routine
You NEED time to recharge, rest, grow, and reflect. Notice I didn’t say deserve. Although I believe we all deserve our own deserted island and personal wait staff for all we do as moms – what we need jumps to the front of the list.
And we NEED a regular quiet time routine to be effective as moms, wives, and every other title we hold in our lives.
Without it we’re just pouring out from an empty vessel. And let’s face it – our job description as moms is pouring.
But something happens when we become empty – we still pour. Only what comes out then is resentment, anger, and burnout. Sound familiar?
We’re vessels who are desperately needed by our families so giving of ourselves on a daily basis is really our privilege to do so. So this “pouring” is something I get to do and not something I have to do.
But allow me to be transparent for a moment, as moms, we’re the heartbeat of our family. And we need to be sure our heart stays in great condition because if we’re tired, angry, frustrated, and filled with resentment – our family feels that and feeds on it.
Understanding the purpose of quiet time is key to tapping into its power. So we can stay filled up and pour out the love, help, support, and encouragement our family needs from us.
The Purpose and Power of a Quiet Time Routine
The purpose of a quiet time routine is to connect intimately with Christ, our Savior so He can show us who He created us to be. And allow the process of transformation to take place in our lives.
And most of us think it’s literally just time in the quiet. Nope! There’s so much more potential here.
The power of practicing a regular quiet time is that you and everyone around you get to reap the results of your daily transformation by becoming – day by day – the person you were destined to be.
Most people believe that quiet time is for just getting a break and doing a list of activities like praying and reading. And while these activities are extremely effective to do during your quiet time; having the right heart and understanding of its purpose is how you really grab hold of its power.
Doing random things, no matter how good they are, without connection to a bigger picture rarely leads to substantial change.
Change is what we’re ALL after. That’s why we read books and articles like this one. That’s why we set goals and have desires for more opportunities to earn more income or start new dreams. We all have somewhere we want to go.
I firmly believe there are places we’re called to go and things we’re destined to experience, but we’ll never get the opportunity until we become the person who’s qualified to open those doors.
If you find yourself desperate to make a change, I’d love to share with you a book that was such a life-changing blessing to my soul. It’s Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.
Are You Being or Becoming?
In other words, when we devote more energy on “becoming” that person we know we are on the inside and less on just “being” who we are now, the journey to our purpose becomes a whole lot easier.
Take a moment and visualize your dream self. What do you look like? Are you in better shape? Healthier? Happier? Richer? More fulfilled? Stable? Confident? Sexier? 😉 A better mom? Wife? Friend?
What will it take to become her? Not to try and manufacture her, but to actually become her?
One thing’s for sure – it’ll take work. But if you have that vision of yourself – I can confidently say that it’s your vision. It belongs to you and should be your mission in life to become that vision.
And to be clear, this isn’t about going on some mid-life crisis or selfish pursuit. This is about you becoming your best version of you so you can love your family from a place of fulfillment and joy. No more burnt-out mom who yells out of utter exhaustion, frustration, and the fear of never changing.
I’ve been there, feeling like a failure who’s better off not being their mother. One yelling fit after another with guilt piling up around me.
The truth is, I’ve always been an awesome, loving mom. But I was stuck in the cycle of stagnation. I didn’t understand the purpose nor the power of giving time to myself with a clear focus. I spent most days trying to survive and when late afternoon came around, I was rushing the day forward so I could see a new, better day tomorrow.
Sadly, the better days never came because I never created them. I was floating with no intentional focus on how I thought about my days and how I could make them better. I started each year with the hope things would get better and ended each year with the disappointment that everything was still the same.
It wasn’t that I was miserable every day, but there were things that I knew I needed to change, but just didn’t know how.
Now I spend my days living in the present moments and I use my daily quiet time to reflect on who I’m becoming and where I’m going. And even though I have a long way to go, I’m fulfilled in knowing that every day I’m growing toward my goals.
