Do you ever feel like you’re drifting in life and going through the motions? Do you feel truly fulfilled and satisfied with where you are in life and in your relationships?
If you don’t feel like you’re in the best place in life, the good news is you how the power to get up and leave that place! I’m not talking about a physical place or a union like your marriage, of course. I’m talking about the state you’re in.
So for example, if you are frustrated with your marriage, you have the power to change the state of your marriage. I’ll give you some tips on that in a bit! So stay with me.
Way too often we do everyday, ordinary things in our days and somehow expect extraordinary results. Ummm, let me just get this out the way now… that doesn’t exist!
Everything worth having is worth sacrificing and working for.
I was having a conversation with a very close friend yesterday and she was sharing her successes in her fitness and health routine. She recently experienced a highly stressful few weeks prior and relaxed on her normal routine. As a result, she felt bloated, tired, and extremely foggy. All from a few days off her usual regimen!
While we were talking, I suddenly a light bulb moment!
I realized that yes, it’s a pain in the behind to spend time planning, prepping, and faithfully eating your carefully crafted meal plan. But the proof is in the results. And this applies to every other area of our lives.
The Key To Being More Intentional
Doing average, ordinary activities will NEVER create the amazing life we really want. Doing mindful, intentional, repetitive and even mundane things every single day is how you get to where you really want to be.
So what are those things we should be doing?
Only you know the answer to that. Start with your list of things you’ve been wanting to do but find yourself procrastinating. The truth is, you’ll likely still not love doing all the things to need to do to have the life you want.
My friend doesn’t love to diligently plan and prep her meals every single week. But she loves the results! And when she decides that she wants to live a week like all her friends and eat whatever she wants, her body goes into a fit and she pays the price.
The key to being more intentional and purposeful in our lives is to make peace with ourselves that change isn’t easy and it’s a process that lasts as long as we’re on this earth. Once you understand that change requires constant work, adjusting, attention, focus, and diligence… change can finally happen.
Start with the areas in your life that don’t look like you want them to look. Decide what things you need to do to make an impact and start doing them… and don’t stop doing them. And when you finally see results… don’t stop doing them!
Remember, this is a forever thing. As soon as you get your results you may make adjustments to your process, but you’ll never stop working and maintaining your success!
Complacency is a killer of all good things in your life.
How to Feel More Connected
Now, there’s another area that many of us struggle with and that’s feeling connected to other. Connected in a meaningful way in our friendships, marriages, and our families. We need to feel connected with others. And fake social media friendships are eroding this essential need. Telling our Instastory online isn’t the same as sitting across the table from your bestie at Starbucks.
We need to hear a voice on the other line who’s talking to us. Reading blogs and watching inspirational videos on social media is fine, but we need people who are connected to us.
Here are some ways you can nurture your relationship and feel more connected.
Get Connected with Friends
I don’t know about you, but finding the time to set up lunch dates or play dates with the kids is a real struggle. And so often our friends with kids are struggling in the same area, which becomes a recipe for isolation.
Isolation is a breeding ground for depression. You don’t have anyone who can pull you out of your funk. Know what I mean?
We need someone to tell us it’s going to be alright and this will pass. Or that what you’re going through isn’t crazy but totally normal! When all you listen to all day is your critical thoughts playing on auto-repeat it’s hard to feel strong, emotionally speaking.
Being a mom is hard work!
But hearing that it’s OK from another mom in the trenches is sometimes all you need. Once I started having children and working from home… life got lonely.
Over the years I looked up and realized I didn’t have many friendships at all. Life was going on around me and I just felt alone.
If that’s you, reach out and talk to a friend. Even if it’s been a long time. Or, if you don’t have many or any friends, find some mom groups where you can get the kids out and meet some new moms. Don’t be afraid to step out there!
Get Connected with Your Spouse
Your marriage is also a major cornerstone in your life and that relationship needs to be nurtured too.
If you’re a single mom, don’t skip this section. If you desire to be married, apply this wisdom to
your dating relationships and future marriage.
