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How to Speak Life and Encourage Your Kids to Be Their Best

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Our children need our words of life, encouragement, and love spoken into their lives. Learn how the words we speak can cause damage or help them become their best.Words are powerful and have the ability to heal or destroy, uplift or tear down, encourage or intimidate, to love or to hate. And the words we speak to our kids will either encourage them to be their best or tear them down.

Yes, our words as parents are some of the most powerful words we’ll EVER speak!

Our words aren’t just a way we communicate our thoughts and needs to each other. They’re way more important – holding in each word the capability to frame our world.

Our words contain creative ability

God used only His words when He spoke the world into existence. And we were created by God to work the same way. In the book of Genesis we see God made us in His image and after His likeness. Therefore, we were created to be imitators of the way God operates. In fact, I believe He expects us to.

He framed the entire universe with only His words, and He expects us to do the same with the universe of our lives and family. We’ve been given a great power and the responsibility to choose and use our words wisely.

We’re all innately wired to use our words with purpose.

Think about when we see someone hurting or in need. We instinctively feel the need to say something to comfort or encourage. The same is true when we lose our temper hurtful words try to fly out of our mouth.

Deep down we know a few choice words can hurt deeper and far longer than a slap in the face.

For tips to keep from speaking harsh words in conflict, check out this blog post: 21 questions to ask yourself when conflict rises in your family.

Our Words Are Building Our Lives

Think of your words as the building materials of your life. Now picture yourself with your family on a construction site ready to build your lives together. You each have been given tools and the bricks to build the structure you’ll be living in. Your words are the bricks that that will become the walls of your life.

You can do as many people do and use those bricks as weapons to throw at each other through our comments. Or you can come together and use them to build your family’s legacy.

I’ve had some regretful moments where I attacked my oldest daughter’s character because I was mad at something she did (and probably stressed about something totally unrelated). After those moments, I remember I wanted to disappear because of the shame I felt. I knew that my words were going to linger in her heart if I didn’t stomp on my pride and make it right.

It only took a couple instances where I realized I held the ability in my words to help her change the story. Now, when I see something I don’t like, I tell her. And then show her a new way – writing a new, better story.

It’s OK to acknowledge when something’s not good, but then we need to follow that up with how we can make it better.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Our life, family, & destiny are either growing or starving by the words we speak every day.” quote=”Our life, family, and destiny are either growing or starving to death by the words we speak every day.” theme=”style1″]

Some have even committed murder to the life we’re destined to be living right now by words we spoke against our own self.

Our words, our simple passing words, should never be taken lightly. Think of it like our moms used to say, “if you  can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Good advice.

Whatever we say about our own life, body, husband, children, and purpose is being created all around us. They become our world – whether we like it or not.

Related Blog Post: How to Fight For Your Family in the Face of Challenging Times.

We are the prophets of our own lives

If we speak negative and condemning words long enough, we’ll eventually change the direction and outcome of what was to be. This is what sociologist Robert K. Merton coined in his work, as a self-fulfilling prophecy. In order for a prophecy to take place, there needs to be a prophet to speak it.

A prophet is one who foretells the future. Or we could say one who foretells their future. To foretell means to tell beforehand; predict, prophesy.

So we have much more power than we realize. We, with our words, can speak out our own future. We can speak out the future of our marriage. We can speak out the future of our children. We can speak out the future of our family.

Robert K. Merton describes a self-fulfilling prophesy as a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true.

How does a false definition, or false belief become a new behavior? That’s easy – we speak what we believe out of our mouths. Those words spoken and believed long enough will evolve into our new changed behavior.

The bible teaches that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. It also warns us to guard our heart because what flows out of is will determine the course of our life.

A child who is naturally smart but is told they are dumb by her family (even in a joking way) will eventually hear those words long enough until they believe them to be true. She’ll begin to speak about herself in a way that supports this belief and soon after will begin to perform in line with those words. Creating her own self-fulfilling prophesy.

This is why as moms and dads, we can’t take the words we speak over our children lightly. We are planting seeds in their hearts. No, we are life-givers using our words to breathe life and purpose into our children.

Make a decision today to be mindful of the words you speak. Stop throwing your bricks around. I had to do this over and over many times and still do. Be intentional to set into motion your own positive prophesy and speak not what you already see but what you desire to see.

What words to you speak over your family? Do you have declarations or confessions? Or did you overcome destructive words from your past?

It’s your time to share your testimony!


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