How to Get Started with your Quiet Time Routine
Let me start off by saying quiet time, especially for moms with small children, is a huge sacrifice. So exactly when and how much time you’ll spend for your quiet time is going to be different for every mom.
Just remember, anything worth doing is worth sacrificing for! But if you’re not currently in the practice of having a quiet time routine at all, start off small and work your way up.
Depending on the day, I spend 30 minutes to an hour very early in the morning before I start my work.
If you don’t have a quiet time right now, here are a few tips to show you how to quickly get started with your own quiet time routine!
- If you’re pressed for time, roll your alarm back 15 minutes earlier every day. I recommend starting light and adding more time as you grow. Everyone can get up just 15 minutes earlier!
- Use a journal sheet that has prompts, questions, and/or blanks to fill in. This helps you have a plan already set and you don’t have to do anything but show up!
- Have a place to go every day. Even if it’s your own bed and you just roll over, having a place set for your quiet time tells your brain that you’re serious. By the way, if you’re just starting out the bed isn’t going to be your best option for longevity.
- Be focused on change. Remember, having a quiet time isn’t just about doing stuff or having “me time.” It’s the time you set aside to become that woman you envisioned earlier. Quiet time is like a cocooned space you crawl into every day and slowly emerge day by day as your true, beautiful butterfly self.
- Read a devotional. I find devotionals a wonderful way to read and reflect on God’s Word. There are so many that are focused on whatever topic you wish to study or work on.
Here are some wonderfully encouraging devotionals I recommend for moms:
Getting the Most out of Your Quiet Time
The following are activities I do in my quiet time. I don’t necessarily do each thing every day or follow a rigid routine. I just start with my purpose in mind and go with the flow. I recommend you do the same until you find what works for you.
The way I start my quiet time is to pray. In other words, I talk to my Creator – my Heavenly Father. I tell Him how grateful I am for having this new day in the first place. Then I honor Him by speaking highly of who He is. In other words, I give Him praise because He is truly worthy of all the praise I could possibly give! God has been so good to me!
I pray for my family, my community, and anything else that’s on my prayer list or that comes to mind.
I also ask for the wisdom I need for my day or anything else I’m facing. God’s Word promises that if we ask for wisdom, He’ll liberally supply it to us. And of course, I use this time to pray for others who are on my heart. Basically, prayer is part of my relationship with God and allows Him the space to speak to my heart at a time when I’m free of distractions.
Journaling is widely known to provide many benefits for our overall health, well-being, and success in life. But I personally love to journal because it works and has helped me so much in my life! I’ve actually been journaling since I was very young. I guess it’s the writer in me that needs to express myself.
Journaling is the time I use to also plan and reflect. I reflect on the previous day’s events and evaluate how I felt and what was good or not so good. I notate blessings that happened that day, missteps that I want to avoid in the future, and any powerful lessons I learned. I also allow it to be a natural tracker of my transformation progress. And when I’m in a planning period, I use my quiet time for writing out my vision and goals.
Here are some wonderful journals with writing prompts to help you journal every day.
Reading is one of the most effective and powerful activities you can do for your personal growth. Just pick a topic to read and let the growing begin! I start off by reading my bible which is my foundation for everything else in my life. I’ll read based on whatever reading plan or bible study I presently have going on.
I don’t spend a lot of time reading, though. Just a chapter or so is all my time will allow during this season in my life. For my other books, I try to read a few pages per day. You’ll be surprised how impactful reading really is, even if you’re only reading a couple pages per day. Just be consistent!
You don’t have to do all the things I mentioned here. You can do one or totally add in your own elements. I just shared what works for me personally. But the key is giving yourself permission to invest in yourself. To press the pause button for a moment so you can be more effective every day and grow into your very best self.
Here are more of my favorite books I know you’ll love:
Leave a comment below to share how you use your quiet time. Do you have any questions or suggestions on how you can easily add a quiet time routine to your day? Let’s get talking!