I love being a mom but I certainly don’t love every minute of motherhood. And I don’t know a single mom who does! Though I truly believe that motherhood is a gift, that gift also comes with many struggles.
These struggles commonly show up in the form of sleepless nights (at all stages!), overwhelm, mom-guilt, stress, confusion, anxiety, and even uncontrolled anger.
Whether you have a toddler, a school-aged child, a teenager, or all three like I do – motherhood is likely to be the hardest thing any of us will ever do!
Not because we’re bad mothers or aren’t fully devoted to our families, but because we care and love so deeply.
We sometimes forget to lean on the One who gave us these blessings and consequently stay up all night in worry, forget to cast our care upon the One who cares so deeply for us, and neglect to fill ourselves up to our designated fill lines leaving our souls bone dry.
With the mission of motherhood, we get the good, the beautiful, the miraculous, the scary, the messy, and the downright ugly all wrapped up in one gift.
So how do we cope? Or better yet, how do we thrive on this epic adventure called motherhood? How do we find and live in this thing called peace?
That’s what I want to share with you now. My proven strategies for getting out of the mom funk so you can claim the peace that belongs to you. The mom funk can be anything from feeling “over it” and wanting to quit, to being too exhausted to do more than what keeps the authorities from knocking on your door. Been there!
Or maybe you’re not feeling super low but just want to keep your peace tank filled up.
“Peace – a state of quiet or tranquillity; freedom from disturbance or agitation; Heavenly rest; the happiness of heaven.”
These highly effective strategies will help you avoid these hard places and bounce back if you’ve found yourself surrounded struggles, so you can get back to loving on those blessings without all the toxic baggage weighing you down.
5 Strategies to Get Out of the Mom Funk Fast
1 – Look for The Root
I need to start here because we can’t do much to change a pattern of behavior or a toxic emotion from creeping in if we don’t know what’s at the root.
If you notice anxiety or constant anger and yelling creeping in, it’s vital that we take the time to find the source. This requires both courage and patience as we do the work to learn why we keep feeling this way.
What I’ve learned over the last few years is that negative emotions are most often caused by internal issues and not the external ones visible on the surface.
This means when your kiddos start fighting over the TV remote in the other room and you feel your blood boiling or feel a panic attack coming on, it’s likely not your kids causing you to feel this way.
There’s something else going on under the surface. When we leave negative emotions unchecked and unmanaged, it makes us react like a ticking time bomb. It’s like the science experiments we did in school. When certain chemicals are sitting calmly in the beaker, all it takes is the right pour and BOOM!
And many times our kids (and spouse) just have the worst timing. To break the cycle, start to train yourself to evaluate what was happening in the moments leading up to your blow up.
Were you stressed about something else? Did you feel embarrassed about something? Did what happened trigger fearful thoughts?
If you avoid the temptation to ignore those emotions and do the necessary digging, you’ll be amazed at what you discover.
2 – Have a Peace Plan
Peace in our hearts and homes is something that doesn’t get talked about a lot these days. But peace is something that every heart on this planet craves and desperately needs.
A lot of the wrong we see around us in the world today is a result of a clear lack of peace.
Creating a plan for our peace means that we’re choosing to show up with intention for our peace. We’re essentially giving peace a place. That’s huge!
The first step in creating your peace plan is to create a vision of what having peace looks like in your day. Write down what you want to look like, sound like, and behave like when your triggers show up. We must fully know what change should look like if we ever want them to become a reality.
The next step is to create borders and intentional routines to help you achieve your vision. For example, if you find yourself getting more stressed or frustrated at a certain time of the day, it may be because you aren’t taking enough breaks.
A simple 15-minute break to have tea, curl up on the couch, or read a book can do wonders to reset your mood. As moms, we are masters at being creative and “making it happen” when it comes to our kids. We need to employ that same craftiness when it comes to our own well-being.
The final step is to practice these borders and refine them as needed. Change never happens overnight – it happens in the commitment to persistence.
Allow yourself the grace to mess up and fall back into the path of least resistance. Just don’t give yourself permission to stay there!
3 – Activate the 3 P’s
These are a powerful trio for sure. If you want to jolt yourself out of depression or a feeling that your joy has left the building, your answer is to activate the first P which is Praise.
When we offer a sacrifice of praise to the Lord, that means when praising or feeling joyful is the LAST thing we feel like doing – we do it. We open our mouth and praise God because no matter what is going on, He is always worthy of our beautiful praise.
The Bible tells us that our praise is our weapon against the spirit of heaviness!
“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.”Isaiah 61:3
The next P is Prayer. Prayer is simply talking to God and our way to have a personal relationship with the Creator of the universe. So often we treat prayer as a last resort when nothing else is working.
Prayer should be our first resort. But life (for ALL of us) can distort our understanding of prayer causing us to forget again and again. I fall into this trap quite often. The Bible says that the prayers of the righteous make much power available!
The final P is God’s Presence. This simply means that you make time to spend quality time with the Lord. We can do this, of course, through prayer and praise but also by just sitting in a quiet place and inviting Him to be with you.
Put on some worship music and enjoy that moment…no matter how short it may be. Ha! You can also spend time with God by reading a devotional or a chapter in your Bible each day.
I love taking long quiet walks and talking to Him as I walk through His creation outside. You do whatever feels natural to you.
When we place Christ smack-dad in the middle of our day, our mess, and our sometimes crazy chaos of motherhood – He is happy to be right there with us.
4 – Choose and Practice Joy Every Day
Honestly, this can be a hard one. Especially if you aren’t naturally bent toward a cheery disposition. I know I can easily fall into the trap of pessimism and complaining. I’m actually really good at it.
But the truth is, it’s as bad and nasty of a habit as chewing your fingernails. It erodes our joy and brings a dark cloud everywhere we go.
The good news is we have the power to choose joy! Just like love isn’t an emotion but a choice we make everyday…joy is too.
Science even reveals that we can train our minds to feel happier by doing things like smiling, writing down things we’re grateful for, and intentionally celebrating your successes.
It’s also helpful to find activities that you enjoy doing just for you. As moms, we tend to forget the things we love. Reclaiming those old hobbies and dreams will add joy and satisfaction to your days, replacing many of those funk feelings.
5 – Adjust Your Expectations
We often become frustrated with ourselves, our spouse, and our kids because our expectations are through the roof.
Do we blow up when our kids are doing totally normal and healthy kid things? Do you get disappointed in yourself because you never got the satisfaction of crossing a single item off your to-do list at the end of the day?
Spend some quality time evaluating whether you’re simply shooting too high.
It’s totally healthy to take a closer look and rein in our own enthusiasm for excellence. Maybe what’s needed more is to take baby steps instead of leaping.
Giving yourself the grace to make mistakes and miss the mark is like a soothing balm to the soul of a tired momma.
You are doing better than you think you are! This I know for sure. And using these strategies again and again will help you to find and keep your peace as you continue down the crazy path of motherhood!
What are your strategies for getting out of the mom funk? Share them in the comments below!