Your spouse is someone you fell in love with and decided to start a life together. But over the years, the passion for one another can fade – if you’re not careful.
If you’re in a good place in your marriage, that’s fantastic. But you need to work to keep it there. That doesn’t mean that every couple needs a weekly date night. Though, some would argue with that.
You do need to make each other a priority. And the single most important priority in your marriage is communication. Talking to each other is essential to staying close and maintaining intimacy.
Get Connected with Your Mind
Outside of nurturing and improving our relationships, we need to nurture and improve our minds. Many of us do that through the love of reading. For me, and so many others, reading is a personal experience. I love books!
I’ve always been a reader since I was a child, but somewhere along the line books became those things I collected but never actually read. I loved the idea of reading a particular book but after an exhausting day, I couldn’t get past one paragraph before I was snoring.
Now, books for me are near and dear to my heart and a very important part of my personal development. I prefer to read non-fiction simply because I get more out of them for the time I spend reading them.
If you love fiction, and they bring you joy then go for it!
I understand though, books are not a love for everyone. Maybe you like listening to podcasts, audiobooks or music that fills you up.
Here’s a post from VerilyMag recommending the best podcasts for women right now. Read it here!
I would also strongly recommend giving yourself a daily reading or listening goal just to keep you on track. Even reading just five pages a day will reap amazing results in your life!
Here are a few of my FAVORITE books!
Joy Brings Fulfillment
Outside of becoming more intentional and more connected we also want to feel fulfilled. And part of feeling fulfilled in life is knowing we are doing something that really matters.
This can be a touchy subject for women, especially moms. We spend many of our life seasons taking care of others’ needs and we often end up unsure if the work we’re doing really matters. Or is significant enough.
Let me help you create some peace and balance in your life by asking yourself a few questions:
- Is my life helping someone who can’t help themselves or needs constant assistance?
- Is my life being used to provide financially for others?
- Do I spend regular time considering how I can do more with the time I have?
If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions… you’re right now doing work that matters. Work that should bring you fulfillment!
If you’re a stay-at-home mom who spends all your days changing diapers and managing your home… you’re doing work that matters! And you won’t be doing this work forever. It’s a season – and one that goes by way too fast if you ask me. You’ll have another season where your life will be doing other meaningful things.
me-time isn’t necessarily something you need to schedule every day, but it’s something you need to put on the schedule regularly.
And I’m not talking about the general “me-time” activities like getting your nails done. I believe getting your hair and nails done (if that’s something you choose to do) should be categorized as your regular grooming, not your me-time.
Me-time is something special and unique to you as a person.
It may be gardening in your family’s garden. But if you are simply gardening because it’s time to harvest your monthly veggies but you don’t have any real love for gardening – it’s NOT me-time.
Photography could be a me-time where you go out into nature and take breathtaking photos for a couple of hours uninterrupted.
Me-time is anything that simply brings you joy. It’s not your business or other money-making venture, it’s not something your family relies on, or an activity people are waiting for you to complete.
This is a no pressure activity!
Do What Brings You Joy!
Something purely for YOU and you alone. I bet if I asked most moms and women in general if they had an activity they love that they did regularly purely for themselves – most would answer a big, fat no.
And I’d add that most probably wouldn’t even know what that thing is off the top of their head! I know what you’re thinking – how can I do something all for me when I can’t even get a babysitter for things my family needs?
All I can do is urge you to realistically put yourself on your calendar. Remember, this isn’t something that needs to happen every day at 6:00.
It’s a date you make with yourself at least on a monthly basis. And if you’re that one who doesn’t even know what you’d do, take time to go back in time. Go back to when you were in your 20’s, a teenager or even younger.
Think about the things you loved to do before all the demand on your time. Rediscover a lost part of yourself and bring it back into now. You never know how much it can add to your life!
What’s your idea of me-time? Share in the comments your favorite way to nurture your emotional needs.
Read the Full Series Here: